Incident Reported at the Firepants Household

Incident report for Case#2011-50075

Incident Type – Damage to Property

Incident Date – approx. between 12/17/11 and 12/19/11

Address – Somewhere in the middle of San Antonio, TX

Victim(s) – Female, age It’s-None-of-Your-Business

Details – The female who looks remarkably young for her age (which is not that old, really) opened the drawer beneath the stove to find that her oven glove had been violated.  See evidence below. (Warning – the following photo is graphic.)

Disemboweled Oven Mitt

The following residents of the household are suspects in the incident.

Suspect #1 (AKA Dimples) - claims to have no knowledge of the incident. Motive might be that she has no hands and dislikes any reminders of this.

Suspect #2 (AKA Mrs. P.I.B.) - Has a guilty face. Motive - Trying to frame Suspect #3.

Suspect #3 (AKA Wonderbutt) - Known to chew everything in his reach. Motive - Known to chew everything in his reach.

The remarkably young-looking crime victim decided to consult the famous Cap’n Firepants for his expert analysis of the case.  Cap’n Firepants had but one question, “Did you say the drawer was closed when you found the oven mitt?”  The victim nodded in the affirmative, and Cap’n Firepants gravely informed her of one more suspect who must be given consideration.  “Indeed, this suspect must be placed above all others based on the evidence,” he assured her.

Suspect #4 (AKA Random Mouse) - the one suspect with the Means to commit the crime. Motive - to bring stuffing back to his nest. And to ruin Mrs. Cap'n Firepants' sleep for the rest of her life.

We will continue to investigate.  This case is NOT closed.  Even though the drawer was.


Posted on December 22, 2011, in Cap'n Firepants, Children, Dimples, Dogs, Family, Humor, Mrs. P.I.B., Uncategorized, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 35 Comments.

  1. Call an exterminator immediately. Like, what are you waiting for? Go! NOW!

  2. Suspect #4 is entirely too cute to be the perpetrator of this heinous crime.
    And everyone knows “Dimples” has been shaking down the oven mitts for food samples (no hands, can’t cook) up and down both coasts.
    She could have used her chin to close the drawer. She must have an incredible sense of smell since she has no eyes. Oh wait, no nose either…Never mind, gotta be the mouse.

  3. Coulda been Santa if the mitt was red!

  4. oh no… mice. I hate mice. Get yourself some mousetraps and start laying them immediately. just… keep the dogs out of the kitchen while the traps are set 😛

  5. writingandrecovering

    Love the post, dislike the mouse.

  6. Darn. Why do mice have to be so cute, but prone to wreak destruction and spread disease?

  7. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll bet you really liked sleep too.

  8. Apparently a creature was stirring and it was a mouse.
    Well at least Dimples, Ms PIB and Wonderbutt are still on the nice list.

  9. What a lovely mouse..Is that his name ..Random?

    He looks so sweet and innocent. I am happy that he lives in your house and not mine…maybe he is a field mouse..come in from the cold.
    Have pity..she could have babies somewhere that need to be kept warm. I feel sure that sooner or later she will bring her family to visit.

    That will be nice…lay on a banquet!

  10. Funny stuff!

  11. LOL! WE love your blog. The Collies suspect it is suspect #4 and Tigger the Cat offers her services to bring justice to this culprit! 😛

    Keep up the great posts!

    God Bless You!

    Chuck and the Collies 🙂

  12. If there is one mouse, there will be more – trust me – not cute!

  13. What a cute little mouse! We had one under our oven and lured him out with tampons. Seriously. He loved playing with them 🙂

  14. If it is the mouse there will be more evidence.

  15. Hahahahaha! Sounds like a case for CSI 🙂

  16. Hmm… That mouse looks like he’s hiding something. 🙂

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