Wonderbutt’s Acceptance Speech

In yesterday’s historic post, I mentioned that Wonderbutt had received an award from GingerSnaap at Ohmygawdjustdowhatisay.  Her exact words, in presenting him with the Glitter E. Yaynus Award, were:  “What I Meant 2 Say–  This is not for Mrs. Firepants, this is specifically for WonderButt- her Bull Dog. WonderYanus.”

As promised, I communicated the requirements of acceptance to Wonderbutt, which are the following:

1.Name 5 things you would stick up your Junk Trunk if you were forced to. 2. Tell at least 5 things you do that would make people want to kill you or, at the very least Hate you for the rest of  their lives. 3. Blindfold yourself & walk out into traffic on the Highway. 4. Pick 5 Bloggers to BULLY with this (a-hem) ‘Award’.

Here are Wonderbutt’s responses:

1.  What’s a Junk Trunk?  Is that the basket you keep my toys in?  The one you put on a shelf so I can’t reach it just because I “tasted” it a few times?  I’ll tell what I would put in there if I was forced to – Sandy, the rotten cat who blatantly teases me in the back yard; the squirt bottle that Dimples uses on me when I pick a fight with Mrs. P.I.B.; the soundtrack to The Sound of Music that Dimples plays OVER AND OVER; all of the car keys (so no one in the Firepants family can leave me the house); and all of the baby gates that block me from my favorite parts of the house, specifically The Forbidden Section.

2.  This one’s easy.  Dimples says she hates me all of the time – particularly when I squeak my Wubba, step on her bare feet, chew on her flip-flops, pass gas in her face, and poop on the back seat of the car when she is sitting next to me.  Yeah, that last one is very effective.

3.  I am not allowed to walk into traffic.  In fact, if I don’t stop pooping (or vomiting) as I walk, Mrs. Cap’n Firepants says I will not be allowed to walk anymore at all.

And I eat anything you put on my face.  Plus, a blindfold won’t stay on because my nose is too pushed in to hold it up.

4.  Mrs. Cap’n Firepants butted in helped me with this.  She says that “this is a delicate matter because of the nature of the award.”  Whatever that means.  She said we need to choose some blogs that are “slightly irreverent.”  Basically, the only one she let me pick is The Life of J-Wo because my Someday-in-the-Future-Girlfriend, Savannah, stars on that one.

The Idiot Speaketh

Monica – A Day in the Life

Shitmy6yearoldsays

Becoming Cliche

The Life of J-Wo

Wonderbutt's Noble Reaction to Receiving the Glitter E. Yaynus Award (Yes, He is Standing On Top of the Couch)

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Posted on February 11, 2012, in Blogging, Dimples, Dogs, Family, Humor, Wonderbutt, Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.

  1. Wow! What an honor……. I think 🙂

  2. I KNEW WonderButt would rise to the occasion for this award! Well done, Mr. WonderYanus, you are the Glittery-est Bull Dog I know! And the funniest!

  3. Way to go WonderButt…best dog ever! 🙂

  4. This appears to be a very idiosyncratic award! Its acceptance requirements are perhaps examples of some kind of dark humor that I am not used to. I do like your responses though.

  5. Wonderbutt – be nice to the kitties…congrats!

  6. Hooray for Wonderbutt!

  7. Wonderbutt Rules! Congrats on standing on the sofa!

  8. Now this one had us laughing till we cried! Absolutely hilarious! This is truly a unique honor! Wonderbutt on the couch! 🙂 Gotta love it. When we read what you would shove in your junk trunk we roared with laughter… Way to Go Wonderbutt! WhatIMeant2Say is absolutely the funniest and each day is a adventure that make me laugh till my ribs hurt!

    In Awe of your blog, your friends,
    The Collies and Chuck 🙂

  9. Wonderbutt, my younger person hates me sometimes too and I don’t do nearly all the things you do. Keep it up. You’re doing an awesome job.

  10. This one had me howling (no pun intended)!

  11. You deserve every one of your awards and more!

  12. Sorry for the delay in thanking you for this, but THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!

    I’ll display it with pride!!

    Tell Wonderbutt that Jake took Savannah to get her nails did today. They were getting out of control. hahaha…

  13. i am a schmuck and i just read this. wow. i am humbled and want to say thank you. and thank God and my mom? (because that sounds good.) huge virtual hugs and thanks. more later when my kids have eaten!

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