Speaking of Balls…

It has been awhile since I have shared a home with a persistently Obsessive Compulsive Dog, but our bulldog is quickly reacquainting me with the fine points of dealing with an O.C.D.  Not to stereotype or anything, but every O.C.D. that has lived in our household has been male; we’ve even hosted an O.C.C. (Obsessive Compulsive Cat) – who also happened to be male.  I don’t really know what this means, scientifically, but our track record is definitely not good.

Our current O.C.D., Wonderbutt, has recently developed a fixation on a ball.  The kind you roll.  (If this is not why you are reading this post, I am sorry to have disappointed you.)  Anyway, this ball was originally purchased for Mrs. P.I.B., our 11 year old Golden Retriever, as Wonderbutt kept ramming her in the side of the mouth to steal her tennis ball – even if he already had an identical tennis ball in his mouth.  In a shocking turn of events, it turned out that Wonderbutt much preferred the new super-duper rubberish ball, and Mrs. P.I.B. was more than happy to stick with the stinky, old tennis ball that Wonderbutt now spurns.  Everybody’s happy, right?

If you know the Firepants Family, and I think you do, you know that there are precious few moments when everyone is simultaneously happy.

Wonderbutt loved the new ball so much, we worried that he would give it the kind of attention that he gives all of the objects that he adores – endless licking that evolves into chewing and, before you know it, there are tiny pieces everywhere and it’s a miracle the dog hasn’t choked.

So, we rationed his time with the ball.  We would play with him until he sprawled out on his stomach, panting, and then gently remove the ball from his jaws and put it somewhere out of his view and reach.

Wonderbutt did not like this routine.  So, one day, instead of bringing the ball back to us, he started racing around the house with it.  My daughter, Dimples, was happy to comply with this new game, chasing him until they were both out of breath.  But, we still got the ball in the end.

The other day, Wonderbutt led Dimples on a merry chase around the kitchen table, and then blasted through his dog door to his outside pen.  The Poop Pen.  I am fine if he brings a toy out to his Poop Pen.  But, as far as I am concerned, that should be a one-way ticket.  No toy returns allowed from the Poop Pen.

This ball, however, was an exception.  It had outlasted any other toy Wonderbutt has ever owned, and I didn’t want to sacrifice it to the Poop Pen.  So, we coaxed him to bring the darn ball back in, washed it off, and put it away for a couple of days.

Wonderbutt is like an elephant, though.  In more ways than one.  From then on, as soon as he got hold of the ball, he would race with it to the Poop Pen.

Dimples got the brilliant idea of closing the dog door during a play session one afternoon.  It really was smart – until she forgot that she had closed it, and wandered off to do other important things.

Concrete floors are very slippery when wet.  And Moms who slip and slide on concrete floors are very upset.

Sometimes I think, “I am a human being.  No dog is going to outsmart me.”

Then I go outside and clean the Poop Pen.

Cornered, Wonderbutt watches Dimples’ hand slowly creep toward his mouth.


Posted on May 2, 2012, in Dimples, Dogs, Family, Humor, Mrs. P.I.B., Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 37 Comments.

  1. I’m wondering if you are perhaps a magnet for O.C. males? With your background in science, perhaps this is an avenue you can explore? 🙂

  2. damn thought we were gonna be talking about a different kind of balls here, but nonetheless wonderbutt is the greatest dog name EVER

  3. Balls are Balls.. My chi. likes hers (sorry guys) purple and yellow. By the way ya’ll are driving me NUTS with laughter keep up the good work/play…..

  4. I KNEW what kind of balls you were talking about.!. but I wanted to tell you a kinda funny or interesting or actualy I ended up looking a little weird…there is a dog here that looks so much like Wonderbutt.. and I see his lady walking him everyday ..well the other day.. she was close enough to hear me and I have been comparing him to pictures of Wonderbutt… and I said to her ..Awesome dog..is it a Wonderbutt?

    I couldn’t make that up.. ..

  5. Wonderbutt really is something. I think I would have lost my mind by now if he was my dog, so congrats to you for staying somewhat sane!

  6. I would hate to slip in the “Poop Pen” 🙂

  7. lessons? trying to manage “playing with balls” can NEVER be a good idea?…and cleaning a poop pen cannot be far behind? but then again these are probably very good reasons we are not dog owners. ;o) good luck!

  8. Has this ball been given a “Wonderbutt Approved” award yet?
    And maybe you could hang it fromhis collar so he always has it to chw on. As opposed to, say, the new couch…

  9. I’m not sure which is worse, cleaning up the poop pen or the bathroom my boys use?

    Gotta love that Wonderbutt!

    By the way, is your WordPress “Blog Reader” working? I can no longer see the blogs I subscribe to.

    • Your boys’ bathroom is worse, I am certain. I don’t actually have to go into the Poop Pen. I use a very long shovel! And, I can see my WordPress blogs that I am following, but I am suddenly receiving a flood of comments from other people’s blogs, which is a bit bothersome.

  10. That is quite the accomplishment to find a toy that darling Wonderbutt hasn’t yet destroyed. And it’s become a great workout routine for WB and Dimples from the sound of it – brilliance!

  11. I’m pretty sure if there are aliens watching us right now, they believe dogs to be the rulers of the universe since humans follow them around, give them treats and toys, feed them, and pick up their poop.

  12. “Speaking of balls”… good one! I feel a limerick coming on. What rhymes with Wonderbutt?

  13. Good for Wonderbutt that he found a toy he likes. We love a game of chase! Sorry about the poop pen.

    Bella and DiDi

  14. LOL! Oh my, we know how you feel about that ball. You’ve seen the thing called a ball that Lad has…. it is his life….. its everything to him….. here goes Lad now… “Ball, ball, ball, ball, ball, ball,…” See what I mean? if he can;t find his ball it is a scene you do not want to see, his heart is broken. Sounds like Lad and Wonderbutt would have a lot of fun together, that is until Ginger showed up and led them into some sort of brainiac plot.

    Yes, isnt it amazing that we feed the dogs so we can then go out and scoop up after them? LOL

    Great post!

    God Bless You!
    The collies and chuck 🙂

  15. Go Wonderbutt liking that ball. 🙂

  16. I always love a good dog post. Avery (she’s there in my little profile photo)is a resuce dog. Everything is new to her- the outdoors, grooming practices, toys- everything. She has adapted quiet well to the outdoors and this has been a pleasure for us, with many funny moments. Avery would love Dimples. Avery sometimes likes to change the rules so that we are the ones doing the fetching – and you can’t win when a dog decides this can you? In your head you’re saying ‘this is all wrong’ but you keep fetching. It’s unnerving, isn’t it? The way they work you. Avery now demands that we entertain her while she eats. She has us doing that thing you do with babies where you pretend to eat their veggies with a big show of how yummy veggies are. So there we are holding bits of dog food to our mouths making yummy yummy noises, before handing her her food piece by piece. Not a word of a lie.

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