And With Also You

Temple of the Jedi Order

I am considering becoming a Jedi Knight.

I’ve checked out the Temple of the Jedi Order, and it appears to reflect most of my religious beliefs.  I am a little hesitant, however, in committing myself to a religious order in which none of the council members have last names, and one of them is named War Beauty.

You might ask what inspired me to consider this life-changing decision.  I can’t really pinpoint the origin, but I think there may have been several factors.

#1 – The Catholic Church changed some of the wording in the mass.  This makes it very hard for me to think about my grocery list while I am mindlessly repeating responses I’ve spoken for 40 years.  If I become a Jedi Knight, then I can say some of the cool lines I’ve memorized from the Star Wars movies instead.

#2 – While I was standing against the wall between Stations of the Cross #4 and #5 at the Christmas mass that was apparently attended by every breathing person in San Antonio, I began to question how my spirituality was being enhanced by trying not to faint as I watched a little boy in the last pew practicing his Star Trek Vulcan hand shake.

#3 – I heard a story on the radio claiming that there has been a rise in people listing Jedi Knight as their religion on censuses being taken in other countries.  Which means it’s not a trend yet in this country.  I LOVE to be a trend-setter.

#4 – The Jedi Creed happens to be a variation of the Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi, who just happens to be my favorite saint.  Because he always has animals surrounding him in his statues.

#5 – They apparently have two Corporate addresses – one in the United Kingdom, and one in Texas – the state in which I happen to reside.  That can NOT be a coincidence.

#6 – I will not have to be in a mixed marriage because my husband already worships Star Wars.

#7 – It will sound so cool when I run for political office to state in my ads that “I….Am a Jedi Knight.”

I have not applied for membership, yet, as I still have a few questions.  My biggest one does not appear to have been answered on the Temple of the Jedi site, so I had to look elsewhere.  The results were less than satisfactory.  You see, one of the recent changes in the Catholic Church has been to modify the standard response to the statement, “The Lord be with you.” Formerly, the response was, “And also with you” but is now, “And with your spirit.”

I can’t get it right.  I either say the old one, very loudly and wrongly, or I say something to do with the Spirit that is far more complicated than the actual response:

“And with the Spirit of St. Louis.”

“Goin’ up to the Spirit in the Sky.  That’s where I’m gonna go when I die.”

“We’ve got Spirit.  How ‘bout you?  We’ve got Spirit, yes we do.”

My brain is apparently not equipped to remember the Vatican’s version.

So, I thought I better check the response to, “May the Force be with you.”

Apparently, this is a point of confusion for the Jedi.

So, I’m putting a hold on my membership until this little detail gets resolved.  After all, I don’t want to jump out of the frying pan into the Fires of Hell.

Advertisements

Posted on December 28, 2011, in Humor, Memory Loss, Politics and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 41 Comments.

  1. Since this is a post expressely about religion, I don;t mind commenting with this here.
    Have you considered Pastafarianism?
    http://www.venganza.org/about/

    Every Friday is a holiday, and we also get to dress like pirates!
    Just something to consider…

    May you be touched by his noodley appendage.

  2. We know the changes have brought a lot of challenges to the Catholic Church. Our friends have struggled greatly with all of them. We know members who refuse to change and loudly say the old replies! 🙂 LOL

    Perhaps when you receive the bread and whine you can reply “The force be with you Father!” hehehehe

    Okay, its all tongue in cheek. Change is hard and it is good to see you having a sense of humor about it all. Of our friends some have changed, others refuse to change others have left.

    We’ll pray for you during this time and know we ask for Jesus to bless you and perhaps give you a special Jedi sword too! 😛

    God Bless you and wonderful blog!

    Chuck and the Collies 🙂

  3. The closet Catholic in me loves St. Francis of Assisi. Sarah McLachlan set the prayer to music beautifully. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69ni2wnE3Pc

    May the [fill-in-the-blank] be with you!

  4. I’m not Catholic, but my Mom always said that Star Wars really did kind of tell the story of Jesus. Of course she also said that about a few other movies.

    Anyway, one thing I know for sure…the Jedi Temple must have a lot of very devoted followers. They probably wait in line for a few days before each new service release, like they do for the movie releases. The force is strong with those ones. 😉

  5. I have visited the cathedral in Assisi, Italy, and it was truly stunning; the inside is painted with murals in a zillion colours and the whole place just feels full of love.

    I say join up with the Jedis. Imagine the pun potential!

  6. St Francis was a Jedi. And his favorite animal was a bulldog. And he didn’t even mind a fart once in a while. That made him a saint.

  7. when you become a jedi knight and run for political office can you then have a bunch of commercials with a bunch of other jedi knights where they are ex-cons, blacks, tatooed, divorced, etc, etc, and then after we learn all about their lives in the 10 second commercial at the end have them say, “And I am a Jedi Knight.”??? because THAT would be awesome.

  8. I had to check out the link and what I want to know is – what happened to the “former members?”

  9. Hilarious 🙂 You have written many fantastic posts this year but I feel that this is the funniest – an absolute gem! I shall re-read this many times!

    P.S. Is Wonderbutt eligible to join the Jedi Order?

  10. Sounds like a really cool religion. You might want to check and see if there are any Sith Lords in your neighborhood; you don’t want to get mixed up in that war… sheesh. 😉

  11. That’s hilarious! Be sure to use the force. Or forks if you have no force nearby.

  12. Joining a new order is always exciting. I’d vote for you.

  13. My daughter is making her First Communion this year, and we are all totaly confused about what to do in church these days. Great timing.

  14. I love this post. I had never thought about becoming a Jedi Knight, but I’ll definitely take it under consideration. You make some very good arguments. I got a Lego Darth Vader key chain for Christmas – perhaps an omen?

  15. Well….interesting article I must say. What was the result? Did you decide to join?

    I laughed a little when you mentioned your hesitation at joining an order where none of the council have last names, and one was named War Beauty. You see…I AM War Beauty. And my last name is Cartwright. But you can just call me Perris. War Beauty is in reference to the fact that I was a Marine at the time, and a female and a warrior. But no worries, this made me smile 🙂

    Check us out again if you’re still unsure! And leave War Beauty a message! I’m a lot nicer than my name suggests.

    • It is so nice to hear from you, Perris! I absolutely adore the name War Beauty. Great choice! And I want to thank you for your service to our country!
      Alas, I have not joined the order – mostly because I am too lazy to join anything that would require any kind of effort on my part. Plus, you took the best name, and I can’t think of any more! 😉

  1. Pingback: Help! « whatimeant2say

  2. Pingback: Announcing the Next President of the USA. | Hobbling Around

  3. Pingback: I Got Dirty At Church « Voicesinmybrain

  4. Pingback: “Do or Do Not; There is No Try” « whatimeant2say

  5. Pingback: Have I gone too far? | Hobbling Around

  6. Pingback: Holy Sith! « whatimeant2say

  7. Pingback: WhatIMeant2Say Spring Membership Drive « whatimeant2say

  8. Pingback: Speaking of porn… « I probably shouldn't have said that…

  9. Pingback: Have I gone too far? « I probably shouldn't have said that…

  10. Pingback: The Teachings of Mrs. Cap’n Firepants « whatimeant2say

  11. Pingback: whatimeant2invent #4 « whatimeant2say

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: