I Hope You’re Not Eating
The other morning, I stumbled out of bed to go eat breakfast. Dimples and the Cap’n were just finishing up. Before I could get my first spoonful of cereal into my mouth, Dimples asked the Cap’n, “Can I tell her?” The Cap’n said, “Wait until she’s finished eating.”
I don’t know about you, but when someone says that, I pretty much jump to the conclusion that I’m about to hear something gross. Fortunately, the Cap’n knows me (and most normal people) well enough to recognize that starting the morning with a gross story is not the way to go. The other conclusion that I jump to when I hear the word “gross”, particularly when it is emitted my darling daughter, Dimples, is that it is going to have something to do with our bulldog, Wonderbutt.
As soon as I finished my last spoon, I said, “O.K. Go.” I wanted to get it over with, and I was afraid Dimples was going to explode if she didn’t get the chance to tattle on her little brother in the next five minutes.
“He pooped out a bracelet,” she said, with great satisfaction.
“Was it yours?” I asked, pretty certain that it wasn’t mine – and it certainly didn’t belong to the Cap’n.
“Guess you shouldn’t leave those laying around, then.”
“Don’t you want to see it?”
“Not really. But thanks for the offer.”
It turned out to be a bracelet of plastic beads. Lucky for me it was not Dimples’ silver charm bracelet. It would break my heart to make the poor kid don some rubber gloves and recover that valuable gem from the Poop Pen.