Today’s topic is The Bra. Don’t worry, guys. I’ve got you covered too.
It all started when I told one of my friends that she just needed to Google “Wonderbutt” to find my blog. Then it occurred to me that I had actually never done this and I really had no idea as to what results would come up with what, to some, might be a slightly dubious search term. So, I checked.
I was happy to verify that some of my blog posts actually do show up under such a search. But, of course, that’s not the only thing.
The first thing that caught my eye after noting the links to my posts was a site for the “Wonder Butt Bra”. The image that came into my mind upon reading this was not the same as the graphic that accompanied it on Google. Apparently, someone actually filed a patent for such a contraption. Designed to raise up your butt, of course. I’ve often thought I needed this very item.
After puzzling over why this invention had not become an immediate smashing success, I went back to my first image. You see, I’ve been kind of noticing that, as Wonderbutt has gained weight, he has also developed that feature dreaded by all males – man boobs. I am serious, People, his chest is dragging. And he is apparently and understandably sensitive about it because he tries to bite my camera lens whenever I try to get proof.
This, of course, led me to thinking about the greatest lingerie for men ever invented – by Kramer – on Seinfeld. The Bro. This is what Wonderbutt will need if he does not get serious about losing weight. If that’s not incentive, what is?
So, I’m thinking that surely Wonderbutt is not the only dog suffering from this affliction, and there should be a product developed to rectify it. As always, when I feel a new invention idea coming on, I get really excited about all of the money I’m about to make. Then, I Google it to make sure no one has beat me to it. That is how I found the website for dogs with bras. Yes, People, there is an actual website devoted to pictures of dogs wearing women’s upper undergarments.
And I am looking at it.
And, if the site is to be believed, the audiences of “Two and Half Men” and “The View” got an eyeful as well.
I think I have reached an official new low.
Are there bras to support sagging morals and lift up withering wits?