Who Do You Think Pulls the Sleigh?

My sister, Crash, is on the left. When I became Santa (years later), the hardest part of Santa Boot Camp was learning how to descend cardboard chimneys. I learned not to wear such short skirts.

Sometimes my daughter can be extremely smart and devastatingly dense at the same time.  Her Santa Claus reveal is a perfect example.

A few years ago, when Dimples was 6, she started making little comments that hinted at her suspicions of Santa’s true identity.  One night close to Christmas, Cap’n Firepants had to work late.  Dimples and I were eating dinner, and she suddenly blurted out, “Mom, are you Santa Claus?”

Dimples has always been a pretty logical person.  I could have dodged the question, feeling quite comfortable in saying “no” because I actually am not Santa Claus.  I’m Mrs. Cap’n Firepants, and that’s burden enough.  But I knew what she was asking, and I decided to honor the spirit of her question.

“Do you really want to know?” I asked.  Because there is no going back once that question gets an honest answer.  Step over that line and part of your childhood is gone and, quite frankly, part of the parents’ childhood is gone, too.  Because we all live vicariously through the innocent joy and anticipation of our children during the Christmas season.

“Yes,” Dimples responded without hesitation.  Remembering how bummed I was when my mother finally gave me the affirmative answer to my own Santa question, and the betrayal I’ve felt ever since whenever someone insists on giving me T.M.I. on something I preferred to believe was magical, I was still reluctant to eradicate the entire North Pole franchise over a meal of fish sticks and macaroni.  But, unless I was imagining things, Dimples seemed almost hopeful that I would debunk this myth she had barely believed all along.

“I am,” I said.

Her eyes widened, and a big smile slowly widened across her face.

“I knew it!” she said. She wasn’t bragging about solving the mystery. Instead, she acted like I had just confirmed that I had my own super powers.  Like I was the one hopping into a souped up air-surfing vehicle every Christmas Eve with the intention of criminally trespassing a billion times in one night so I could leave behind a few gifts the elves had bought online from Walmart.

“This is so cool!” she exclaimed.

She couldn’t contain herself, leaping off her chair and giving me a hug (a rare demonstration from Dimples, who usually offers her back to you when you try to show too much affection) – apparently noticing that I was taking this news a whole lot harder than she was.

After a few minutes of one-sided celebration, she suddenly stopped, and looked up at me with a very earnest expression on her sweet face.

“Does Daddy know?”


Posted on December 15, 2011, in Cap'n Firepants, Children, Dimples, Family, Humor, Parenting, Sisters and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 57 Comments.

  1. My god this was perfect!! I can’t imagine the look on your face….wow! So kid typical!! You are a lucky gal!

  2. Wow, you really are Santa! Amazing, and very clever to disguise yourself as Mrs. Cap’n Firepants (though that also has a super hero ring to it) 🙂

    Great post Santa, keep them coming!

    P.S. Don’t wear a short skirt when you deliver the gifts or you will get a cold bottom 🙂

  3. I wonder what Cap’n Firepants thought when you disappeared for a few hours every Christmas Eve.

  4. Oh Adorable! You made my day!

  5. I cannot stop laughing. This is perfect.

  6. Chancy, Mumsy and Crew

    I just loved this! Kids are just so adorable and can surprise you with what they can say so many times. Hugs and nose kisses

  7. That is such a funny story! I’ll have to share this one with my family. Merry Christmas! 🙂

  8. Wow, your answer is very right! The slight misunderstanding made Dimples happier!!! 🙂

  9. Classic!

    By the way did you get my Christmas list….Santa???

  10. Oh, so cute! Nice work, Santa! 🙂

  11. writingandrecovering

    That is adorable!

  12. Oh Dog! I had no idea! Where do you hide all the mail?

  13. OMG, this is awesome! What a super power to have!

  14. Classic! How did you ever come back from THAT!?

  15. That’s pretty cool. 🙂

    Dimples sounds like an awesome kid!

  16. I think my son and your daughter would get along very well. They sound so much alike! So funny. That’s the thing about kids. You never know exactly along what lines they’re thinking.

  17. Reblogged this on whatimeant2say and commented:

    I don’t know what I’m doing. I am a very techie person, but I usually don’t reblog my own posts. I tried to “Copy a Post”, and I kept getting a new post page, which was blank so I didn’t really think it was worth copying. Anyway, I think I only have 3 followers left who were with me the first time I posted this, and I am having a bit of difficulty being humorous at the moment. Oh, and just so you parents of little ones know, once THEY know, the pressure around this time of year is not reduced – just more directly inflicted. I suppose I could keep typing, and make this reblog completely unnecessary because you will have lost interest – kind of like filibustering my own blog – but I apparently have to hit the “Reblog Post” button for anything to happen. So, I guess I’ll do that now. Enjoy…

  18. I LOVE Santa! So I love you!! How fun! I wish I was Rudolph, but I’m afraid of deer, and sleds, and snow, and mechanical toys, and the dark and…..

    Love and licks,

  19. I loved it!
    Her question was fantastic “Does Daddy know?”
    Loved it, brilliant story.

  20. Oh that is such a fantastic story!

  21. OMG. best. santa. story. ever.

  22. Now I think your daughter rocks even more!

  23. This is one of my favorites! I think this was about the time that I first started following you. 🙂 Seriously, Dimples is my favorite!! Wishing the Firepants clan a very Merry Christmas!

  24. I was just thinking of this story the other day and wishing I had Dimples, or at least her wonderfully awesome adoration of you as Santa. I remember how horrible the experience was when I had to ‘fess up to Jimmy and he burst out crying because I lied 😦 . Tony is still a staunch believer. Jim says we should tell him. How selfish am I that I just don’t want to?

  25. Okay…that was so fricking sweet it made my teeth ache. Which is hard to do…especially this time of year.

    Did you get my list yet?

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