Another Kind of Butt

For those of you who are new readers, one of the frequent topics in this blog happens to be the adventures of our bulldog, AKA Wonderbutt.

Wonderbutt has many endearing traits, although he can be a little challenging sometimes.  Today’s post, however, is not about Wonderbutt and one of his epic escapades.  Today I am going to address the not-so-attractive qualities of someone else in the “Butt” family – Butthead.

The particular Butthead to which I am referring may be someone you have encountered as well.  Unfortunately, you, Dear Reader, could actually be the Butthead, yourself.  If so, and you recognize yourself in this post, I apolog, I will not be upset if you cancel your subscription.

Chances are, though, that the Butthead in question  is not reading this, or won’t recognize herself even if she does.  So I think my subscription stats are pretty safe.

We went to a concert last night.  It was the last Maroon 5/Train performance of their tour.  It was sold out.  We had lawn tickets, and arrived at Woodlakes Pavilion in Houston about 15 minutes after the concert had started.  There wasn’t a whole lot of lawn left.

We finally found a large enough spot for the five of us, including Dimples.  We really couldn’t see, but Dimples had a good attitude about that.  She was fine with just hearing the concert, and I figured we couldn’t be too picky since we hadn’t paid a lot for the lawn tickets and hadn’t gotten there as early as we planned.

What I hadn’t remembered from the last time I sat on a lawn for a concert (pre-Dimples), was that smoking is okay in that section. What I had way underestimated, apparently, was the number of people who still smoke, and can’t seem to go 5 minutes without a cigarette.

The Butthead was a woman in front of us who, and I swear this is not hyperbole, went through at least 10 cigarettes, if not more, during the span of the concert.  As soon as she extinguished each butt on the ground (which reflexively freaked me out each time because of the Texas wildfires we’ve been having), she would light up a new one.  Not only that, but she had for some reason decided that it was rude to blow her smoke into the backs of the people in front of her.  Instead, she turned around and exhaled into our faces.

There were others smoking around us, as well, and before long, Dimples had itchy eyes and a disturbing cough. I led her to another section where we attempted to stand as upwind from the smoke as possible.  But it was standing room only, and before long Dimples’ little legs were tired, and we returned to our picnic blanket.  I had the ingenious idea for us to turn our backs to the stage, since we couldn’t see it anyway, protecting Dimples from the direct onslaught of Butthead’s smoke.

I understand that if we had sprung for the higher priced seats, we would not have had this experience.  But I find it kind of elitist that only the people who have more money are guaranteed protection from second-hand smoke.  The whole theater, after all, is outdoors, and having all of the smokers concentrated to one section makes it pretty certain that the (apparently rare) spendthrift non-smoker is going to be enveloped in a noxious cloud that rivals Wonderbutt’s own gas attacks.

So, to the Butthead at the concert last night at the Woodland, here’s Whatimeant2say:  “I’m sorry you are so addicted to smoking that you can’t even stop for 5 minutes while you’re enjoying good music.  But maybe next time you can wander away from the crowd to light up.  Just because you don’t respect your own body doesn’t mean you have to wreak havoc on ours.”

And to those of you who smoke, but respect others by “taking it somewhere else”, thanks.  As a token of my gratitude, I will make an attempt to contain Wonderbutt’s fumes as well.

You Know Who You Are

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Posted on September 25, 2011, in Annoyances, Humor, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. I HATE that! Especially with Lance’s asthma when someone is doing it around him (kids in general should be a rule of thumb) without any regard to how the wind is blowing…ticks me off!!! Poor Dimples, sounds like she was a trooper.

    • I was actually thinking of Lance last night when Dimples started reacting to the smoke, and I felt bad for anyone who had breathing problems and has to pay $30 more for a ticket just so they don’t land in the hospital.

  2. In Arizona no one can smoke in public places and it’s wonderful. Sounds like Texas needs a law like that as well.

    • I think some cities in Texas have ordinances that prevent smoking indoors. San Antonio does, but there are certain exclusions right now, I believe, like bars. I don’t know what Houston’s rules are. But we are talking about the state where you can carry concealed handguns.

  3. Smoking has been banned here in Calgary in all indoor places for the past several years, and I hadn’t realized how I’d come to take fresh air for granted. I was at an outdoor event recently, and I was shocked at how annoying and invasive the cigarette smoke was.

    On one hand, I feel a little sorry for the smokers who are, after all, outdoors. If they can’t smoke there, where can they smoke?

    But I hate breathing in somebody else’s cancer-causing fug. If it’s not acceptable for us to be subjected to second-hand smoke indoors, why is it okay for it to be inflicted on us outdoors?

    Too bad it’s so hard for people to quit. We’d all be better off if they could.

  4. I smoke but I try and always be respectful of people around us. I don’t smoke with my children around either. I’m sorry butthead was a litter bug, pyro, and just disrespectful to boot.

  5. Wonderbutt sounds awesome!
    What a weird statement to type….

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