I Hope It’s Not Too Late

I seem to have made a typical parental rookie error in the area of friend-choosing with respect to Dimples.

Just about when I started to notice with alarm that she was advancing from the Spend-Time-with-the-Children-of-Mommy’s-Friends phase to the Scare-Your-Mom-with-Your-Newfound-Independence-By-Choosing-Your-Own-Friends-Who-Have-Parents-Mom-Has-Never-Met-Who-Might-Keep-Guns-in-the-House phase, Dimples haphazardly walked into a friendship with a young lady who happens to be a Parent’s Dream.

Well-mannered, calm, and enthusiastic about any activity we suggest, Dimples’ Perfect Friend is a joy to have as a guest.  And Perfect Friend’s parents seem to be as equally happy to have Dimples over to their house.  Or else they have some other reasons yet to be determined for continuously inviting her to spend the night.

It was only after the friendship had been firmly established that I realized my mistake.

“Mom, at Perfect Friend’s house they have an appetizer before dinner.”

“Really?  I didn’t know they took you to Olive Garden last time.”

“No, Mom.  At their house.  The dinner we ate at their house.  It was going to be sushi, but when they found out I didn’t like that, they offered warm bread.”

Uh oh.  Alarm bells start to go off in my head.

And they serve fresh peaches, not the slimy kind you get out of the can.”

So, allow me to pause here before you People start thinking we serve our child Ramen soup and canned fruit every night for dinner.  We do, actually, serve quite a bit of fresh fruit that’s IN SEASON mixed with some canned fruit sometimes that isn’t.  We don’t serve appetizers in our house because Dimples takes 90 minutes to eat every meal, and we just don’t have time in the day to offer her Spinach Artichoke Dip in addition to the main event, plus veggies, plus fruit, plus dessert.  I have, numerous times, offered to  take her to a sushi restaurant for some taste testing and she looks at me like I have sprouted a second head that just happens to look a lot like Wonderbutt.

They DO Say Owners Start to Look Like Their Pets

Speaking of –

And they can leave their shoes anywhere because there isn’t a Wonderbutt to chew them up.”

And that’s when I realized, People, that I should have approached this whole friendship thing a completely different way.  I have been way too overprotective.  A couple of sleepovers at a crack house guarded by a pit bull in the middle of a gang war zone never killed anyone.  At least not anyone who I personally know.  And it might make her appreciate our house once again.  Wonderbutt might have made it look like a war zone, but there aren’t any bullet holes in the windows.  Yet.


Posted on November 28, 2011, in Dimples, Dogs, Family, Humor, Parenting, Relationships, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 32 Comments.

  1. Brilliant! I have a 2 year old, so I am filing this away for later.

  2. And I, on the other hand, am an empty nester. I remember those tricky days of new friends. Good luck.

  3. I get the feeling that Wonderbutt ate your camera just seconds after that photo was taken…. talk about a death stare….. 🙂

  4. When I was a kid having dinner at a friend’s house, the Mom MADE me eat stuff I didn’t like. Man, I was glad to go home where my mother let me be fussy. That might be a good experience for little Dimples.

  5. I don’t want to enter this phase!!! NOOOOO! I am glad Dimples has found Perfect Friend. I say take her, even if her family serves appetizers- who does that?!- instead of the alternative.

  6. Yep, hanging out with some undesirables might make her appreciate her happy home.

    90 minutes to eat? – my boys demolished every meal within minutes (sometimes before I even got it to the table).

  7. Yikes, my kids never found friends like that. My daughter lived on ramen noodles (including Thanksgiving dinner) and my boys had the table manners of rabid dogs.

  8. All you do is tell her once that they’re filling her up on appetizers because they don’t want to share the dessert and are trying to make her too full for cake, and she’ll sing a different tune.

  9. poor old Wonderbutt , he gets blamed for everything!

  10. Hey, I nominated you for the 7 X 7 link award…here’s the link: http://wp.me/p1Cvgh-rk

  11. parents of kids’ prospective friends must be vetted so that you know without a doubt how the teen conversation will go wherein you say, “fine. if it sucks so much here – go live with blah, blah, blah.” and you KNOW they will be reluctant to take you up on that offer. ;o) i am not a child professional – i just play one on my blog. ;o)

    • When I was a kid, that threat was that I would have to go live with my father. Since Firepants and I are still married, that probably wouldn’t work. Maybe I could tell her he’s not really her dad…

  12. Very funny post. Your sentence, “A couple of sleepovers at a crack house guarded by a pit bull in the middle of a gang war zone never killed anyone” is hilarious (given the context of your post) 🙂

  13. My kids are long grown but I remember those days well. Just remember that that new friend is going home and telling her family about the cool dog you have, and peaches that are coated with sweet syrup. I love this post! -Lee

  14. writingandrecovering

    My friends lived in dirty broken down houses and lived off ramen noodles. I don’t think my mom ever experienced this specific thing. Though she was probably worried about my safety every time I went to play.

    • I rest my case. You turned out beautifully, so there’s nothing wrong with less than perfect friends, is there? Come to think of it, my friends were not exactly upper middle class when I was growing up either.

  15. I thought cookies were appetizers!

  16. Did somebody say sushi? Do you think Dimples would take me to her friend’s house next time she goes?

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