I Bet No One Accuses Meryl Streep of Being Impatient

The other day I got a lovely teaching award, and had some very nice things said about me.  Which is even better than the Oscars when you think about it – because no one says nice things about you when you win the Oscar (they just read your name off a teleprompter),  AND you’re expected to then get up and say nice things about other people.  That’s kind of a raw deal and almost makes me feel sorry for Meryl Streep – even though the whole time I was watching August: Osage County, I was thinking, “I bet she gets an Oscar for this.”

Anyway, I missed half of the nice things that were said about me because I obsessed over the first one, which had been said by a student.  “She is very patient.”

Even better than receiving an award is being proven right – especially when your husband and daughter, who both declare that you need to work on your patience, happen to be standing there and witnessing the right-proving of the woman they repeatedly malign with accusations of impatience.

“Did you hear that?” I asked my family after I received the award.

“To be honest, I didn’t hear very much,” my husband said.

I was somewhat prepared for that answer.  Before joining my family, I asked the speech-writer if I could have a copy of the speech.

“Look!” I pointed to the line about patience.  “See what they said about me?  I’m patient!”

They both shrugged.  “I guess they don’t know you very well,” one of them said.  I’m not sure who.  Because steam blowing out of your ears tends to interfere with your understanding of the directionality of voices.

I did a bit of self-reflection to try to figure out how this could happen.  I thought about the time I kept my cool with my daughter when she stayed in the shower for 30 minutes even after I told her to take a quick one because it was time for bed.  I thought about the incident(s) when I stifled by huffs of exasperation when my husband changed his mind thirty times about the restaurant we were going to grace with our company for a rare date.

I thought about this exact moment when my family came to witness my award presentation and they didn’t listen to a word that was said.

I thought about the many times that I closed my eyes and counted to infinity when I really wanted to scream at the top of my lungs.

And it all became clear.

I deserve an Oscar way more than Meryl Streep.

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Posted on February 9, 2014, in Annoyances, Family, Humor and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 43 Comments.

  1. Yep. As far as I’m concerned, anyone who cohabits with offspring without killing them deserves a medal.

  2. …and anyway, she has too many

  3. You haven’t killed your family yet! I say you deserve like 10 Oscars! :D

  4. witty! It’s funny how different people in our lives will attribute completely different attributes to us. I enjoyed your writing!

  5. congrats and so funny )

  6. congrats on your teaching award. I’m sure you deserve every bit of it. hubby got an award at work and they said something about him being patient with all his kids. whatever. I had to bite my tongue because we here at home know that is just not true. ;o)

  7. Yeah, but Meryl has to deal with paparazzi.

  8. Congratulations! I think if anyone ever says I’m patient I’ll just burst out laughing. You were very patient in not doing that.

  9. Even though you have written this with your characteristic humour, I can feel a bit of hurt here. I think, just from knowing you via your blog, you are the the Saint of patience! I admire you so much. Oh yes and congratulations on the award! xxx

  10. Frame that speech that says you’re patient. You can hang it on the wall next to your Oscar shelf. And your Teacher award shelf.
    My god, Meryl Streep doesn’t stand a chance!!

  11. Congratulations on your teaching award. Smart move getting the speech in black and white. Your family clearly are the ones who do not know you very well…..

  12. That made me laugh. I think I probably drove my mum potty before I moved out (and quite possibly still do despite living a couple of hundred miles away). She deserves an Oscar too.
    Congratulations. You can be the new Streep :D

  13. Oh, that is so funny. I can’t win with my family either. It drives me mad! Congrats on your award.

  14. Can I be included in your acceptance speech?

  15. I feel your pain…this sounds a lot like my house.

    And you DO deserve an oscar.

  16. Dimples and the Cap’n clearly don’t know what they’re talking about. It takes the patience of a saint to look after Wonderbutt! :)

  17. I didn’t know that- congrats!! :) dimples and cap’n should have paid attention a little better… And tell them I agree with your student.

  18. You still post a lot. You ARE patient!

  19. I am sooo impatient!! It gets me in trouble sometimes. But no one has ever, ever said that I’m patient. Must feel nice:)

  20. I think all mothers deserve an award if they even think they are patient. Trying to keep a family happy and safe is a beary big job. Everyone only gets one Mom with Mom love and Mom kindness and Mom feelings. Moms have a special place in their heart for everyone in their family. Its ok if they do not have patience all the time because good Moms will say sorry when they sometimes lose their patience and explain why they lose it because they love their family more than anything.
    Patchez

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