I Thought MoviPrep Was a Type of Buttered Popcorn

Reasons I’m Depressed (Composed Yesterday, Pre-Colonoscopy):

I just took the first four doses out of 8 of my “pre-colonoscopy” treatment.  Apparently my anti-depressant medication was one of the first things to evacuate my “No Fly” zone.

I am hungry.  I have fasted for less than 24 hours, and if I hadn’t just taken half my medicine I would have raided the pantry by now.  As it is, I am not going to do that because I. Never. Want. To. Ingest. That. Evil. Liquid. Again.  Which is what my doctor will make me do if I chicken out this time.

I was told the Evil Liquid would taste better if I refrigerated it.  They lied.  And if you want to know who They are, join the club.  You’ll probably laugh, and then you’ll probably think, hmm – he might have something there.

Please pardon this interruption for a disclaimer from our Sponsor:  A colonoscopy is a procedure that has saved many lives and should never be put off just because this particular blogger is too much of a wuss to take her pre-treatment stuff like a man.

Moving on:

Even though I was one of the first people I know to enter my e-mail for the Pottermore Beta site, apparently the e-mail they returned asking me to confirm (why do I need to confirm when I already sent them my e-mail?  Do they think I am that fickle?) got sent to my Junk mail, and I lost my chance to participate.

As of noon yesterday, I had 6 hits on my blog.  That is the lowest ever, including the day of my first post.  And I don’t think the earthquake in Oklahoma, the stupid time change, or the lack of electricity in the Northeast had anything to do with it.

Our living room floor looks like it’s afflicted with a skin disease.

I know I should not be depressed because there are many people who have worse problems than me.  Which makes me more depressed.  Because I’m that selfish.

Rick Perry.

Just so you know, I’m not trying to get any Sympathy Comments here.  I hate sympathy comments.  And no Sympathy Facebook Likes either.  I can tell.  Don’t ask me how.  It’s a gift.

And now, please excuse me while I go swallow another dose of my Evil Liquid.

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Posted on November 8, 2011, in Depression, Doctors, Humor and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 29 Comments.

  1. Interesting definition..

  2. Lmbo…..I feel your pain. My 11 year old has to take those meds each week. Yes, each week. And enemas daily. Totally sucks. That should add plenty to your depression. It always adds to mine. Hope everything came out alright! 😉

  3. It’s past time for me to do it…my husband has gone through it twice. so I like to think he has taken my turn for me. Does it at least jump start your diet?
    As far as blog hits go, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
    When my post is a hit, I think I’m a genius.
    When my post flops, I think there must be something wrong with WordPress.

    • It did jump start my diet for sure!

      I’ll keep the blog advice in mind. Although I think it might be along the lines that when I lose something I’m convinced someone stole it. I’m always more than happy to blame someone else.

  4. I sympathy “liked” your post! Kidding, it was hysterical. Thanks for the plug. Hopefully “they” will also think it’s funny! 🙂

  5. How about empathy? I’ve drunk that stuff, and had that done from both ends, and I do not envy you. I hope everything went well.

  6. southerndreamer

    I grimace in empathy. I always read, but it gets sent to my email, so not sure if that gets counted in your stats.

  7. I had to take that Evil liquid last year. I hope you stuck with it so you don’t have to do it again.

  8. From someone who knows, try mixing the preparation medication with orange crush. It covers up a bit of the evil taste.

    I saw the title of today’s post and said, “Oh no!” out loud. My sincerest sympathies.

  9. Is that the same stuff you have to drink for the gestational diabetes screening while pregnant? I actually did think there was a smigidon of a difference in taste when refrigerated. Crazy, I know! But, I can’t stand drinking liquids like that. I am not looking forward to it. 😦

  10. Can you drink alcohol during the fasting period? If so, the whole experience might be less unpleasant if you’re blackout drunk the entire time. It would also have the added benefit of making your doctor very, very uncomfortable. After all, he/she gave you that Evil Liquid in the first place. Hope this cheers you up. 🙂

    • The mental image definitely cheers me up. But my paperwork clearly stated no alcohol. As well as nothing red or purple. So that kind of nixed the strawberry margaritas, unfortunately.

  11. I hope I was one of the 6 viewers of your blog yesterday. I wouldn’t like to think I was part of the problem!

  12. My boyfriend’s dad has had to get a colonoscopy like every since since he was young cause he had chron’s disease and it’s always fun to hear about the nasty stuff he has to take for it. It won’t last long!

  13. TheIdiotSpeaketh

    Ah…..the dreaded Colonoscopy Prep of Death….. the old “Wet and Wild Rumble in Jungle”….. I hope you are close to drying out now….. Seriously, I hope you get better soon!

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