“Do or Do Not; There is No Try”

For the last six months or so, I have been trying what I like to call the “Scattershot Approach” to creative thinking.  Hence, I started this blog and my “Control Blog”.  I have been entering contests, posting inventions on Quirky, trying to sell lesson units on Teacher Pay Teachers, and basically tossing spitwads of ideas up to the ceiling trying to see if any will stick.  I have been using my patented “Scattershot Approach” in my photograpy for about 15 years, and it has been moderately successful.  Take a billion pictures, and hopefully there will be at least one usable one in the batch.  Fortunately for my paltry retirement savings, the invention of the digital camera keeps me from spending every last dime on film in the hopes of producing one picture to throw into Dimples’ scrapbook.

So, anyway, one of the spitwads just fell on my face yesterday.

Loyal readers might remember my request a couple of months ago to help me choose which post I should enter into the Erma Bombeck Writing Contest.  The contest that is held once every TWO years.  The contest that will gladly accept your monetary contribution for ONE and only ONE entry.

After the readers voted, I had two top possibilities, “Who Do You Think Pulls the Sleigh?“, and  the “And With Also You” story. I let someone (I’m not naming names, but he is married to me) help me make the final decision.  He liked the Santa Claus story the best.  Considering the nature of the contest (named after Erma Bombeck, who usually wrote about her family), I decided he was right.

I agreed with He Who Must Not Be Named, and sent in “Who Do You Think Pulls the Sleigh?”.  So, it’s not his fault – though I may bank it to use against him at some later date.  Because I did not win.  Not first.  Not runner-up.  Nuttin’.  Out of a mere five hundred something entrants, I could not come even close to the top.  Kinda hurts.

I mentioned this to the Firepants family at dinner, and the humans of the family (and I’m pretty sure the canines had the same question based on the look on their faces – though that could also be their “what are you going to give me from the table?” look even though we never do) both immediately asked, “What won?”  Good question.  I was so bummed when I got the e-mail, I forgot to look.

After dinner, I opened the painful YOU ARE A LOSER e-mail back up, and clicked on the winner link.

Keep in mind, that my almost-sent-in-submission was called, “And With Also You”, and was about my contemplation of joining the Order of the Temple of the Jedi.  Now, take a gander at the winning story by clicking here.

Someone Up There has a really twisted sense of humor – and it ain’t Erma Bombeck.

And if you really like Star Wars related humor columns – here is someone else who won a contest that I didn’t.  I didn’t actually enter that contest, but that is beside the point.

I may have to meditate at the Temple of the Jedi to determine my next course of action. photo credit: niallkennedy via photopin cc



Posted on March 3, 2012, in Blogging, Cap'n Firepants, Family, Humor, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 23 Comments.

  1. Sorry you didn’t win. 😦 It does hurt to submit your work and find out you get nothing. Been there, done that. No giving up allowed though!! It’ll happen for you! 🙂

  2. Ok, just clicked the link for the winning story. Really?! Yea, I’d be a bit miffed!!

  3. You should have let the Force guide you 🙂

  4. I loved the Santa one, but the With You one was great too. Sorry you didn’t win, but you are one of the funniest and best writers I know, so please don’t give up.

  5. Just cause something wins doesn’t make it good. Look at Congress.

  6. Strange coincidence all right! You should have won!

  7. Sorry you didn’t win. That’s really lame, I liked both of those.

  8. Dont ever give up! Your writing is wonderful! It is sort of ironic what they chose to win…. Unlike the fools who chose that to win… we think your writing is the best and we enjoy our daily laugh with you!

    Oh, by the way have you started looking for your third dog yet?

    Keep up your great writing for to us it is award winning!

    Your friends,
    The Collies and Chuck 🙂

    • Thank you, Chuck and Collies! You have given me the courage to keep trying! And, no, we have not started looking for the third dog, yet. I’m pretty sure the Cap’n has forgotten that whole conversation!

  9. Weird! That does sting, and it is good that you can ultimately blame it on Capt Firepants.

  10. I’ve definitely been in the non-winners of these kinds of contests, and it is a total bummer. I thought the With You post was hilarious, though, so I might blame your disheartening defeat on your husband’s advice.

    We still think you’re a winner!

  11. I’m sorry you didn’t win, I thought both of those were such good posts! You’ve got a future contest in the back fo’sho!

  12. I think your stories are awesome! Keep writing – don’t let this get you down. Remember, the force is strong in you. 🙂

  13. I still like your sleigh story better.

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