Are Bulldogs Buoyant?

By the third day, the pressure was on for Wonderbutt to perform some amazing feat for the sole purpose of saving my blog from going down the tubes.  Determined not to miss one iota of our last day at The Ranch, I got up at the crack of dawn with Dimples.  We sat on the back porch listening to a rooster on a near property as Wonderbutt and Mrs. P.I.B. romped in the yard.

By the time everyone else awakened and breakfast was eaten, I despaired of making even the slightest interesting story out of Wonderbutt’s time at the ranch.  I was seriously considering writing about the miraculous poop beetles that clean the yard of any evidence that five dogs have visited The Ranch.  Wonderbutt had pretty much run out of milestone possibilities and our trip home with Mrs. P.I.B. panting in our ears for two hours was looming.

We decided to take the dogs for one more trip to the tank.  I brought the video camera with very little expectation of seeing anything worth filming.

When we got to the tank, The Dictator’s main water dog, Biscuit, flew into the water and immediately began to dog paddle towards the center.  The other dogs ran around at the edge, splashing each other, and cautiously going deeper and deeper.  We had learned a long time ago during a literally painful (for me) trip to the river that Mrs. P.I.B. did not feel comfortable if her feet weren’t touching the ground so we had no worries that she would get too adventurous.

Wonderbutt kept going a little bit deeper, watching his pals as they ventured farther from the edge.  My guess is that he didn’t take into account his much stubbier legs, because suddenly his paws were flailing and it was quite obvious he was no longer on firm ground.

Miraculously, I had the video camera on.  As we all watched with bated breath and I prepared to fling aside the camera and leap in to the rescue, he began to swim.  We all laughed and cheered him on.

Until he started going deeper.  Cap’n Firepants, who doesn’t swim, started saying my name in that panicked Do-Something-Right-This-Moment tone.  The tone also seemed to indicate that I was being a very bad mother by standing there and videotaping my bulldog’s demise by drowning.

Was this proof that Cap’n Firepants really does love Wonderbutt?

Fortunately, I did not have to prove my love for Wonderbutt by leaping into the murky depths to rescue him.  He seemed alarmed by the sudden turn his adventure had taken, and began to turn around and head to the shore.  We all breathed a sigh of relief.

In the meantime, Biscuit was determined to swim to the next continent, and no one seemed too concerned about him.

Maybe because he doesn’t have the shape and weight of an elongated bowling ball.

After five dog baths and some drying off time, we finally departed The Ranch.  A tired, but happy, group returned to our respective homes.

And Lulubelle, The Ranch Cat, breathed a sigh of relief.

Posted on September 7, 2011, in Blogging, Cap'n Firepants, Dimples, Dogs, Humor, Mrs. P.I.B., Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. I want to go to The Dictator’s ranch! Dimples could have jumped in and saved Wonderbutt, too….

  2. Even though I do not have proper internet connection I was determined to watch WB..It took 30 mins but I saw most of it.
    Poor WB..he looked so lost out in the middle , but being the big brave boy that he is , he managed to turn around and swim away like the other dogs which are all water dogs. Not too sure about Bulldogs but WB really enjoyed himself and did not need saving.

  3. I loved the video. Poor Wonderbutt, he just has too much muscle mass and not enough air volume in his body.

  4. Haha so cute it looked like Mia went up to him and was like that was stupid. When he was coming back to the shore he looked so sad like does anybody care i almost died. Mia should have saved him on her back. I want to see him doing the slip n slide.

  5. That is such a great video. It made me smile from ear to ear – always a good way to start the day!

    I love the way the two dogs came over to watch as Wonderbutt swam back in again. Lovely video, thank you for sharing!

  6. I love this story. Especially the part where the Cap’n looses his cool. It made me laugh out loud. The video was fun too. But I have to admit, as I was watching it, I found myself more concerned with the DOVE SHAMPOO and PERFECT 10 HAIR COLOR ads that pop in and out of the picture. As your hairstylist I have to say; Don’t Get Any Ideas!

  7. Sorry about the ads. I promise I had nothing to do with that! Don’t worry – only Aveda for me!

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