You know how you’re lying in bed at night chuckling about your bulldog’s latest antics, trying not to wake up your husband, but really wanting to wake him up so you can tell him what happened? And then you start thinking about how mad he would be. And then you start thinking about how stressed he is, especially about his mom who you escorted to a doctor’s appointment today, but how nice it was to just sit and chat by the neighborhood pool with him this evening while Dimples and her friend splashed around. And then you think, “Well, it was nice – until the kid got his head caught in the diving board.” And then you think, “Wow, Being Wedged into Uncomfortable Places must have been my theme for the day.”
Me – Caught Between a Doc and a Hard Place
The day started with Dimples and I taking my mother-in-law to the doctor. I’m not saying it was as bad as getting my head stuck in a diving board, but I don’t even like going to doctor’s appointments for myself – much less for other people. Particularly with an energetic 9-year-old who wants to play word games while I am trying to pay attention to the discomfort of my mother-in-law and to the rapid-fire recommendations from the doctor.
Boy – Caught Between a Dock and a Hard Place
In Part II of my Day of Wedges, the Cap’n and I were sitting at a table near the diving board chatting about Part I. And a family of three kids was goofing off around the board. The brother got up on the board and was kind of prancing toward the end when his foot slipped. He fell off the board in a kind of twisty way onto the concrete, somehow managing to get his head wedged between the railing and the board. And there he sat, with his ears trapped, apparently unable to move. (So, technically, a diving board is not a dock, but I was trying to make the pun work.)
I ran toward the boy, who looked to be about 11, while Cap’n Firepants and the lifeguard were a beat behind. I got to the boy first, but then I realized that this was a race I didn’t need to win because I didn’t really know how to help him. Getting your head wedged between a board and a metal railing was not part of the CPR training that I took when Dimples was an infant. He certainly did not need any kind of resuscitation because he was yelling quite emphatically that his head was stuck and that he couldn’t move it. His mouth was moving fine, though.
About 10 seconds after we all stood around trying to figure out what the heck to do, the boy unstuck himself. Ears still intact. Another lifeguard had already called his mom, and she was there in minutes. And I’m pretty sure he lived.
Wonderbutt – Caught Between a Dog and His Resting Place
Later that evening, I was watching late-night television while Wonderbutt snoozed on his new Wonderbutt bed at my feet. Suddenly, he stretched, rolled over onto his back, and tumbled to the floor. I gasped, but he didn’t even wake up. He just lay there, snoring, stretched out on his back, firmly wedged between his bed and the butt of our golden retriever, Mrs. P.I.B. A couple of times, he half-heartedly tried to turn over or roll back on his stomach in his sleep, waving his stubby little legs around – but he was too thoroughly entrenched between the bed and the butt.
It was one of those moments when you desperately wish that your actual eyeballs were video cameras. Or, that at least someone else was there to witness this. But the only witness was Mrs. P.I.B. and, as with most things involving Wonderbutt, she was not amused.
Hence, the awful picture taken with my iPad in very little light.
And so endeth the Day of Wedges.