Y U MADD?
Forget cell phones, DVD players, and other distractors inside the car. I will tell you what should be banned – personalized license plates.
If you ever pass me while I’m driving, and you see me mumbling to myself, apparently alone in the car, the explanation could be one of two: I’m singing loudly with the radio so as to break the eardrums of any serial killers who might be hidden in the back of my car, or I am trying to figure out another ding danged personalized license plate.
As some of you may know, I am a bit competitive. And I get really irked when I can’t figure out someone’s plate. I feel like I am the only one on the interstate who doesn’t get the inside joke. At first, I feel dumb. And then I start feeling angry at the plate displayer. How dare they put a plate on their car that purports to convey a message when no one can figure out what the darn message is?
Today, I drove for about a mile behind a car whose plates said, “RAPAZA.” I know there are clever little tricks for these things, like saying the name of the letter instead of its sound, so I spent a long time trying every combination that popped into my mind.
“Rap Pee Aza, Are a Pee Aza, Are Ay Pee Assa…”
What the heck? Then I started trying to say it really slow at the beginning and speeding up on the last syllable. Then I switched it.
Frustrated, I tried to take a picture of the plate with my cell phone. Yes. I know. That makes me a bad driver. Guess what? I can’t cook and I can’t wrap gifts either. But I’ve been able to do the Jonas Snap since I was 10, so I’m not a complete loser.
Taking a picture didn’t work. My cell phone has about .001 megapixel resolution, and going 65 miles per hour while I’m trying to take a picture doesn’t seem to improve it.
As soon as I got my frustrated self home, I went to the computer and Googled “Rapaza”. Guess I could have done that on my iPad while I was driving. But I do have some limits.
Anyway, some of you may already know where this is going.
According to one of the millions of reliable Google sources, “Rapaza” is in fact not Spanish, but Galician (one of the languages spoken in Spain). And it means young girl or teenager.”
O.K. That’s just not fair. If I can’t figure out half the ones that are in English, how am I supposed to decipher one in another language?
Two can play this game, you know. I’m going to get a license plate that says this:
(I just want to tell you that I also tried translating the first syllable of this to Spanish, and it was “preguntarse” – which seems far more appropriate, but is also far too many letters.)
And, yes, I will bestow the coveted award unique to this website upon the first commenter to translate my license plate.