January’s Dead Rubber Post
Well, I think that this is the longest I have lasted, People. I tried to hold out for at least a week past the start of the month, and I have succeeded.
For any newbies or highly forgetful readers, please allow me to explain. I have a monthly “Dead Rubber” post, which is, basically, one into which I have put less effort than usual. “Dead Rubber” is, apparently, slang for “boring.” I forget my source for that little gem. Maybe I made it up. I am sure some of you can think of more colorful definitions, and you are welcome to them, as the entertainment is completely up to you today, I am afraid.
“No tag backs,” one of my students yelled as he tagged another at recess.
“No tag backs,” the next student yelled as he tagged the closest victim.
This went on for fifteen minutes.
I don’t know if this is regional or generational, but when I was a kid we had no such proclamations when we played tag. It was just understood you couldn’t simply tap the person who had tapped you half a second before.
So, I asked, “Hey guys, why do you have to keep saying that? Can’t it just be the rule you establish at the beginning of the game? For example, ‘Hey everyone – during this game of tag, there will be no tagging of the person who just tagged you.’ ”
They looked at me open-mouthed. Not the open-mouthed in awe kind of way. The open-mouthed, what the heck is this crazy lady saying kind of way. For some reason, my idea is not considered good. In fact, it’s not even considered. It’s immediately dismissed as another wildly impossible request from their somewhat unbalanced teacher, and everything is back to normal the next recess.
During which I start thinking about the implications of a generation of “No Tag Backs” kids growing into adulthood and attempting to lead our nation some day in the future. What if we could just invade a country and say, “Sorry, no tag backs. You’ll just have to find someone else to pillage and plunder instead.”
And, if someone attacks us, and forgets to say those three vital words, we can pummel the heck out them, and then yell, “No tag backs!” as we retreat.
By the way, Infinity No Tag Backs to anyone who wants to try this game with me. Now I’m covered. I can strike with no fear of retaliation. I should run for President.