Coming this Summer: Wonderbutt vs. Chicken Butt

courtesy of urbandictionary.com

My whole life, I have been a one-dog person.  Even during the years that I didn’t have a dog.  I feel like I am missing a limb when I don’t have a canine companion.

For a little over a year now, I’ve been a two-dog person.  And I really like it.  Particularly since the two dogs are so different.  They are perfect complements to my bipolar personalities.

It’s interesting to watch the dynamics between the two dogs.  Mrs. P.I.B., our golden retriever, is going on 11 years old.  Wonderbutt, the bulldog, is about 18 months old.  He harasses Mrs. P.I.B. regularly.  It’s pretty clear that Mrs. P.I.B. would be perfectly content if Wonderbutt walked out the door and never returned.  Wonderbutt, on the other hand, is completely forlorn when his counterpart is not around.  When we let Mrs. P.I.B. outside to do her business, for example, Wonderbutt pines away by the door until we let her back in.  Then he pounces on her happily and trots around after her for a few minutes.  I like to think he actually misses her – and not that he’s just jealous she got to go outside when he didn’t.

Mrs. P.I.B. Warns Wonderbutt that She Has No Patience for His Shenanigans

The human members of the Firepants family were discussing this the other day when my husband, Cap’n Firepants, stated that Wonderbutt was “going to be lost when Mrs. P.I.B. passes away.” I had made this observation, myself, but it sobered us all to hear it out loud.

Jokingly, I said that we should get a third dog, so that there would never be one left alone.  And, I said, “We’re always saying the best time to get one is the summer because I’m home to train it.  We should get a puppy this summer.”

Dimples almost spit out her dinner.  That was pretty much the reaction I expected from the Cap’n, too.  He hasn’t been exactly thrilled with Wonderbutt’s concept of interior design, and most likely regrets daily that we ever became a two-dog household in the first place.

Instead, the Cap’n slowly said, “Maybe.”

Dimples’ mouth opened wide in disbelief.  I’m pretty sure both of my eyebrows went up to the top of my scalp.

“Are you serious?” I said.  “You would consider getting another dog this summer?”

I wasn’t even sure I would consider getting another dog this summer.  I had only said it because I was 99% sure it would make him jump – and it’s hard to rile the Cap’n.

“Really, Daddy?” Dimples said in a very worried voice.

“Yeah,” the Cap’n said slowly, almost as though he didn’t believe that he was saying it himself. “Just not another bulldog.”

Pondering this out-of-character response from the Cap’n last night, I suddenly sat up straight in bed.

I know what he’s doing, I thought.  He did this last week when I said, “Let’s open a bookstore in that bar that’s for lease.”  He said he would think about it, and then I lost interest.  Well, I didn’t lose interest.  I just realized that it was going to require a heckuva lot of work – and money.  And I know absolutely nothing about owning a business.  The point is, he didn’t say, “No” because he figured time was on his side.  I’m hip to this whole reverse psychology thing. 

I think it’s time for a little game of ‘Chicken’.

Honey - I found the perfect dog for us to adopt... photo credit: spierzchala via photopin cc