Can You Spell S-C-R-*-@-E-D?
I’m in trouble.
My Adult Spelling Bee is only a week away, and I haven’t even started studying.
To be fair (to myself), I only found out a week ago what I was supposed to be studying. Until then, I was a little hazy on the details of the entire program, and still wondering if I was supposed to tutor myself with a dictionary or the Kama Sutra. I was kind of thrown by the implications of the word “Adult” in the title.
But, last week, I received an e-mail that seemed to clear that up. Apparently, the words are going to be chosen from a novel called The Whiskey Rebels by David Liss.
The updates I’ve been getting about this Spelling Bee haven’t been completely reliable. The first e-mail announcing the Adult Spelling Bee stated that I should “Make Reservations Now”, an act which I promptly attempted. I was stymied, however, by the receptionist at the hosting organization, who stated that this was not necessary.
The second e-mail also strongly recommended reservations. I called at a different time of day, hoping to talk to a different person, who might be a little bit more qualified to make such important decisions as to whether or not she should write my name down on a piece of paper. Considering I had no idea who I had talked to the first time, I am not sure this plan succeeded. Regardless, I was once again turned away with a pretty authoritative, “Just show up.”
Last week, I got the third e-mail. This e-mail gave more information, but once again ended with the phone number for making reservations. Because I was pretty certain that no one would know I was the Obsessive Compulsive Person With No Life who had called the first two times, I decided to make one more attempt.
“Wow! We just sent out that e-mail!”
“Yep. Just arrived in my in-box. And it says I need to reserve my space.”
“Oh. It does? Well, I’m not in charge of that. But let me just take your name down and I’ll give it to the person in charge.”
Me – “Uh, do you want my name now?”
“Oh, uh sure.”
So, I spelled out my name, making sure they got the “Firepants” part of it correct (people always want to make that two words), and they, I imagine, pretended to write it down.
I swear, if I show up next Friday for this shindig, and they don’t have Mrs. Cap’n Firepants down on their list, I am going to be one unhappy Adult Speller.