Open in Case of Emergency

Not to belabor the point, but I almost died the other day.

Just like Ross on Friends when he is “saved” by Joey from a gunshot that turns out to have been a car backfiring, I feel the need to reflect.

And I have realized that, if I had died, or been seriously injured, I would have been up, well, you know, that creek that everyone goes up when they are in trouble that is apparently the color of mud.

I have neglected to make some Arrangements.  And that could be disastrous.

If something happens to me, who will post my blog?!!!!

I made a commitment (I think it was just a mental one, but don’t quote me on that) that I would publish a post each day.  My fan base is growing exponentially (1 is an exponent, right?) and I can’t stand the thought of disappointing my readers.

Being a teacher, I realized that I need to prepare what is essential to every teacher’s toolbox – the Substitute Folder.

Just because I survived my unplanned trip across three lanes of highway – avoiding concrete barriers, dozens of other cars, and miraculously not flipping over – does not mean I will have the same good fortune next time.

So, someone else might have to pinch hit.  And I need to give this person the tools to do that.  Of course, I can’t give him/her the tools I would use myself – because I don’t want anyone else to realize that this Substitute is better than me.  So, I will give my surrogate what is known in the business as “Busy Work.”

Here is my plan:

First, I must designate a Substitute.  I have decided that my friend Emily will fit the bill nicely.  She is an experienced blogger AND she is not the type who will flaunt her fabulous writing skills in an attempt to hijack my magnificently successful blog.

Next, I must create a bunch of suggested topics that Emily can use as jumping off points for her short, slightly amusing, fill-ins while I am recovering from whatever tragedy has befallen me.  You know, mildly entertaining, informative posts about things like climate change and the benefits of exercise.

Third, I must fill Cap’n Firepants in on this plan so that he can begin its execution upon my injury/death/kidnapping by aliens, etc…  He will have to inform Emily and reveal to her my secret, superduper blogging passwords.

Fifth, I should probably ask Emily if she is willing to do this.

I guess that might need to be first.  Hey Em, uh, are you okay with this?

And last, if, indeed, the worst happens…

Well, if you guys like Emily better than me I’ll just have to figure out a way to hijack HER blog.

Wonderbutt has volunteered to step in if Emily declines.


Posted on January 28, 2012, in Blogging, Cap'n Firepants, Death, Family, Humor, Wonderbutt, Writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 21 Comments.

  1. Now THAT’S what I call dedication! Bravo.

    I wished every blog I read had such a great fall back plan established. I mean seriously where would I be during my insomniac phases without your words of wisdom to guide me 😉

  2. I thought Wonderbutt would take over? Once you got him a chew and slobber proof keyboard, of course…

    • He would like to take over, of course. But he might be so distraught about my illness, demise, hostage situation, etc… that it would be difficult for him to focus. Or he might just be too busy chewing on the furniture.

  3. Awesome back up plan. Except no one could ever replace you! I’ve thought about one for myself, but I figure my cat can walk across the keyboard a few times and that should be good enough.

  4. Loved the Friends reference! And I’m sure Wonderbutt will make a fantastic substitute substitute. You gave me an idea for a new reality show – Trading Blog Sites!

  5. WB will be the most talented , wonderful, blubbering blogger that there ever was…give the lad a chance!

  6. I have left my blog to Wonderbutt in my will…. 🙂

  7. Hows bout you give one or two Blog Prompts to each of your loyal readers and we will all fill in if needed?!?! Not that we could possibly go on without you, but it’s just a suggestion!

  8. No one…not even Emily can replace you but I love GingerSnaap’s idea…all your readers could contribute one sentence! It sounded better in my mind…sorry!

  9. Nope you are irreplaceable! You are such a good writer and I wish I was the Emily you were referring to. I have always dreamed of being an author but have never even given it a chance like you are now. I got sick and behind, but now I am excited to get to catch up on some good reading. 🙂

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