Wonderbutt’s Acceptance Speech
In yesterday’s historic post, I mentioned that Wonderbutt had received an award from GingerSnaap at Ohmygawdjustdowhatisay. Her exact words, in presenting him with the Glitter E. Yaynus Award, were: “What I Meant 2 Say– This is not for Mrs. Firepants, this is specifically for WonderButt- her Bull Dog. WonderYanus.”
As promised, I communicated the requirements of acceptance to Wonderbutt, which are the following:
1.Name 5 things you would stick up your Junk Trunk if you were forced to. 2. Tell at least 5 things you do that would make people want to kill you or, at the very least Hate you for the rest of their lives. 3. Blindfold yourself & walk out into traffic on the Highway. 4. Pick 5 Bloggers to BULLY with this (a-hem) ‘Award’.
Here are Wonderbutt’s responses:
1. What’s a Junk Trunk? Is that the basket you keep my toys in? The one you put on a shelf so I can’t reach it just because I “tasted” it a few times? I’ll tell what I would put in there if I was forced to – Sandy, the rotten cat who blatantly teases me in the back yard; the squirt bottle that Dimples uses on me when I pick a fight with Mrs. P.I.B.; the soundtrack to The Sound of Music that Dimples plays OVER AND OVER; all of the car keys (so no one in the Firepants family can leave
me the house); and all of the baby gates that block me from my favorite parts of the house, specifically The Forbidden Section.
2. This one’s easy. Dimples says she hates me all of the time – particularly when I squeak my Wubba, step on her bare feet, chew on her flip-flops, pass gas in her face, and poop on the back seat of the car when she is sitting next to me. Yeah, that last one is very effective.
3. I am not allowed to walk into traffic. In fact, if I don’t stop pooping (or vomiting) as I walk, Mrs. Cap’n Firepants says I will not be allowed to walk anymore at all.
And I eat anything you put on my face. Plus, a blindfold won’t stay on because my nose is too pushed in to hold it up.
4. Mrs. Cap’n Firepants
butted in helped me with this. She says that “this is a delicate matter because of the nature of the award.” Whatever that means. She said we need to choose some blogs that are “slightly irreverent.” Basically, the only one she let me pick is The Life of J-Wo because my Someday-in-the-Future-Girlfriend, Savannah, stars on that one.
Posted on February 11, 2012, in Blogging, Dimples, Dogs, Family, Humor, Wonderbutt, Writing and tagged awards, bulldog, Dimples, dog, Glitter E. Yaynus, humor, wonderbutt. Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.