You Can Have Your Pants Back When I’m Good and Ready

Since I kind of gave everything I had yesterday, and my Writer’s Block shows little signs of subsiding, I am going to resort to the handy blogger trick of making a list.  I’ve decided that I will update you on some of the previous posts, cleverly trying to get you to read other parts of my blog if you happen to be a new visitor.

First update – I’ve decided that I will definitely not do porn.  Anytime soon.  I have gotten more information on the Adult Spelling Bee to be held in December, and it seems that I will not have to do any stripping if I miss a word.  My contact tells me that they will be selecting a book from which to obtain a word list, which should be fine – as long as it is from the Dr. Seuss series.  If the words are more than one syllable, I may be in trouble.  According to the organizers, there is no registration necessary, which worries me due to my problem with staying committed to activities in which I have no monetary investment.

Update Deuce – Wonderbutt’s Weight Loss Challenge.  We have reduced Wonderbutt’s chow intake, and increased his two minute workout to three point five.  Here are the before and after pics.  The difference is astounding.

I May Have Gotten the Before and After Mixed Up

C.  Big Mean Kitty – is on his way to the Great Landfill in the Sky.  More about that tomorrow if my Brain Barricade is lifted by then.

4. Cap’n Firepants has not taken exception to any of the posts including him other than the fact that he still can’t understand why he is called Cap’n Firepants.

Next – Dimples is still torturing me with her homework and her questions from the backseat of the car.  My answers apparently bear no weight though.  I pointed out an excellent example of a skank yesterday when we chanced upon a Halloween costume site, and she asked me, “Now what was that again?”

*I still don’t do Facebook, even though there are lots of people I like.

Also – Every week I capture in my blogging web at least one person who apparently was trying to find out if John Denver really suffered from depression, according to my site stats.  I’m not sure what would be more depressing – if it is the same person, or that there are multiple people with this concern.

Lastly – I’m also somewhat worried about the person who landed on my site when they Googled, “I want my pants back.”  Was he or she hoping for specific results when typing that in?  How disappointing it must have been to click on the link that directed them here.  And so, I felt obligated to title my post today in such a manner that this person’s search will provide an answer to the somewhat demanding statement, “I want my pants back.”  They might find it more satisfying than reading about the exploits of Cap’n Firepants, who I am not willing to surrender at any price.

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Posted on October 4, 2011, in Big Mean Kitty, Blogging, Cap'n Firepants, Depression, Dimples, Dogs, Humor, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. Oh yes! I had a search term for “nakey kid”!! hahahahah! and yikes!

  2. I’ve had some bizarre search terms lead to my blog too, but every view is a potential subscriber so who am I to judge?

  3. Ha! Great post title!

    Linking to the name generator in the Cap’n Firepants post was a rotten thing to do, though. Now it’s half an hour later, and my life has been immeasurably improved by the knowledge that my Assassin Name is “Bloodclaw”, and my Trucker Name is “Rattler”.

    Oh, and don’t feel badly. The top search term for my blog this week was “beaver kind”. Don’t even ask. 🙂

  4. Top search for mine was “sally field camel toe”. I find that so disturbing.

  5. Don’t put porn in your blog! You’ll steal all my readers! Well, I guess they’re not really reading anything…. never mind.

  6. My next post was going to do just what you and for the same reason, haha. I’m still going to work on my Google search post, but I didn’t want you to think I was copying you. Great minds think alike!

  7. Do you think perhaps Wonderbutt is so hefty because his attitude refuses to slim down? Please don’t tell him I said so: I’d hate to hurt his feelings.

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