Bath and Body Works Does Not Carry This Scent

I am especially looking forward to my nightly cuddle with our bulldog, Wonderbutt, on the couch tonight.  You see, my husband, Cap’n Firepants, got a fun surprise this morning.  He walked into the living room (which also happens to be the bedroom for Wonderbutt and our golden retriever, Mrs. P.I.B.), and discovered what he thought to be signs that Wonderbutt had decided to convert the room into a bathroom as well.  Then, he heard crunching, and found Wonderbutt snacking on some of the potpourri we once had in a bowl on an end table.  It turns out the oddly shaped brown item the Cap’n spotted on the floor was one of the portions of the potpourri that Wonderbutt had spurned.  This is interesting because Wonderbutt does not usually spurn anything once he has determined that it can be ingested.  He has eaten a metal barrette, plastic bags, carpeting, carpet padding, and numerous “indestructible” toys.  I’m kind of curious what made him draw the line at this particular piece.

To be honest, I am not sure how the potpourri lasted as many months (18) as it did.  Who knows what horrible sin the bowl committed that finally brought it to the attention of Wonderbutt?

Taken in Happier Times - When Potpourri Could Roam Freely on Our Tables

Taken in Happier Times - When Potpourri Could Roam Freely on Our Tables

So, the reason that I am contemplating a pleasant evening with Wonderbutt is because I am an optimist.  (Don’t laugh.  I hear some of my loyal readers snorting.  Maybe I’m trying to change.  Did you ever consider that?) And, I figure that, since our little gaseous windbag chose to feast on sweet-smelling dried flowers and leaves, I should, for once, experience an evening of orange and lavender scented flatulence.

Now, if I could just figure out how to quiet his snoring, I might actually enjoy having a 65- pound bulldog spread out across my legs while I laugh and shake my head at the idiot gas-bags they like to lampoon on The Daily Show.

There are some people in this world that might benefit from their own dose of potpourri every once in awhile.


Posted on March 5, 2012, in Cap'n Firepants, Dogs, Family, Humor, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.

  1. Let me know if it works. I may find a flavor that Piper likes!

  2. Great idea. I think I’ll put some of my potpourri down where Bongo can reach it.

  3. I also wonder what the potpourri did to get suddenly attacked! You are optimistic, because I would think it would make the gas smell worse.

  4. LOL! Let us know how it goes! I would try this on the collies but I know them… hey would spurn the potpourri and chew up the bowl and if it couldnt be chewed up they would play tag with it inside he house…. spreading the potpourri all over creation…. hmmm… Way to go Wonderbutt for eating it is the right thing to do! What a wonderful bulldog you have! 🙂 *gives evil eye to collies* 🙂

    Your friends,
    The Collies and Chuck 🙂

  5. You may have stumbled onto a billion dollar idea.

  6. In summary: you’re looking forward to bulldog farts tonight… You are a brave woman. Here’s hoping that Wonderbutt’s butt is ultra-fragrant for you. 😉

  7. Tottaly understood. I am the proud owner of Gus, an 85 pound engilsh bulldog and, well all I will say is that he let one go in the elevator last night in the hospital. There were no words that could rectify the situation but once we escaped to the outside, I laughed. Enjoy your cuddle.

  8. I think I smell a follow-up post tomorrow. At least I hope so. 🙂

  9. Sometimes I want to throw a bunch of good smelling stuff on the boys in my senior English class. Maybe they should eat some potpourri, too.

  10. Hahaha! The simple pleasure of “an evening of orange and lavender scented flatulence” – life doesn’t get better than that! 🙂

  11. My sweet mother once told me a joke that was completely out of character for her:
    An Avon lady was alone in an elevator and she had to fart really bad. So she let go with a huge one. The smell was terrible, so she opened her sample bag and took out Avon air freshener and sprayed the elevator. On the next floor a man got in.
    “What’s that smell?” he asked.
    “Oh,” she said, thinking she might make a sale. “What do you think of it?”
    “It smells like someone farted under a pine tree.”

    —I think this is what is in store for you.

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