You Can Stop Arguing About Global Warming Now

Wonderbutt, the Dog Who Ate the World

Wonderbutt, I’m finding, is not a big environmentalist.

Forget the Greenhouse Effect.  That dog took about 9.53 minutes to completely detach the North Pole from his Orbee Planet Ball last night.  And he was not pleased when I denied him the pleasure of ingesting it.  (Actually, it was probably the South Pole (Antarctica), if you want to be technical, since it was the same color of the other faux landmasses he partially consumed a couple of days ago.)  The point is, he has absolutely no respect for the Earth. The good, or bad, news – depending on how you look at it – is that there are now no continents left for Wonderbutt to devour.

He followed up that feat with an attack on our recycling bin today when Dimples, our daughter, once again left the pantry door open.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

At which point I concluded that next school year, the year in which I become Dimples’ Gifted and Talented teacher once a week, the year that she is in 5th grade, will be the Year that the World Implodes.  So, recycling seems a bit superfluous anyway.

My fault for throwing away an unread newspaper

Wonderbutt’s definition of “recycling” seems to be “redecorate the house with things I have chewed.  And then I will chew them again.  And then I will find things I haven’t chewed, and make sure they bear my mark, too.”