Appropriate Times to Overreact

Just another normal day in the Wonderbutt household…

I thought the dead rats in our attic were having a race yesterday morning.  Wonderbutt and Mrs. P.I.B. looked mildly curious about the racket, but not nearly as concerned as I thought they should be.  Then I looked outside, and realized the pattering sound above my head was actually rain.  It’s been that long.  Mrs. P.I.B. forgot that she is mortally afraid of any type of precipitation and didn’t even start panting.  Wonderbutt just looked at me, ignoring the sound and giving me his daily please-don’t-leave-me-to-go-to-that-stupid-job sad face.

Do You Have to Go to Work, Mom?

The storm was over by the time I had identified it.

Later on in the day, Dimples and I arrived home to a similarly unimpressed dog duo.  Wonderbutt showed off his toy of the day, and I briefly greeted him before heading to my closet to kick off my shoes.

“Mom!!!”  Frantic shouting from the Dimples, the Drama Queen.  Was Wonderbutt attacking her backpack again?

More frantic.  “Mom!!!!  There’s a snake!”

Now, let’s pause for a moment for a little background info.  Dimples is frantic when there is a spider in her tub, a tangle in her hair, or a missing remote control.  There are no in-between levels of freaking out in her opinion.  Every problem deserves the same amount of yelling at the loudest possible decibel.

So, you might understand why I didn’t immediately comprehend that there was an actual snake in the house.  Particularly since Wonderbutt and Mrs. P.I.B. had not bothered to indicate this fact upon our entrance.

I walked back down the hall to clarify the situation.  Yep.  Snake near the bottom stair.  Wonderbutt sitting on the other side of the gate looking somewhat bored about the situation as the snake tried desperately to crawl into the stair riser.  Dimples wide-eyed and practically hyperventilating.  No sign of Mrs. P.I.B.

Now, I am not a snake expert, but I have handled a few in my life as a teacher.  There was no rattle on the tail, and no alarming red or yellow colors.  I vaguely thought I remembered that venomous snakes have a certain snout shape, and this one did not look like the menacing kind.

So I told Dimples to open the back door, grabbed the snake behind the head, marched outside, and threw it in the garden.

Dimples gaped.  Mrs. P.I.B. reappeared and wagged her tail slightly apologetically, and Wonderbutt presented me with a medal – er, I mean, slobbery toy.

After releasing the snake, I realized that I was going to have some ‘splainin, to do to Cap’n Firepants.  If it had been him, he would have hacked the snake to pieces right there, irrespective of the fact that he would be scarring Dimples for life.

So, I Googled the snake.  Brown and black mottled snake in Texas.

Hah!  A Rat Snake!  This would be my defense for being a Snake Saving Pushover.

Because the more rat snakes patrolling our property, the less dead rats dancing around in our attic, right?



Posted on September 17, 2011, in Dimples, Dogs, Family, Humor, Mrs. P.I.B., Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 32 Comments.

  1. How can you go to work with thata sad puppy face.

  2. I’ll bet Dimples was duly impressed with her brave mother.

  3. How come whenever i see dimples i never see that crying or screaming! You must be making this behavior up!

  4. That is the saddest looking dog I’ve ever seen!

  5. You picked up the snake and tossed it in the garden just like that?! I am sorry, I am with Dimples. Any kind of snake warrants screaming, hyperventilating, etc.!!

  6. We have lots of ring neck snakes around the house because of all the rocks and it’s my job to save and relocate one of them when we dislodge one, so I can relate.

  7. Oh my gosh, I forgot about that! You are right… well, what an achievement. 🙂

  8. Oh you are so brave. I would have been terrified…but maybe I would have got a long stick and removed it that way…no way would I have picked it up..I’m with Dimples, Wonderbutt and Mrs P I B on this one.

    Ain’t he just one gorgeous specimen! Wonderbutt of course!

  9. I really enjoyed your blog, so I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. I also posted a link to your blog from mine.

  10. Hilarious post! I admire your composure in face of danger 😉

  11. I laughed my booty off. In fact I refilled my old coffee cup, came back and reread again. Laughed just as hard. I too have a “Dimples” only in a teen version.

  12. TheIdiotSpeaketh

    I would happily take a thousand rats….. I cannot handle snakes…. no way! ….. bring on the cute little rats…. 🙂

  13. These are great! Thanks for sharing.

  14. My children also go from 0 to 60 on the drama-meter over very little. In a tone that should be reserved for “a man with knives has broken into the house and has already killed the dogs,” they inform me that the computer isn’t working, it is time for cookies, and there is a horse and rider on the road.

  15. Hah! You are much braver than I ever will be! Snakes don’t freak me out like they do a lot of people, but I don’t think I could’ve picked up the bugger. Good work and funny post!

  16. OH! MY! GOD!! My skin is crawling right now! Mr. Husband definitely has the right idea.





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