The voice inside my head is a redneck.

Actually, I think it’s Jeff Foxworthy, who may not really be a redneck even though he likes to define them.

But, let’s get back to that voice.

I know that you are reading this and thinking, “Thank God.  There’s someone else out there who hears a voice.”

Yes, I do.  But I am not hearing the voice you’re hearing – the one that gets you sent to the mental hospital.  It’s that Jiminy Cricket, conscience voice.  Not some kind of God-is-ordering-me-to-blow-something-up voice.  Just a plain old inner voice trying to guide me in my daily life.

Only it’s never had such a distinct accent.  In fact, it’s always kind of sounded just like me.  Just more judgmental.

But, a couple of days ago, I noticed a change.

I was contemplating complaining about something out loud when the voice said, “Well you might just want to think about fixin’ it yerself.”

And, I swear, it was Jeff Foxworthy.

Coincidentally, I was downloading free Easter fonts the other day (bear with me – this is relevant), opened my browser, and suddenly was reading everything in “Bunnyhop”.

It’s hard to take CNN seriously in a Bunnyhop font.

I deleted the font, and everything was back to normal.

So, I’m wondering, did I somehow accidentally download Jeff Foxworthy’s voice into my conscience?

I don’t even watch or listen to Jeff Foxworthy.

How did this happen?

I’m pretty sure it has something to do with giving up Diet Coke.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points. ~Jeff Foxworthy

Or it could be all of the Beef Jerky I ate during our recent road trip. Or the beer. photo credit: _dorothy_ via photopin cc


Posted on March 21, 2012, in Annoyances, Humor and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 29 Comments.

  1. I’m not sure what my inner voice sounds like…maybe a really proper grammar teacher…anyway, Foxworthy might be fun to have in your head.

    As far as the diet coke goes, I only had that one drink I told you about, but other than that, it’s been water, so are we still “tortured together” pals? Also, when does this thing end…that Mountain Dew still laughs at me from the fridge every day.

  2. well, if it has to be a redneck, at least it’s a well spoken, non-cursing redneck…
    Could be worse. Could be Larry the Cable Guy.
    Just sayin…

  3. I have decided to send you a box of diet coke!

  4. Great point El Guapo – it could be so much worse 🙂

  5. You only have one inner voice?


  6. I have no idea what Jeff Foxworthy’s voice sounds like and I suppose I will never know now that he has been made into beef jerky 😦

  7. Now I can’t help but wonder what voice Wonderbutt has in his head. I’m afraid…

  8. Can you imagine if the voice in your head was Gilbert Gottfried?

  9. We can hear Jeff Foxworthy speaking. Maybe it is contagious?

  10. My inner voice sounds like a lot of different people depending on my mood. No, I’m not crazy!

  11. TOTALLY laughed outloud several times! I love that inner voice. Usually. Though mine sounds more like Larry the Cucumber from Veggie Tales, I’m afraid…

  1. Pingback: Friday Foolishness – Feverish Edition | Guapola

  2. Pingback: I’ve Just Got a Touch of Redneck Accent Syndrome and Pareidolia. No Worries. | whatimeant2say

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