I Hope You’re Not Eating

The other morning, I stumbled out of bed to go eat breakfast.  Dimples and the Cap’n were just finishing up.  Before I could get my first spoonful of cereal into my mouth, Dimples asked the Cap’n, “Can I tell her?”  The Cap’n said, “Wait until she’s finished eating.”

I don’t know about you, but when someone says that, I pretty much jump to the conclusion that I’m about to hear something gross.  Fortunately, the Cap’n knows me (and most normal people) well enough to recognize that starting the morning with a gross story is not the way to go.  The other conclusion that I jump to when I hear the word “gross”, particularly when it is emitted my darling daughter, Dimples, is that it is going to have something to do with our bulldog, Wonderbutt.

As soon as I finished my last spoon, I said, “O.K.  Go.”  I wanted to get it over with, and I was afraid Dimples was going to explode if she didn’t get the chance to tattle on her little brother in the next five minutes.

“He pooped out a bracelet,” she said, with great satisfaction.

“Was it yours?” I asked, pretty certain that it wasn’t mine – and it certainly didn’t belong to the Cap’n.


“Guess you shouldn’t leave those laying around, then.”

“Don’t you want to see it?”

“Not really.  But thanks for the offer.”

It turned out to be a bracelet of plastic beads.  Lucky for me it was not Dimples’ silver charm bracelet.  It would break my heart to make the poor kid don some rubber gloves and recover that valuable gem from the Poop Pen.

Wonderbutt licks the back of Dimples' chair while we are eating dinner. He's the perfect little brother.


Posted on March 14, 2012, in Cap'n Firepants, Dimples, Dogs, Family, Humor, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 46 Comments.

  1. Wonderbutt is very talented.

  2. What an incredible journey 🙂 Dimples should take her bracelet to show and tell at school 🙂

  3. Well, I guess she’ll be buying another beaded bracelet.

  4. I’m certainly not going to buy one for her!

  5. Wonderbutt really is a wonder! He can eat just about anything, can’t he?

  6. That beast will eat anything, won’t he? An animal after my own heart.

  7. Plastic bead bracelet… meh. If he starts pooping out golden eggs, though, you’ve got it made!

  8. Poor old WB, on a diet of plastic beads…
    He reminds me of the dog in Jake and the Fat Man..have you ever seen it

  9. I had a dog who ate (and later pooped out) a strand of Christmas lights. Glad it wasn’t a long necklace!

  10. Yuck! That was nice of them to wait until you finished breakfast.

  11. LOL…. Way to go Wonderbutt!!! woo hoo! Our old Sadie (RIP) would have loved Wonderbutt for she ate everything too… crayons, plastic bags, marbles, buttons, anything you can think of….. when she went you never knew what was coming out! We have to say we had to laugh hard at this one…

    Your friends,
    the collies and chuck 🙂

  12. OMG…I know I shouldn’t laugh..but Wonderbutt you are too funny and so very talented!

  13. I know what you mean. After eating approximately 30 Hershey bars w/almonds including the wrappers and did not get sick, it took AJ a week to pass all of the wrappers. Pretty gross.

    • Fun! I had a dog eat a chocolate pie once. She was fine. But Poison Control made me feed her Hydrogen Peroxide to get her to throw up. She was still fine, and not throwing up. Until my friends came over to my small apartment to celebrate my birthday. Cleared that room fast.

  14. I was not eating, but I was hungry and now I’m not. That’s special.

  15. I love the picture of wonderbutt licking the chair, Gus does the same. It is his warning sign that the next step is the underbite is going to peeeeel up the drywall, you know the rest of the story. At least you got the bracelet back….lol

  16. You know, there’s probably a market for pre-digested jewelry…
    but think how impressive it would be if he could poop out jewelry without eating it first!

  17. sounds like a Sadie dog….except she liked socks and underwear!

  18. Yes Gus loves to lick, more than Gurdy. Last year he was licking a 2 inch cherry tree, well… No more tree. The neighbor thought it was quite funny.

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