You’ve Made Your Point, Wonderbutt

Wonderbutt Tries to Get a few Pushups in Before His Weigh-In at the Vet - Or is He Trying to get to the Krispy Kremes?

Wonderbutt is having stomach problems.  It could have something to do with the piece of panty hose he ingested tonight.  Or the strings he managed to swallow off his rope toy yesterday.  Or the three low-cal dog treats he got at the vet today.

Talk about good times.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  Both Wonderbutt and Mrs. P.I.B. needed the same vaccination so I reasoned that it made sense to take them both at the same time.  I think grabbing the snake by the neck the other day made me feel like I could do just about anything.

To add to the fun and games, I brought Dimples along.  The intention was for her to help out.  Uh huh.

Surprisingly, Wonderbutt was quite well-behaved at the vet.  He didn’t lose control of his bladder as soon as the receptionist said his name, as he usually does.  And he didn’t sulk when the vet said that he, a short bulldog, weighed only one less pound than Mrs. P.I.B., a quite tall golden-retriever, and that Wonderbutt could probably stand to lose about ten pounds.  He even it kept together when we heard how much this was all going to cost.

Oh yeah, that was my cue to lose control of my bladder.

So we all piled back into the car and headed home.  Two minutes into the 15 min. trip, there wafted a very nasty smell up to the front seat.  Wonderbutt had passed some obnoxiously noxious gas.

Nope. Worse than that.  And worse than the bladder thing. “Ewwww!” was Dimples’ helpful response.  Can’t really say I blame her since his fragrant deposit was on the floor behind me, and she was seat-belted next to it.

So I stopped at a dumpster, and scooped Wonderbutt’s Revenge for Getting Vaccinated to where it belonged.

Two minutes later, the smell was no better.  In fact, it was even more abominable.  Apparently, he hadn’t been finished getting his message across.

I refused to stop again, reasoning that, at this rate, it was going to take us 24 hours to get home. (That probably isn’t mathematically correct, but I have to wait until next week to pose the problem to my gifted fifth graders.)

We finally made it to our driveway, and after much confusion about how to exit the car without spreading the wealth all over the upholstery, got the dogs into the house.  I did my best to oust the stain and the smell before the Texas sun baked it in permanently.

Walked back into the house and nearly water-skied across the kitchen floor on Wonderbutt’s next gift.

Apparently, he had had second thoughts about that vet bill.

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Posted on September 22, 2011, in Dimples, Dogs, Humor, Mrs. P.I.B., Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 27 Comments.

  1. How could anyone pass up a post with the tags: humor, poop, revenge, smell and urine?

    If it makes you feel any better, in an act of willful disobedience, my cat actually peed on the vet while in the midst of being vaccinated.

  2. I drove 1500 miles with my dog who has extremely vile gas. It was not pretty, but at least she did not leave any deposits. When I would open the window to get fresh air, the dog hair would fly around the inside of the car and invariably end up in my eyes or mouth.

  3. LOVE me some Wonderbutt!!! My bulldog used to used to let go of those noxious gases while riding shotgun with me on road trips to visit my mom… then climb to the way back of the SUV leaving me with the smell. He did NOT like going to my mom’s & every time his poorly trained mutt cousins took a dump in the dining room, he’d sit next to it & look at it til a human found it & punished the offender.

  4. Sounds like you had a pretty intelligent bulldog there!

  5. Maybe Wonderbutt was just upset that the vet said he was overweight. That is a hard message to take.

  6. Ah, the good old days. I had a cat that would projectile-vomit with seconds of being placed in the car. After the first episode of painstakingly scraping cat puke out of all the little nooks and crannies (and air vents) in my dashboard, I relegated the carrier to the back seat, draped in a garbage bag. It did nothing to hide the smell, but at least the whole mess was contained when I got home.

    Helpful hint: Do not mention to the vet that you brought your cat in a garbage bag. This makes the vet tense, and long explanations ensue.

  7. I <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 Wonderbutt! My favorite dog ever 🙂

  8. I think that tops the bad breath post by some considerable margin!!! ha ha

  9. Don’t you just love ’em these pets of ours…smell. pooh and puke but would we be without them. NO WE WOULD NOT!

    I love your Wonderbutt as I have said many times before so forgive him his little happenings, give him a cuddle and a kiss from me.

    Love P

    Your posts are hilarious and I love reading them..in fact I look out for them and read them first xxx

  10. Aw, I ❤ Wonderbutt! I hope his tummy gets better soon.
    As for the smell, I feel your pain. Our "Ninja Kittehs" who live in the backyard befriended a family of skunks recently. Even though they live outside, the smell still finds its way in to us. Blech!

  11. Ha ha! Wonderbutt—perfect name apparently! Hope everyone recovers!

  12. Oh my! I am thanking my lucky stars that Lance is allergic to dogs right now. Although I guess kids can be just as big a pains sometimes… Poor Dimples in the backseat!

    • So, funny update. Today we had to go on another trip with the dogs. When we got back in the car, sans dogs, I smelled that awful smell again. I asked Dimples to see if Wonderbutt had left another present. “Uh, it was me,” she sheepishly admitted.

  13. Thanks for the laughs VERSATILE BLOGGER!! Add mine to your collection. 🙂

  14. Oh, Wonderbutt. After your very stressful, insult-filled day, your humiliation is now all over the internet? Poor stinky dog.

    My dog before Sherman had a very sensitive stomach, and she once suffered a bout of explosive diarrhea in my SUV, on the freeway, the day before I was headed for an out of town wedding. Always the perky girl, though, her long, fringed tail kept waving. The back of my vehicle really did look like the sh*t had hit a fan. Oy.

    I feel your pain, sister. My eyes water on your behalf.

    • Oh no! How in the world did you even begin to clean that up?!!!!

      • The amazing people at my kennel told me to pull around to the area where they wash their horses, then they swept in with their squeegees for the solids and bleach and hot water for the liquids. My Element has no carpet, just rubber floor, so it was fairly manageable. I don’t know what I would have done with the kennel people. They wouldn’t even let me help with the mess because it called for bleach (clearly) and they didn’t want me to ruin my black outfit.

        The smell however, lingered.

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