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I just got the best Christmas present ever! Jennifer Aniston was named the sexiest woman alive by Men’s Health Magazine.
According to the Hollywood Reporter: “But what really makes this honor culturally interesting is that Aniston is over 40, otherwise known as way past the expiration date on the shelf life of female sexual appeal, especially in age-conscious Hollywood. Such sexiest woman titles are usually reserved for young nubile 20ish actresses.”
Seriously, do I need to walk you through this?
Jennifer is no longer nubile and 20ish. Neither am I.
Jennifer is almost 43 (in February). I AM 43!!!!!!
Jennifer does not get along with her mother. Neither do I.
Jennifer got married to Brad Pitt on the same exact day I married Cap’n Firepants – same day, same month, same year.
We both have FRIENDS!
Got it? Logic dictates that if Jennifer Aniston, who claims she has had no beauty injections, and works out as many times a week as I do (give or take a few days), is the Sexiest Woman Alive, then so am I.
I sense your reluctance to accept this course of thought. I lost you on the marriage part, didn’t I? I know; she and Brad got divorced. The Cap’n and I are still going strong. There is a slight disparity there.
Fine. You’re right. We have absolutely nothing in common. Thank you for clarifying that. You may move on to your next blog now.
But I tell you this. If you had the choice between being declared the Sexiest Woman Alive OR being Mrs. Cap’n Firepants, mother of Dimples, roommate of Mrs. P.I.B., and the recipient of Wonderbutt’s adoring snores and gas clouds every evening, I think we all know what you would choose.
Merry Christmas to me.
Posted on December 27, 2011, in Cap'n Firepants, Dimples, Dogs, Family, Humor, Mrs. P.I.B., Wonderbutt and tagged humor, Jennifer Aniston, Men's Health, Sexiest Woman. Bookmark the permalink. 27 Comments.