You Can Stop Arguing About Global Warming Now
Wonderbutt, the Dog Who Ate the World
Wonderbutt, I’m finding, is not a big environmentalist.
Forget the Greenhouse Effect. That dog took about 9.53 minutes to completely detach the North Pole from his Orbee Planet Ball last night. And he was not pleased when I denied him the pleasure of ingesting it. (Actually, it was probably the South Pole (Antarctica), if you want to be technical, since it was the same color of the other faux landmasses he partially consumed a couple of days ago.) The point is, he has absolutely no respect for the Earth. The good, or bad, news – depending on how you look at it – is that there are now no continents left for Wonderbutt to devour.
He followed up that feat with an attack on our recycling bin today when Dimples, our daughter, once again left the pantry door open.
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did.”
At which point I concluded that next school year, the year in which I become Dimples’ Gifted and Talented teacher once a week, the year that she is in 5th grade, will be the Year that the World Implodes. So, recycling seems a bit superfluous anyway.
My fault for throwing away an unread newspaper
Wonderbutt’s definition of “recycling” seems to be “redecorate the house with things I have chewed. And then I will chew them again. And then I will find things I haven’t chewed, and make sure they bear my mark, too.”
Posted on May 15, 2012, in Dimples, Dogs, Family, Humor, Wonderbutt and tagged bulldog, Dimples, dog, humor, OMG Will this dog EVER Stop Chewing?, Orbee, wonderbutt. Bookmark the permalink. 28 Comments.
He was probably just wanting to read the editorials. Damn bag and no opposable thumbs…
I think I’m going to leave the Pet Classifieds out for him next time. So he can appreciate how lucky he is to have a home!
Lol
So the Mayans were right…
I’m afraid so.
Is he just trying to eat all the plastic so you’ll have no pooper bags with which to tidy up after him? Or maybe, he has a plastic intestine (notwhatiwanted2say)?
🙂
janet
I think the plastic intestine is quite likely.
ooops! naughty old WB How is your new furniture?
It comes later this week. I’m beginning to think that was a really bad idea.
WB won’t think so when he personalizes it..whoops!
Are you sure he’s not part goat?
He looks more like a pig or a cow, to be honest. Maybe we should do some DNA testing.
This conversation is much like the ones we have at my house! Last week, a mystery person left our pantry open, and our golden retriever Lucy took it upon herself to eat through a box of uncooked pasta. Who knew pasta was so tasty without being cooked! 🙂
Lucky Lucy! I guess she has her own version of “al dente”.
You reproduce what is shown on the last pic, exhibit it at the MoMa and that’s modern art. Fame and fortune!
If I can coax him to pee on it, that masterpiece might be worth even more!
Are you kidding? Wonderbutt is a born recycler. He’s just reducing the plastic to smaller pieces for processing…
You are not allowed to take his side!
Strike against you Wonderbutt! I feel so guilty when I recycle an unread newspaper!!
Yes, I just cut back my subscription because it was getting ridiculous. And to give Wonderbutt less to chew on.
My dog never eats the newspaper but he likes to eat up the bread.
I wonder if he would have liked Dimples’ science fair project – the Bread that Would not Mold?
Wonderbutt really doesn’t have a desire to go green. 🙂
Bella and DiDi
He’s a bit self-centered.
Man! Can wonderbutt get a persistence award???
Hmm, I really can’t see anything wrong in those pictures 🙂
Oh, how we love dogs that recycle and redecorate for us! LOL…. Especially the christmas season everything has to be “colliefied”! LOL…. Wonderbutt sounds like he is expressing his feelings about each topic and pretty clearly too… LOL When does that new furniture arrive? Then the real redecorating will begin… 🙂 We are praying for you. 🙂 🙂 🙂
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