The Night Before I Almost Died
In retrospect, the following events may have possibly contributed to my near-death experience the next morning.
“You’re going to have to sleep on the couch tonight, Mom,” Dimples informed me the other day when I picked her up from school.
“Oh really?” I responded, a bit sarcastically. Considering her comment was a line I would normally hear from Cap’n Firepants, my husband, it was a little disconcerting to hear it from my 9 year old daughter instead. Particularly since, as far as I knew, I had not recently committed any transgressions deserving of this punishment – at least none that she would know about.
“It’s supposed to rain,” she sagely predicted. And now it all made sense. Maybe not to you, yet. But it did to me. Although I refused to share in her pessimism. Or optimism – depending on whose glass with water that is not up to the brim we are staring at.
“We’ll see.”
I informed Cap’n Firepants of the Forecast According to Dimples when he got home from work. He did not seem impressed.
The night passed normally – until about 3 A.M.
Wonderbutt, our bulldog, woke us up. He was barking outside in his pen. This is what he does when he wants our attention, since we have a baby gate that blocks him from The Forbidden Section of bedrooms.
Once Wonderbutt woke us up, I could clearly hear the sound of Mrs. P.I.B., our 10 year old golden retriever, frantically whining out in the hallway right next to our door.
Where she shouldn’t have been because of said baby gate.
And then the crash of thunder.
Cap’n Firepants sat up, and I groaned.
“I HATE IT when she’s right,” I said, as I got up.
I opened the bedroom door, and Mrs. P.I.B. swept past me, panting as though her life depended on it.
Out in the hall, Wonderbutt had returned from outside, and was seated on the other side of the overturned gate, waiting patiently for me to come out and keep him company.
Mrs. P.I.B. cannot sleep through a storm unless she is in our bedroom. Wonderbutt cannot sleep in our bedroom because he A. Snores, and 2. eats everything. This is normally not a problem, but he apparently does not care for being the only one on the Other Side of the Gate. So, I am the Designated Defender, who gets to keep him company on stormy nights.
We settle onto the couch with an old comforter. He snuggles up, and is soon asleep, though we both jump a few times during enormous thunder crashes.
About an hour later, the storm has gotten quieter. But Wonderbutt has gotten louder. His snores are less surprising than the thunder but just as disturbing. I finally work my way out from under him, and stumble to the guest bedroom – the closest room to the Border that Must Not be Crossed.
About 20 minutes, I hear Wonderbutt whining very close to my door. He has realized I abandoned him, and does not care to be alone.
I get up and look out the door.
He has carried the entire King Size comforter to the Border in order to register his protest – or communicate his loneliness; I am not sure which.
I get back on the couch.
An hour later, after a few dozing off periods broken by Stupendous Snores, I squint to see the miraculously still-working cable box time, and realize that I must get up.
I go back to the bedroom to get ready for work.
Dimples is soundly sleeping in my spot on the bed.
It turns out she is an optimist after all.
Posted on January 27, 2012, in Cap'n Firepants, Children, Dimples, Dogs, Family, Humor, Mrs. P.I.B., Parenting, Phobia, Wonderbutt and tagged bulldog, Dimples, humor, Mrs. P.I.B., sleep, snoring, thunderstorm, wonderbutt. Bookmark the permalink. 28 Comments.
I would check under Dimples bed for weather control gear.
Sounds a little too tidy a set up…
I absolutely agree with you. That was just a little too perfect!
I’ve had to do several reenactments of Bongo’s escapades too. He can never figure out why I’m trying to get him to do something I normally yell at him for doing.
Our poor dogs! They must really think we’re crazy.
Thunder can be so terrible when you are so small..You have WB and Mrs PIB .
Also Bongo’s people only have him…just imagine our house with five dogs who are all scared of thunder and lightening and badly need to get under bed, on bed, and anywhere else that there is to hide, all trying to get to wherever first , yapping, squealing and shivering…
Only the cat and Guido couldn’t care less but poor deaf Guido joins in anyway just in case there may be food at the end of it.
As dog owners, if truth be told, we are not always dog lovers especially in the early hours..but would we be without them ?
NO!
I don’t think WB is actually afraid of the thunder – he just doesn’t like to be alone. Although I think we were all a little scared that night because it was so darn loud!
Awww, that is so cute.
It’s hard to resist such a sweet face at 4 AM.
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That is cute if not annoying. My dog used to run around frantically through the house whenever there was a thunder storm and we would end up sleeping on the couch with her. My cat just sleeps through it.
I wonder if there have been scientific studies done on why cats don’t care about storms.
Very sweet – well obviously not for you, but for everybody else involved 😀
Yes, the musical beds seem to be an advantage for everyone but me!
I think it’s adorable that he dragged the entire comforter with him. Look at that sweet face!
He is hard to say no to when he looks at me like that. Actually, he’s pretty hard to say no to at any time.
Such a kind soul you are!
It’s not entirely unselfish. I do enjoy cuddling with Wonderbutt – until he starts snoring and passing gas.
Wonderbutt’s underbite cracks me up every time I see it.
My local farm and pet supply mart has a vest called a Thundershirt for dogs. It’s supposed to somehow completely settle them down so they can cope with the weather. It may be worth looking into for your little bunch.
We’re still in blizzard season, so no thunder/lightning here for a few months yet.
I have thought about getting the Thundershirt for Mrs. P.I.B., but our storms are so few and far between that I end up forgetting how miserable I am when she is miserable.
I’m so dumb.
When I started reading this I thought it was going to be a post about you having to comfort Dimples during the night.
Dimples is much more self-sufficient than Wonderbutt.
She called it like she saw it. I should have called you- since we were both up. 🙂
Now we know. We can text each other next time!
Thunder and dogs…not matter the size they tend to become tiny whimpering puppies. My Dante growls at every clap of thunder and then whines…growl/whine, growl/whine…headache time!
Dante would make a good storm fighter. He is so brave!
Hi!
We have some collies who sleep through it all and dont care.. others are terrified!!! We know what you go through…. But, they would do anything for us.. 🙂 Your one great human the collies think for being with Wonderbutt through the storm!
Your friends,
The Collies and Chuck 🙂
I can imagine the chaos that must ensue when storms threaten in your neck of the woods! But, you are right. They do so much for us – it is the least we can do for them!
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