Stop Following Me

Zazzle.com Knows How I Feel

I mean it.  You there.  Stop it.  You’re creeping me out. Shoo.

No, not you, Loyal Blog Reader.  You’re fine.  Stay right there.  It’s the Other People I’m trying to get rid of.

You know.  The ones who started following me with absolutely no kind of invitation or wearing of provocative clothing, I swear.

It’s those darn Pinterest People.

So, here’s the thing.  I heard about how great Pinterest was, and how I just “had to get an invite”, so I begged someone to invite me, and created an account.  Because I totally missed the Facebook bandwagon (this is why I haven’t liked you, in case you’re wondering), and I didn’t want to get left in the dust on anything else.

But then I didn’t have time to actually use my account.  And then I forgot my account name and password.

And then someone was showing me again how it cool it is, and I thought I should really try to figure out WTF my name is.  My Pinterest name, I mean.  I only forget my own name when in the presence of people who – well, I digress.

Shockingly, I figured it out after three tries, and there it was.  My empty bulletin boards just waiting for some pins.

And then I noticed that there were 11 people following me.

I couldn’t believe it.  I mean, I literally had like three things pinned on my boards AND ELEVEN PEOPLE thought I was worthy enough of following.

It’s kind of insulting.

Why, you may ask, do I find this insulting?

Because I didn’t do anything.  I just saw things I liked on other people’s boards, and hit a button to pin it to mine.

Yet, here on my blog, day in and day out, I work my tail off trying to achieve a Following of Biblical Proportions.  While I may have managed to eke out more than 11 followers here on WordPress, it’s certainly taken a heckuva lot more work than clicking on the mouse three times.  That’s a total of 9 mouse clicks I did to gain 11 followers  on Pinterest.

So, let’s see, if I remember my Algebra correctly:

9 over 11 = 6000 over x

Carry the 1 and subtract -16 and take the square root.  Multiply by an imaginary number, and I should have, proportionately, like over 7300 followers by now on this blog.

I don’t.

But I have a plan.

I’m going right now into my Pinterest account, if I can remember what it is, and I’m going to find my blog and pin THAT to one of my boards.

Apparently

Haha!  Take that, you Weird People who Follow Me for Showing No Productivity, Creativity, or Even Originality in Naming My Own Virtual Bulletin Boards.

Not you, Dear Reader.  Carry on.

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Posted on November 5, 2011, in Blogging, Humor, Memory Loss, Phobia, Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 25 Comments.

  1. There was (And maybe still is. I don’t know.) something similar on FB called Pieces of Flair. Essentially it was a virtual corkboard where you would attach virtual buttons with pithy sayings which was a virtual way to show everyone your virtual personality. It held my interest for a little while then the true pointlessness of it became clear.

    • Really? I never heard of that. Probably because of the whole missing the FB boat thing. EVERYONE is talking about Pinterest, though. Could it be just a fad? I hate that. Wasting my time on a fad, I mean.

  2. It might take you longer to write a post on WordPress but WE REALLY DO APPRECIATE you and your efforts.

    leave the others b’s alone they are not worth it

  3. I remember pieces of flair on Facebook. Lol. That was a fad. I’m not sure about pintrest but I’ve found some stuff that makes me laugh 🙂

  4. I have never heard of this Pinterest you speak of. What is it? How would one find it? Oh never mind I just found it. You need to pin your awesome blog!

  5. Oh no! I just had to Google “pinterest,” thinking it was a very small terrorist. Now I feel like I have just been run over by yet one more piece of 21st century technology, before I have even grasped the meaning of Angry Birds. I’m sunk.

  6. I had to check your link. I’d never heard of Pinterest before. I’m having trouble keeping up with Facebook. Not another one! Think I’ll stick to blogging. It gives Bongo and me something to talk about.

  7. LMBO! It’s the same way with FB Friends!
    I am loving Pinterest……..it’s more than just witty sayings like Flair….cooking, crafts, art, DIY….all the things I think about doing, but rarely actually get around to. But, NOTHING beats blogging. Oh, and I TOTALLY pin my blog posts. It will get you a few hits. =)

  8. Pinterest is just ganking pictures you like from all over the net and sticking them in one spot. Then someone else comes along and looks at it and follows you. There’s no real investment. You can put your pictures up, of course, and in that case it might be rewarding. I am not sure if you can pin other people’s pictures on Pinterest, but if you can, then… man, I am really drunk right now.

  9. Hilarious! Good luck in achieving a ‘Following of Biblical Proportions’. You deserve it! I love your writing 🙂

  10. TheIdiotSpeaketh

    Carrying on as ordered….. and I wasn’t following you…..it’s called S-T-A-L-K-I-N-G……. just so we are clear on that…… 🙂

  11. Well it so happens that you are always going in my direction but ahead of me and doing the things I am interested in, therefore I am always where you are. That’s not following, is it? More like strange coincidences, right? Well at least it WAS until you had to bring it out in the open. So now I am going to actively pursue, I meant follow, you. with a little help from that ‘follow me’ button.

    Keep doing what you are doing!

  1. Pingback: Somebody Spiked My Blog « whatimeant2say

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