I’m Sexy – And I Blow It

“So-o-o, how do you feel today?”

These are not the words you want to hear from your husband the morning after your husband’s Christmas party at which you may have had a teensy weensy bit of alcohol to drink.

FYI, I felt fine.  No hangover at all.  And I remember the whole evening.  So, I was not as tipsy as he seemed to think.  But that really doesn’t matter if that’s what he thought.  Actions speak louder than Blood Alcohol Level.

Apparently, Cap’n Firepants thinks I’m a lot of fun when I have a couple of drinks, but a little worrisome once I cross the line from slightly intoxicated to much less inhibited.

But, let’s start at the beginning.

As regular readers are aware, my biggest concern about the party was my hair.  San Antonio has had unseasonable wet and sticky weather for over a week now, and I was experimenting each day before the party to determine a do that would do for the Big Do.  This was very productive, as I learned all of the What Not to Hair do’s.  In an act of desperation, I did one more test run on the morning of the party, thinking I could just touch it up that evening.  When it looked even more disastrous than it had all week (and that’s saying a lot), I plunged my head under the bathroom faucet and drenched my hair.  Then I put every hair care product known to man woman on my follicles, dried this now quite flammable science experiment with my hair dryer, and set to work to do a combination of flat iron and curling iron at the same time.

It looked GREAT!  I couldn’t believe it, and what’s worse is that I probably can never repeat it.  But I had conquered my biggest obstacle and now it was ON!

This is kind of how my hair looked. Except not that color. And not parted in the middle. And that's not my face, either, in case you haven't guessed.

I met Cap’n Firepants at the hotel where the shindig was being held.  He had arrived earlier to play golf.  He liked my hair, and REALLY liked my dress and shoes.  I felt like a million bucks.

We met everyone at the bar before dinner, and played shuffleboard.  I kept to my mental promise of drinking a soft drink or two between each glass of wine.  By the time it was dinner time, I had two glasses of wine and about 10 glasses of Diet Coke.

At dinner, the waiter kept refilling my wine glass when I wasn’t looking.  I’m pretty sure the rest of the evening can all be blamed on him.  Except for maybe the part when I noticed that Cap’n Firepants hadn’t finished his wine and I drained that, too.

After dinner, we all went back to the bar.  And this is apparently when I embarrassed Cap’n Firepants.  He does not like it when strange men start talking to me and I continue the conversation.  Even if we are just talking about the weather or why the Strange Man is visiting San Antonio.

It’s not my fault Strange Man was close to falling off his bar stool.  But, apparently I’m not supposed to encourage such behavior.

Strangely enough, I just posted yesterday about how I regret that I don’t thank strangers enough.  I guess I decided to remedy this by being a little TOO kind to strangers instead.  Apparently with me it’s one extreme or another.

Anyway, when I asked Cap’n Firepants how exactly I had embarrassed him, that was the most he could come up with.  So, I think this will probably not go down on the Most Embarrassing Moments at Office Christmas Parties website – if there is such a thing.

The important thing is that my hair looked great.

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Posted on December 19, 2011, in Cap'n Firepants, Family, Humor, Relationships and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 31 Comments.

  1. Ohhh loved this post haha.. 😀

    Great hair, makes a girl feel like a billion dollars – THE END. 😉 Its just really important, and I know just how you feel… I hate doing my hair, cause sometimes, its just impossible to make it right… *Sigh*

    A like and a follow from me. 🙂
    Mia from Denmark.

  2. Great hair makes it all worthwhile! You couldn’t help it if your stunning gorgeousness knocked Strange Man off his bar stool. Cap’n Firepants should be proud to have such a hot wife. 🙂

  3. Ok, I have absolutely no interest in your hair- good or bad. I do, however, need to know how Cap’ n Firepants got his name. Please!

  4. Another Great post! Very nice job

  5. You are so hilarious! Not sure about the title of your post?

    • There is a popular song on the airwaves right now called, “I’m Sexy and I Know It”, pretty much making fun of a guy who thinks he’s all that. So, I’m making fun of myself for thinking I was all that, and blowing it by making a fool out of myself (at least, according to the Cap’n). Plus, it’s kind of a pun on blow-drying my flammable hair.

  6. With hair like that, how could any stranger pass you by?

  7. Great finish to the post about all of your hair experiments.

  8. It’s just another one of your super powers, knocking strangers off their chairs.

  9. I am still laughing from reading “I put every hair care product known to man woman on my follicles, dried this now quite flammable science experiment with my hair dryer”. 🙂

  10. lol my partner always leaves it to the car on the way home to tell me what gaffes I managed to do during the evening – similar to your husband!
    i’m glad your hair worked out! living in Australia, I know how bad humidity can be for people’s ‘do!

  11. Great hair! Priorities, priorities, priorities…I say that because, I too, fall prey to this same priority! When your hair looks good…all’s right with the world!

  12. If you ever unlock the secret of taming crazy hair again, write it down let me know. I’ve got a shock of crazy thick black hair. It knows no master, breaks clippers and my only solution is to keep it very, very short. Please help. 😦

    • O.K. Don’t quote me on this – try Frizz-Ease, then a curling mousse. Add some smoothing serum, and then some humidity spray. Top it off with a few dollops of shaving cream, and you’re good to go. Or something like that.

  13. Personally I think that if you feel good about your hair, you can be wearing a sack a still look good.

    From the sound of it you had a great time

  14. Your hair always looks like that!

  15. Hilarious and totally relatable 😀 x

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