I am Thinking of Growing a Mustache
My new mission in life is to keep my 10-year-old daughter, Dimples, from ever watching the movie version of Les Miserables. Aside from the obvious reasons (the somewhat dark story line and Russell Crowe’s horrible singing which is only eclipsed by his steadfast refusal to do any acting), I am pretty certain that it would sever our mother/daughter relationship forever. Because the next time I tell her that we really don’t have enough money to spend on something, all she would have to do is pull the, “Fantine was willing to prostitute herself for her daughter, and you won’t even give me 75 cents to get a stick-on mustache from the vending machine!” complaint, and I will be forced to admit that I am pretty much the worst mother ever. Particularly since I am 99% certain that she does not know what a prostitute is right now (despite the fact that we once had a discussion about “skanks“, but there is a fine line between the two, I would say, and we never jumped over that line during that specific discussion). So, I will not only have exposed my daughter to the seedier side of life far too early, but I will also have armed her with the best guilt-trip weapon any daughter could possibly use. Although I suppose I could point out that, if Fantine was such a great mother, she probably should not have left her daughter with the despicable Thénardiers. But then my quick-witted daughter would say, “But at least I’d get to live with Hugh Jackman!” and I would have to admit that, all in all, that I don’t think I would be too upset if she went to live with Hugh Jackman. In a daughterly way, of course.
And here’s a thought. Do you think Hugh Jackman would let me come live with them, too?
But, I guess the real question is, “Should I give my daughter 75 cents to get a stick-on mustache from the vending machine just so she will not think I am a bad mom?”
And the answer is, of course, “Yes. Because that is small price to pay for not having to be a prostitute.”
P.S. – My other, more pressing, question is, “Why do the actors in Les Miserables always talk with a British accent even though it’s set in France?”