Stop Following Me
I mean it. You there. Stop it. You’re creeping me out. Shoo.
No, not you, Loyal Blog Reader. You’re fine. Stay right there. It’s the Other People I’m trying to get rid of.
You know. The ones who started following me with absolutely no kind of invitation or wearing of provocative clothing, I swear.
It’s those darn Pinterest People.
So, here’s the thing. I heard about how great Pinterest was, and how I just “had to get an invite”, so I begged someone to invite me, and created an account. Because I totally missed the Facebook bandwagon (this is why I haven’t liked you, in case you’re wondering), and I didn’t want to get left in the dust on anything else.
But then I didn’t have time to actually use my account. And then I forgot my account name and password.
And then someone was showing me again how it cool it is, and I thought I should really try to figure out WTF my name is. My Pinterest name, I mean. I only forget my own name when in the presence of people who – well, I digress.
Shockingly, I figured it out after three tries, and there it was. My empty bulletin boards just waiting for some pins.
And then I noticed that there were 11 people following me.
I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I literally had like three things pinned on my boards AND ELEVEN PEOPLE thought I was worthy enough of following.
It’s kind of insulting.
Why, you may ask, do I find this insulting?
Because I didn’t do anything. I just saw things I liked on other people’s boards, and hit a button to pin it to mine.
Yet, here on my blog, day in and day out, I work my tail off trying to achieve a Following of Biblical Proportions. While I may have managed to eke out more than 11 followers here on WordPress, it’s certainly taken a heckuva lot more work than clicking on the mouse three times. That’s a total of 9 mouse clicks I did to gain 11 followers on Pinterest.
So, let’s see, if I remember my Algebra correctly:
9 over 11 = 6000 over x
Carry the 1 and subtract -16 and take the square root. Multiply by an imaginary number, and I should have, proportionately, like over 7300 followers by now on this blog.
But I have a plan.
I’m going right now into my Pinterest account, if I can remember what it is, and I’m going to find my blog and pin THAT to one of my boards.
Haha! Take that, you Weird People who Follow Me for Showing No Productivity, Creativity, or Even Originality in Naming My Own Virtual Bulletin Boards.
Not you, Dear Reader. Carry on.