Holster that Camera there, Cowboy

Dimples had one primary goal when we went to Houston – shopping.  So, our hostess, Mrs. Globetrotter, kindly escorted us to the most famous shopping mall in Houston – the Galleria.  As soon as we walked in, and Dimples saw that this mall was not just about shopping, she quickly forgot her mission.  She declared, “I want to go ice-skating.”  The kid’s inner circuits almost suffered from a meltdown with this sudden overload of favorite stores and second favorite hobby (swimming being the first).  As her mother, it was my job to guide her through this difficult time.

“No,” I said.  She had talked about shopping for two friggin’ weeks, been making lists of what she wanted, and made me take her to the bank the morning we left to turn in her change – so I was not about to let her get sidetracked by a giant piece of ice in the middle of the food court.

It mattered not that the two stores Dimples most wanted to see actually exist, in several locations, in San Antonio.  She had put shopping at the top  of the list of Houston attractions, and shopping we would do.

After we made our way to Justice and Bath and Body Works (where Dimples bought as many Wallflowers as she could to cover up the scent of Wonderbutt), Mrs. Globetrotter led us to one of the few spots you cannot find in San Antonio – XXX Candy Bar.

Now, before you get too excited, it was not an Adult candy store.  I used the Triple X in place of the name.  And in a feeble attempt to attract more readers to my blog.

The reason that I did not use the actual name of the candy store is because they apparently do not like free advertising.  I know this because I was about to take a phone pic of their luscious brownies to send to Cap’n Firepants, and the Brownie Lady nearly leaped over the glass to shut me down.  “No pictures in here except for in front of the Giant Chocolate Bunny.”

I have never owned a gun, and have never carried one.  But I think I now know how it feels to pull one out in the middle of a crowded store in the mall.  The only thing missing from this lovely experience was Brownie Lady leaping over her delicious confections to tackle me to the floor and hold me down until someone disarmed me of my 2nd generation iPhone with .1 megapixel resolution.

“O-o-o-kay,” I said, slowly backing away from the brownie counter and surreptitiously sliding my phone back into my purse.

I don’t know if I inadvertently discovered the front for a secret government spy organization or if the Brownie Lady is that concerned that I will steal her business (an amusing thought if you have ever tasted my cooking).  But I feel that it is my duty to warn all of you potential picture takers out there that you are taking your life in your hands if you are not standing in front of the Giant Chocolate Bunny.

Oh, and to the 96,000 people out there who have already posted your images of this famous store (minus the Giant Chocolate Bunny) on Google: you better start checking your rear view mirror for Brownie Lady.  She is a woman on a mission.

I would like to see this man square off with the Brownie Lady. Actually, the little girl in the foreground looks pretty formidable, too. photo credit: technikhil via photopin cc

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Posted on March 17, 2012, in Children, Dimples, Family, Humor, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. The photography police are everywhere. Trust me on this.

  2. I reckon that you had a lucky escape!

  3. I would have taken HER picture! What the heck is she worried about?

  4. I think the Chocolate Bunny is a distraction for what actually goes on there. “XXX” as a euphemism indeed!

    So did Dimples have a good time despite the mayhem?

  5. LOL… I would pay to see that guy tangle with the brownie lady! heheh.. you should’ve pointed behind her and said “watch out!!!!” Then took your picture.. hehehehe Yes, I am a trouble maker at times… however I have a excuse, I blame it all on my collies they taught me everything I know…. ….. 🙂

    Your friends,
    the troublemaking collies and the victim chuck 🙂

  6. Didn’t you know candies are afraid of iPhones? 🙂

  7. Maybe she’s protecting a secret brownie recipe handed down from Civil War era cowboys who munched while they watched over cattle… That guy and the kid both look pretty formidable for taking on brownie lady!

  8. Hope your trip was fabulous! Looks like that guy is trying to pose like Wonderbutt…same stance, but not even close to as cute.

  9. Miranda Gargasz

    Before I read the caption I thought: Wow, Brownie Lady looks like a dude. Scary. LOL

    Bet you didn’t know that you moonlight as paparazzi, huh?

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