Funerals Get a Bad Rap

First of all, let me state for the record that I love funerals.  I mean, what’s not to like?  People dressed in black, talking in whispers, singing gushy sentimental songs out of key.

My sister, Crash, claims that she hates them.  Which worked out in her favor because she recently just managed to get herself uninvited to one.  She finds this upsetting, so I just want to remind her that she is totally invited to mine when I have one.  In fact, I expect her to attend.  And, just to please her, I already have a smash-bang good one planned, with a flash mob and everything.  It’s going to put the “fun” back in funeral, I promise.

So, we’ll both sit this one out, Crash.  It’s okay.

I am totally having my funeral here. And play will not be canceled. So, everyone better start practicing. Wait till you see the 18th hole…

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Posted on June 5, 2012, in Crash, Death, Family, Humor and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 39 Comments.

  1. Dang, if that’s the case, I want to come to your funeral too!

  2. “She finally holed out from the sand trap of life….a masterful stroke…”
    “We charge $10 per round of mini golf validating the old saying ‘you drive for show but you put for dough'”

  3. Wow! I need to start practicing

  4. I have a great friend in NZ. She’d be in her mid 60s (I’m guessing). I bought her some hot pink leather gloves a few years ago for her birthday. She wears them to funerals. I think you two would get on.

  5. I like funerals too! Mine will feature a pasta buffet, swing dancing, and cheesy music. The only sad part is I’ll be too dead to enjoy it.
    Funerals are great (unless they’re for children, but let’s not go there). Where else are all the things said about an individual so positive? We should say the nice stuff we say about people after they’re dead while they’re still alive, and we should have an assortment of squares and little sandwiches while we do it.

  6. How do you get uninvited from a funeral? I have never been to a funeral, but if it had a mini golf course I don’t know whether I would enjoy it or be slightly offended.

    • Well, when you have a family that is slightly deranged, like ours is, getting uninvited seems to be fairly easy, I guess. The only reason I wasn’t uninvited was because I live 22 hours away and wasn’t planning to attend in the first place.

  7. I’m with you. At my funeral, I want people to dance to their seats like those bridesmaids and groomsmen did in that YouTube wedding video. There will be an open bar. And I want to make a video appearance so I can get in the last word, haha.

    I now want to write a blog post on my funeral plans…is that imitation or inspiration?

  8. I think I’ll have my funeral there too although I’m not keen on golf!

  9. wow, you are going to be the cool funeral on the block. Everyone is going to want to come to your funeral.

  10. Chancy and Mumsy

    Your funeral is going to be more like a party. We could handle that kind…the other kind not so much. Hugs and nose kisses

  11. woo hoo!!! when do we get to attend? wait.. er.. um… notwhatimeant2say… LOL… sorry couldnt help meself…. I want at my funeral to ve in the coffin with both hand in the air with the one finger salute…. but then I see humor in that.. others may not but what will I care? What they gonna do kill me? hehehe GREAT POST!!! Do stop by and read yesterday’s post at the meadow, we have a surprise for you.. 🙂

    Your laughing friends,
    the naughty collies and the even naughtier chuck 🙂

  12. Tall person has missed your posts but now he is back home he can sit back and laugh his head off at your latest hilarious take on life (or in this case, death) 🙂

  13. MINI GOLF??? Sa-weet. I could look FORWARD to that.

  14. So, strangely enough, or knowing me NOT strangely enough, I know of this Funeral parlor. I grew up in Palatine. In fact, I believe I went to high school with one of the Ahlgrims. I have been to the mini-golf too. It is creepy and cool all at the same time.

  15. Hooooowwwwllllll! We are laughing so hard. We want to know what is on the 18th hole 🙂

    Bella and DiDi

  16. Not scary. Just a bit…odd…

  17. Oh, my gosh – that is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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