Wonderbutt vs. The Box
Disclaimer: It stormed ALL last night. Between worrying that the Idiot was blowing up the world a few hours away from me, and trying to sleep on the couch for 8 hours with my snoring, gas-passing bulldog, Wonderbutt, I spent a small percentage of the evening with my eyes closed. Whatiamtrying2say is that this post may not be my best work since I am somewhat sleep-deprived.
It’s been awhile since we have bestowed the coveted P.A.W. award, so I was intrigued by the following video collection that I recently spotted on CNN: Bulldogs vs. Boxes. When I noted that the first bulldog bore a striking resemblance to Wonderbutt, I thought that I might should change my whole outlook on dog toys. (“Might should” is a perfectly valid grammatical phrase here in Texas. Even though I’m not a native, I’m trying to pepper my speech with some more multi-tasking word groups. You might should try it.)
Anyway, I figured that I’ve been spending far too much money trying to find entertaining toys for Wonderbutt. Obviously, as the CNN set of videos seems to show, I can step into the garage and find a plethora of perfectly amusing dog toys that cost nothing.
Eager to test out this new idea, I plundered the garage for a few good cardboard containers. Cap’n Firepants wasn’t home, so it is possible that I might have chosen some packaging for which he had other plans. Probably, the perfect box that had a bunch of stuff in it which I dumped on the garage floor would not have been one of the ones the Cap’n would have selected for this experiment. Perhaps he won’t notice. At least, hopefully, not until after Valentines’ Day.
After carefully selecting Wonderbutt’s new toys, I got the video camera ready so as not to miss a moment of any television-worthy footage.
I am sorry to say that boxes will not be the next recipient of the P.A.W. award. They are sadly lacking in the durability criteria.
There were a few seconds with the box during which I thought we might have a winner. Wonderbutt seemed to delight in scooting the shoe box across the floor in some kind of poor boy’s imitation of chasing the ball his mother couldn’t afford to buy him because she needed to put food on the table. But Wonderbutt’s enjoyment was short-lived once he figured out how to open the box back up and start ripping out the sides. In some kind of poor boy’s imitation of eating the food his mother couldn’t afford to buy to put on the table.
A few things I should make clear: I do feed the dog (which should be apparent if you look at his rotundness), I do buy him actual toys, and our floor looks like it has a skin condition because we pulled up the carpeting and are planning to get stained concrete.
I am sorry to disappoint you that I will not be announcing a new P.A.W. Award recipient today. You might should keep reading for another week or two if this is a Matter of Great Importance.