Don’t Stand So Close To Me

I am a heathen and a Bad Person.

I mentioned a while ago that I was a bit apprehensive about the upcoming Christmas decorating season.  This will be Wonderbutt’s first Christmas with us, as he came into our household last December 26th.  As a little tyke, he was crated whenever unsupervised, so the tree that was up for the couple of days of overlap last year did not suffer any damage.

However, this year is a different story.  Our family is still debating the appropriate placement of the tree in order to avoid the Wrath of Wonderbutt.  So, unlike most seasons, we did not get all of our decorating done Thanksgiving weekend.

We did break out a few small items in order to start getting into the spirit of things – decorations that could easily be situated far North of Wonderbutt territory.  This light sprinkling of Christmas cheer in odd spots around the house mixed with my apparent disregard for the Reason for the Season probably contributed to MILlie’s confusion the other night.

MILlie, for those of you who just arrived at this party, is an elderly woman who is close to our family.  We were having her over for dinner a few days ago, and she commented, “Oh, I see you got your Nativity scene set up.”

From MILlie’s vantage point, this is what one would see:

As you will no doubt note, this is not a Nativity Scene.  It is our Harry Potter shelf.  Dimples and I are Harry Potter fiends, and we have dedicated this shelf to our collection.  The shelf has been this way since July when we were fortunate enough to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Florida.

Hagrid, Dumbledore, and Harry - The Three Wise Men

In MILlie’s defense, this is the shelf where we usually set up the Nativity.

In MY defense, MILlie was wearing her OLD pair of glasses, the ones that she “hates”, the ones that are the complete wrong prescription – not one of the two new pairs that I took her to the eye doctor and the eyeglass store to get three separate times in order to get the prescription, fit, and balance exactly, precisely correct.

In MILlie’s defense, it’s Christmas time, and I should have a Nativity scene set up first, above all other decorations.

In MY defense, and I realize that this is not a good defense at all, I am still trying to figure out where I want to put it.  Because of Wonderbutt.  And because I don’t want to disturb the Harry Potter shelf.

I know.  That sounds bad, doesn’t it?  It sounds bad, even to me as I’m typing it, that I am reluctant to remove Hogwarts to replace it with the birthplace of the Baby Jesus.

I suppose it would not be a good compromise to place the stable next to Hogwarts, would it?

I just hope, when the lightning strikes me, that it gives me a cute little scar on my forehead like Harry’s.


Posted on December 5, 2011, in Dimples, Dogs, Family, Humor, Relationships, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 32 Comments.

  1. You can easily have the hogwarts coming to visit the Baby Jesus. Jesus wouldn’t mind. Put them all together. Everybody’s welcome.

  2. I’m sorry…but I had to laugh….. We have a relative like that as well. She would have grabbed the Dumbledor figure and would have taken it for one of the three wise men….just like Millie. Just put a small manger in there and she will never know the difference 🙂

  3. Funny i luv it

  4. That is funny! Where are those magic wands you guys got that broke and you had to replace?

  5. Very funny post 🙂 Your line “I am reluctant to remove Hogwarts to replace it with the birthplace of the Baby Jesus” is something I thought I would never ever see in print – surreal!

  6. I think you’re okay as long as you don’t include Voldemort on your shelf.

  7. Wonderbutt and a Christmas Tree do not go together., well they would if Wonderbutt got his way.

    Can you put the tree in a room where Wonderbutt does not go…or up on a table..or strung from the ceiling, now that would be unique!

    Maybe Mrs PIB should have a few kind words of wisdom with this WB…I shouldn’t think Mrs PIB ever did anything like that…

    We shall look forward to some hilarious posts in the next couple of weeks

  8. We agree with NotQuiteOld…put your Nativity with Harry Potter…I don’t think either would mind! BAYL

  9. I think you should create your nativity OUT of HP figures.

  10. I think I might get smote, but the birth of Christ would have been a lot cooler with wizards instead of wise men and farm animals. 😉

  11. Chancy, Mumsy and Crew

    This was funny. We don’t think you are a heathen or bad person at all…you just have decisions to make and you will get it all done. We have confidence in you! Hugs and nose kisses

  12. If it makes you feel any better, I can’t find our nativity scene in the attic, and I really didn’t try too hard.

    I am, however, thinking that I might like some Harry Potter figures in my stocking this year.

    So basically, never come to me for moral guidance. I’ll just make it worse.

  13. I’m with the Idiot. Combine ’em. There, problem solved!

  14. writingandrecovering

    Why would you remove the harry potter stuff for baby jesus?

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