Soccer Moms Don’t Have These Problems
When we last left our young heroine – me – STOP LAUGHING! Are you laughing at the “young” or the “heroine”? Both?!!!!! Fine.
When we last left our young heroine – my 9 year old daughter, Dimples – we had just arrived in Irving, Texas after a grueling (okay, it wasn’t as grueling as the time leading up to the ride when we were trying to pack up the car) 6 hour car ride to find that we had forgotten to pack one slightly important item for her two-day synchronized swimming tournament – her swim bag.
I should probably educate you on what is generally in the swim bag of a synchronized swimmer participating in one of these mega events: a black swimsuit, a team swimsuit, at least 4 towels, nose plugs, team warm-up suit, goggles, team swim cap, white swim cap, black flip-flops, and yoga mat. Some swimmers also pack their knoxing supplies (boxes of Knox gelatin, bobby pins, hairnets, combs, paintbrushes, and cups).
We realized the swim bag had not traveled with us from San Antonio at about 8:30 the night before the competition. Each of us thought one of the other two family members had put it in the car.
Before I noticed the bag’s absence, and told anyone not to panic, I did a quick mental inventory of what I knew we had. Fortunately, I had packed the knoxing supplies and towels separately, and had some extra nose clips and goggles. Not Dimples’ favorite nose clips and goggles, of course, which almost sparked a the first meltdown of the weekend once I made my announcement about the swim bag that had go AWOL.

At least I did not make her wear these nose clips. Can someone explain to me what these are even for?!!!!!! What chance am I missing? And what the heck is antibiotic deodorization?!!!!! photo credit: gnosis / john r via photo pin cc
For some odd reason that actually seems logical, Dimples packed her suits in her suitcase, instead of her swim bag. The suitcase somehow made the cut when I was weeding out things that did not really need to ride with us to Dallas, such as the ten receipts from recent veterinary visits. Lest you think that I have some kind of rational approach to packing, I should also tell you that we brought along enough bottled water to survive a nuclear holocaust and some other extremely important survival items – like my umbrella. In case it decided to rain at the indoor swimming pool.
Dimples got a new team swim cap at the Team Meeting that night.
The yoga mat has always been a luxury item for which a towel can substitute in a pinch.
That left the white swim cap, which would be needed at 7:30 A.M., and the black flip flops.
After a year of doing this, I have learned that I am the only inept mother in the group. I was pretty certain every other mom not only had their daughter’s white swim cap, but also brought extras. I was right. They also could have given me cases of nose clips or goggles.
Disaster #1 averted. Mostly. (Our Dallas friends came to the rescue with some black flip flops, fortunately.)
I would like to point out that, although I forgot my daughter’s entire swim bag, guess who was the only mom who had a Sharpie with which to write everyone’s initials on their new team caps?
That’s right – our youngish, heroine, who can always be counted on to remember trivial items. Me.
Posted on May 7, 2012, in Dimples, Family, Humor, Memory Loss, Parenting, Synchronized Swimming and tagged Dimples, humor, parenting, swim, synchronized swimming. Bookmark the permalink. 29 Comments.
Oh so glad that it all worked out! Seriously, that stuff always happens no matter how much packing/planning you do. Can you see the nose clips from the audience when they are performing? I didn’t realize they wore them.
You can’t really see the nude ones. But her favorite ones are big plastic ones that are kind of visible. She says they stay on better, though.
Please tell me your blog is the practise ground for a book…?
p l e a s e . . . ?
Are you asking this question because you are hoping that this is all fictional and that I’m really not that bad at motherhood?
No, and you know it! You make us all laugh with each post and, without wanting to tar an entire nation with a single brush, (much!) not many of you Americans can do that with the rest of the English speaking wold. Your writing is accessible – I think that’s your secret.
I can see it now… What I Meant 2 Say launching her book on The Daily Show (hidden behind one of those freaky “we are protecting the identity” fuzzy over-lays and matching voice distorter)
That would be a total Dream Come True!
Dream B I G, Baby! 🙂
Haha thats funny!
Which part – that I’m youngish?
Glad it worked out, and really, pulling all that stuff together at the last minute is more impressive than remembering to bring one silly bag.
I work better under pressure 😉
You are awesome. I couldn’t have done it.
Can’t stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank God for blogging or I would be really depressed by my own incompetence.
I’m just so glad you had her swim suits. I was sweating it out there for her. And I would also be the only inept mother of the group. Someone would always have to do my child’s hair for me.
The bad hair-doing mom post is coming up…
Hooray for sharpies! Seriously, you can forget everything else but as long as you have a sharpie you’re sage.
I can’t believe it’s taken me 43 years to figure this out and you haven’t even started college yet.
I’ve always considered you a sharpie.
Ouch!
My four kids are grown and living elsewhere, and your story just reinforces how thankful I am for that! I can remember a few similar incidents that still make me cringe…
Wow, multiplying these situations by four makes my head ache!
Ok. I find this fascinating. I don’t know anyone who has ever participated in synchronized swimming. I guess they just don’t offer it around here. But what I’m dying to know is what the heck is the Knox gelatin for? My daughter is a swimmer and this is not something that ends up in her swim team bag. Please share.
The swimmers like to wear fancy headpieces for their routines, so swim caps don’t really fit the costume. When they Knox their hair, there are no fly-aways, and it all (if you do it right) stays perfectly in place.
Wow! What a story… sorry we did have to laugh most of the way through it. We are amazed how you always land on your feet in these situations. 🙂 Awe may be the better word! 🙂 Now, the collies looked at me and all agreed you are young and a heroine… when I asked them why they looked at me they just turned and walked away… hmmmm….. evil collies!
Your impressed friends,
the collies and chuck 🙂
Tell the collies that my heart is warmed by their flattery and I don’t think they are evil at all!
Phew! I think I held my breath reading this more than Dimples does underwater! 🙂
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