All Good Dogs Go to Heav – I mean Houston

Happy Birthday, Wonderbutt.  I’m sorry your birthday was as crappy as mine.  On the up(yours)side, though, you didn’t really seem to notice.

You’ve accomplished a lot since you entered our household as a 13 pound puppy:

This Was Before You Decided You'd Rather Eat Your Bed Than Sleep in It

  • destroyed our carpet
  • torn apart 5 pillows
  • shredded the bottom of our couch
  • destroyed our carpet again
  • littered our floor with I.E.D.’s (Icky Excrement Droppings)
  • gained 52 pounds
  • thoroughly destroyed our carpet beyond any silly little hope on my part that some steam cleaning would fix it right up

So You Use Our Couch Instead


In your favor, though, you have also:

  • trained us all to put our shoes away (or at least on the windowsill) so you won’t eat them
  • readied us for battle in any war zone riddled with land mines
  • brought our family closer because there is now only one decent piece of furniture we can precariously squeeze all three of us on at the same time

I have to say, in this month of Thanksgiving, that there is one thing I am supremely grateful for (besides the smiles you bring to our family) – that you can’t read.

As you know, Wonderbutt, our favorite cousins, the Globetrotters, visited this weekend from Houston.  Sans dogs.  We told them to bring their two dogs, but they seemed to think four dogs in one household would be too much.  There’s not much more potential for damage at our house at this point, but oh well.

Anyway, the Globetrotters brought a magazine to which I do not want you to be exposed.  Because I don’t think you need to get any ideas.

San Antonio is a pretty big city.  But apparently, it’s not as big as Houston.  And it’s certainly not as big of a dog city as Houston.  At least not according to this magazine, Dog Talk.  (As we speak, I am typing this in a public place, and trying not to let anyone see that I have this magazine with a picture of a Yorkie wearing a polka-dot party dress and ruby red Dorothy slippers. I feel like I need to put brown paper wrapping on it.)

Once I got past the humping article (well, you probably should read that article, Wonderbutt) in Dog Talk, I started realizing all of the dog amenities that are available in Houston.  I think we’ve had a dog bakery or two in San Antonio.  And even doggie “spas”.  But I’m pretty sure none of the spas or boarding kennels in San Antonio offer “luxury” swimming pools or actual doggie birthday party facilities.

According to its advertisement, “Dogs r Dogs” offers a fitness center, a movie center, a ballroom, and a treat lounge.  All. For. Dogs.

Oh, I just got the ballroom pun.  Haha.

At “Club Canine”, I could have enrolled you in “Puppy Pitfall Prevention.”

But then, what would I have to write about?

So, clearly, Wonderbutt, you would have had a much better puppyhood and birthday if you lived in Houston.  (Maybe that explains the lack of effort the family put into my birthday.  I don’t even want to know what extravagances Houston’s Human Talk magazine includes.)

I’m sorry you have to slum it with us in San Antonio, Wonderbutt.  Just remember, though, it’s the love that counts – not the gourmet treats you can get at the “Pawty Palace.”  Or the limousine pick up service at its rival “Pet Palace.”  Or the Dog Swim Parties at (I swear to God I’m not making this up) “Rummy’s Beach Club”.

At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

Posted on November 3, 2011, in Dogs, Family, Humor, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 22 Comments.

  1. writingandrecovering

    There are some pretty crazy things in Houston. We can add the dog stuff to the list. Puppy wonderbutt is adorable. Still is, but almost anything in baby form is adorable. Almost.

  2. I loved doggy clothes so much I opened a dog boutique specializing in doggy couture, blingy collars also king and queen beds,

  3. LOL, great post! Pretty sure we don’t have dog spas in the greater Charleston, WV, metro area. In fact there may not even be human spas.

    Just recently acquired two canines ourselves, but they have been relegated to the back yard. Judging from the destruction they have wrought on every man-made object they can reach on the exterior of our home they will not soon be invited inside.

  4. Happy Birthday Wonderbutt! You just keep getting more handsome!

    I am guilty of spoiling my dog by taking him to doggy daycare once a week, but it has definitely saved my house to treat him to a day out every Tuesday.

    • Wonderbutt’s spoiling consists of being allowed to hurl his 65 pounds into my lap every night for a couple of hours of contented snoring, drooling, and passing gas while I attempt to write this blog.

  5. Happy Birthday Wonderbutt…you have got to get your humans to treat you to a day at the doggie spa…it does wonders for us four-leggeds. My human drops me off at my spa and when SHE picks me back up I am like a whole new pup all over again!

  6. Happy Birthday to Mr Wonderbutt, the dog with attitude that makes us all laugh.. I loves yer Big Boy…
    Also Happy Birthday to your Carer , was it on the same day?
    You could all have gone for a doogy Spa together

  7. Wonderbutt’s list of accomplishments is impressive. Raise time!

  8. I love that you are now so much closer as a family, since you all have to share the sofa!

  9. Very funny post, particularly the list of destruction but my first reaction was – is that all! 🙂

  10. Wonderbutt, we should share lists – after we take a trip to Houston together. -Bongo

  11. Wonderbutt seems to be following the example of all the children I know — getting away with murder because they’re so cute, even if they aren’t as small as they once were. 🙂

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