I am Dauntless
Dimples and I had a great day yesterday. That is because I did not make her do anything. We had no plans, so she stayed in her pajamas until 4:00 when we Skyped her cousin, right before which she changed her top but not her bottoms. I, on the other hand, took a shower, put on makeup, and curled my hair. Because even when I Skype I’m afraid that someone is going to make fun of me for looking like I just cleaned Wonderbutt’s Poop Pen.
After Skyping, Dimples and I started the second book in our new, favorite series. The first book was Divergent. #2 is Insurgent. I think I told you that we were almost finished with the first one a few days ago, and I was hoping there would be no “sticky” parts, as I am reading it out loud to her and she is only 9. Of course, right after I wrote that, the big S-E-X word popped up, and I thought, “Well, of course. If it’s not Dr. Seuss, I might as well just be reading her 50 Shades of Grey.” Luckily, it was just the word, and not the act, and Dimples and I have talked about the word before – so she seemed to think it was no big deal when I nonchalantly read the sentence and moved on.
I asked her later if she had any questions about the word, and she said, “No, Mom. We already discussed this.” And we did – to a certain extent. And, I’m fine with that. I think it was around the time we had the Skank Talk, which pretty much scarred me for life. Every “talk” since then has been a bit hazy.
So, now we are reading the second book. Because it did not occur to me at all that the mere mention of The word in the first book might actually lead to some action in the second book. And, because I like to take my life into my hands (in a Dauntless kind of way, like the main character), and risk coming across more difficult topics. The kid is like a reading machine, though, so I figure it’s better she hits these topics while I’m around, so I can give her my own ridiculously exaggerated misinformation before her friends do. Because that’s how I roll.
Every time I finish a chapter, she begs me to read another. Then I pretend like it’s a huge imposition and I have so many things to do, and I finally relent and read another chapter. This probably explains why, so far this summer, my sole accomplishments have been to clean out one closet and sew a button on a sweater.
I will probably start becoming majorly productive in about three days, though, because the author of this series, Veronica Roth, won’t publish the third book until next year. This will also give me time to begin preparing my somewhat more specific “talk” – or to jump off the nearest skyscraper. Whichever seems less intimidating at the moment…
Posted on June 28, 2012, in Children, Dimples, Family, Humor, Parenting and tagged dauntless, Divergent, humor, Insurgent, life, parenting, Veronica Roth. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.
I don’t know these books so I am quite curious now – have been laughing reading this post!
Hilarious, as usual. I think I have more books to add to my summer reading list. Or to create my summer reading list. I was so tired of reading (how is that possible?!) after AP Lit and Senior English that I needed a break. Break’s over! This sounds good. And I’m well past 9 so I think I’ll be okay.
You crazy, living-on-the-edge, courageous woman! 🙂 Seriously, love that you guys are reading together, so cool!!
Great post! Perfect way to approach thos adult topics…. 🙂
I think it is wonderful that you read to Dimples 🙂