Why Aren’t They Called Doughnuts?

I love cookies.  I am the Cookie Monster of the 21st century.  If you take away my cookies,  I will hunt you down.

I am talking internet website cookies.  The ones that remember things for you, like where you have visited, what you have already purchased on that site, and, most importantly, your login and password.  As we have already established, I have a memory problem.  And passwords are about 99% of my problem.

I realize it’s very Big Brother to have these sites tracking everything I do.  And I should probably resent the privacy intrusion.  But I’m getting to the point that I just don’t care.  Kind of like when I didn’t care when I was delivering my baby and my husband and 4 perfect strangers were watching the situation unfold on a mirror on the ceiling.  I had more important things to worry about than my sudden lack of privacy.

So when I periodically have to clean things off of my hard drive and cookies go with them, I get a little cranky.  Suddenly, the sites that have been greeting me by name have no idea who I am.  And I don’t either.

Which person was I when I started my Amazon account?  And what was my password du jour?  I started my internet identity as a fairly whole person, then gradually started splitting into multiple personalities as I attempted to cleverly outwit the brilliant hackers that are tracking every keystroke.

A psychiatrist would have a field day sifting through all of these identities.  Which is fine.  If he can make some sense of them, and discover the *&!@#$#! passwords, I would consider it worth the $1,000 per hour.

I get e-mails on a regular basis (addressed to various different identities) reminding me that I haven’t visited lately, and I feel like a blackout drunk trying to recall when I ever even visited the first time.  I am constantly hitting the “forgot password?” link because, God forbid, there is no regulatory commission for passwords, and different sites have different rules for length, number of letters and numbers you can use.  Many times, I hit the password link, only to be told that I never registered for that site to begin with.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, if there suddenly seems to be a long lull in my blogging, don’t call the police or anything to report that I’m missing.  First of all, remember my Phobia about stuff like that.  And secondly, I probably just forgot my !@$%! blog password.

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Posted on August 24, 2011, in Humor, Memory Loss and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. I know what you mean. I’ve moved on to Gmail because Yahoo started to think I was an addict when I had four email accounts. Such is the life of a blogger.

  2. Yes, passwords and their stupid sidekicks, usernames, do me in nearly everytime. I love you, cookies.

  3. I love Cookie Monster!!! I love Cookies!! I thought i was the only one who thought i was so smart that no one would ever be able to figure out my passwords!! Of course I cant remember them either so that doesnt help. LOL

  4. I cant even figure out how to sign up for wordpress without putting in a ton of codes . Today i tried again and i had to put in a blog name?? So i failed once again today.

  5. Haha! I only have two passwords, which isn’t very safe, but if it isn’t one of those passwords- I am stumped. I hate the secuirty questions that ask your favorite color or first car. I always get them wrong when I answer them trying to get my password. I forgot that I put my mom’s cadillac as my first car when really it wasn’t my first- just the first I drove. ARGH!

  6. Haha i do the same thing emily!! I always think which first pet do they mean??? And i always say i will remember and i never do! I callled the bank yesterday and they wanted to know the code word. I cant remember the code without a question and they wanted a code without a question…

  7. critters and crayons

    I worked in a job where I had to literally have over 60 unique passwords and each had different criteria and needed be changed regularly. I developed a spreadsheet I had to lock away that kept track of each. As the new one was developed, it created a new entry. I had to be able to see the old ones because they couldnt be repeated.

    It worked so well, I generated one for my personal life. I am not neurotic. It was survival. I found that I had as many personal passwords to keep track of, many with different criteria. I honestly don’t think all this technology is making our lives any easier. hahahaha!

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