I’m Surprised it Didn’t Just Fall on our Car

As you may know, mattresses and I have a somewhat turbulent relationship.  Lately, it seems as though we have mattresses coming out of our ears.  Which is an interesting mental image when you think about it…

Conversation between Cap’n Firepants and me as we are driving along the highway:

Me:  What are we going to do with the 40 year old mattresses that we just picked up from your mom’s apartment?

Cap’n Firepants:  I don’t know.  I think when we order the new mattresses that they will pick up the old ones.

Me:  From our garage?

Cap’n Firepants:  What the –

He swerves to avoid a box spring mattress that is lying in the middle of Highway 281, with its guts, including wooden boards, strewn all over the highway.

Cap’n Firepants:  Someone is going to get really screwed up by that.

Me:  I think I figured out what we can do with those mattresses.

The epitome of patriotism – littering your country’s roads with old mattresses that cause multi-vehicle car crashes.
photo courtesy of http://sunburnhighways.wordpress.com/

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Posted on July 1, 2012, in Annoyances, Cap'n Firepants, Humor and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. Chancy and Mumsy

    Unreal…what are the chances of that happening to you all with all you have been through trying to get a comfortable mattress that does not smell? Hope you find out what to do with the mattresses you need to get rid of. Hugs

  2. I love the last sentence of your post. I could just see the wheels turning as you sailed past the red, white, and blue thing. Perfection! Dump the suckers – just not in the road. Ha. Ha.

  3. misswhiplash

    What a tale to tell! you are having a mattress time! Is ‘nt there a central place for putting large items like mattress and washing machines etc

    • We have a collection once a year in each neighborhood. Maybe I can find out which neighborhoods are having the collection this month, and sneak it into someone else’s pile…

  4. At least if you crash, you’ll have a nice, soft place to land.

  5. At least the one in the photo was trying to be patriotic!

  6. It’s the perfect crime! Mattress removal made easy. You guys could even offer this as a service and make some extra money off of it…

  7. How to get rid of the mattresses you dont want? Um… give it to Wonderbutt? hehehe 🙂

  8. Mattresses should remain in your ears 🙂

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