Excuse You

Apparently this app exists. But I don't have it. I swear.

My iPad has started burping music.

I downloaded iOS 5, being eager to attempt “mirroring” my iPad on our T.V.

Ever since the new download, the iPad has worked flawlessly, except for an infrequent sound that I can seriously only describe it as a musical burp.

The first time it happened, I thought I had accidentally hit the iPod icon on my iPad. But it has happened several times now, and since there is no reason that I should suddenly be quite that inept, I’m thinking my iPad is either feeling gassy or attempting to communicate with me.

What?  Are you suggesting that is an incredible leap of logic?  What reasonable explanation do you have for this phenomena?

With the introduction of the Siri app on the iPhone 4s, I honestly don’t think it’s reaching too far to suspect that my iPad is going rogue and trying to speak to me on its own.  I’m not sure what it would be trying to tell me, but it could be something like, “Tell Wonderbutt to stop trying to lick my screen.”

If you think that’s too far-fetched (the iPad conversing with me part; you should all know, by now, that Wonderbutt is perfectly capable and more than a little prone to licking whatever he feels like), listen to what happened the other day:

Our Apple T.V. Box was rebooting (apparently it decided to upgrade itself when I turned it on).  Wonderbutt was happily bullying Mrs. P.I.B. by stealing the orange Kong sphere and then literally rubbing it in her face.  When the Apple logo appeared on the screen, Wonderbutt suddenly froze.  He dropped the ball, and raced to the T.V., flattened his already smushed-in face against the screen, and tried to bite the apple.

I kid you not.  Right where there is a bite already taken out of the apple, Wonderbutt gnashed his teeth.  Dimples and I fell on the floor laughing.

Cap’n Firepants raced to save his T.V.

Now, I’m not telling this story to give you more proof of Wonderbutt’s adorable insanity.  I’m thinking Wonderbutt suspects something.  He knows Apple is trying to take over the world and that he, Wonderbutt, is the only one who can save us from this evil menace.  Especially since his idiot family keeps buying iStuff.

So, I’m becoming a bit more wary of my burping iPad, which Wonderbutt would also gleefully chomp if I left it in his vicinity.  I don’t believe in coincidence.  The iPad, the Apple T.V., even Big Mean Kitty; it’s all beginning to make sense.  From now on, the only operating system that gets upgraded is my own.

Posted on October 18, 2011, in Dogs, Family, Humor, Phobia, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

  1. LOL! Truly, there’s app for everything.

    Don’t worry, I just got a new Blackberry (not intentionally, but that’s another story). It doesn’t burp music. Instead, every now and then it erupts into speech: “Say a command!” it blurts enthusiastically.

    I’ve tried telling it to “Shut up”, and when that fails, telling it to perform certain anatomically impossible acts, but with no success so far, on either count. Maybe someday I’ll discover the secret command it’s looking for. Or maybe I don’t really want to know.

  2. Do you have to burp it like a baby? Yikes! Does it cry too? Clean itself?

  3. I’m embarassed to say that 95% of this post made no sense to me whatsoever….I’m so tech un-saavy and digitally slow that I’m completely behind the times…..iSo….app??? What??? It has inspired me to try harder to stay up with the times for sure.

  4. I’m wondering what songs it burps. There may be a clue in there!

  5. There was a Wonder Woman flying around the earth trying to save people and things but somehow I can’t imagine Wonderbutt in lycra shorts and a flying cape circumnavigating the world.

    As for you ipad..perfectly possible in your house.

  6. When technology starts thinking for itself we’ll wish the world had gone to the dogs. I think Wonderbutt’s got it all figured out.

  7. I should crawl back under my rock. I have no idea what most of these gadgets are. But I did get a big fat laugh over your bulldog trying to eat the apple. I DO know what that is!

  8. I haven’t read your blog in an age because WordPress ate my subscription. Yours is one of at least three blogs that has happened to. It’s fixed again for now.

  9. Does it burp from the top or bottom? If the bottom, watch out – bottom burps can be very embarrassing if you are using the iPad in a public place! 🙂

  10. Hmm. Good question. I will try to identify the source next time!

  11. This is how the machines take over. This is how it begins. Perhaps Wonderbutt is just trying to warn us.

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