Date Nights

The way we usually plan a date:

“Hey, Dimples got invited to a friend’s house tonight.  Want to go out?”

The way we I planned last Friday’s date:

“Hey, Dimples apparently lost all of her friends, which I’m sure has nothing to do with the fact that we have spent our summer battling smelly mattresses, so I guess we need to hire a babysitter if we ever want to be alone with each other again.  Want to go out?”

The way our date went:

By 8:30, we were done with dinner.  It was a fine meal.  Just the two of us in a booth beside a bar filled with hundreds of vivacious people who did not get my memo about my plans to be alone with Cap’n Firepants.

“What are we going to do now?” Cap’n Firepants asked me as he set down his fork.  He read out available movies from his phone, and I shook my head.

“We could just go home,” I suggested.  I had already bombarded him with every topic that I could think of that could not be discussed in front of Dimples or at 10:00 at night when I am busy “studying” The Daily Show in order to better understand the fine points of comedic timing. So, I had accomplished my agenda for the evening.

The problem with having a babysitter is that you we find it a tad embarrassing to arrive home when it’s still daylight.  Even though it would save us money and the babysitter would be thrilled to go home and get ready for a “real” night on the town.

“Let’s go get coffee,” Cap’n Firepants suggested.

I spent 15 minutes trying to persuade him to try a new local coffee place by our house.  It took 15 minutes to drive there.  It was closed.

“We could try the Starbucks on Blanco,” I said.

“That’s a drive-thru.”

“No, the one on the other side.  It’s sit-down.”

“There’s one on the other side?”


“How did I not know there was one on the other side?”

“I don’t know.”

So, we drove there.  It was closed, too.

So, we drove back past the local one that was closed to a Starbucks a bit farther that was open.

We were home by 10. It was dark outside, but I got the feeling that the babysitter was not impressed by our fortitude.  Fortunately, she did not seem to suspect that we spent half the evening driving around and trying to think of something to do so we wouldn’t look lame.

The way our dates usually go if they are t0o close together:

The next day, Dimples got invited to a friend’s house.

We didn’t even go through the motions of a date.  I walked through the living room.  Cap’n Firepants was watching The Matrix.  He has watched this 967.34 times.  I did not care to watch it again.

“Want to watch the new Sherlock Holmes movie?” I asked.

“There’s a new one?  Did we ever see the first one?”


“How did I not remember that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is it PG-13?”

“Why?  Are you afraid it’s going to give you nightmares?”

I get a glare.

“Why don’t you just keep watching The Matrix?” I suggested.

At least that date was cheaper.


Posted on July 2, 2012, in Cap'n Firepants, Dimples, Family, Humor, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.

  1. misswhiplash

    that is very typical of a husband/wife date… we try to avoid it . Not very romantic but it saves sitting in silence

  2. I am no longer married but I remember those kind of dates…hmmm…I

  3. Why is it that no one in the world seems to know what they want to eat? My husband, my children, my friends- no one ever will say where they would like to go eat.

  4. I like how you have to force yourselves to stay out late! J and I end up calling up his friends whenever we get bored, and we’re a couple of lame homebodies during the week. 🙂

  5. i think this is my favorite post of yours that i have read to date. it rings so true it’s SCARY. the part about driving in the driveway while it’s still vaguely light outside. and the babysitter looking at her watch and commenting, “yeesh. you guys are early.” omg. thought you might enjoy this from planning an actual date weekend commemorating a lot of married years.

    • That post is hilarious!!!!! OMG! This is our way of celebrating anniversaries: “Hey, what should we do for our anniversary?” “I don’t know.” “Remember that mattress we bought 3 months ago? Didn’t we say that was our anniversary gift to each other?” “Oh, yeah.” “Let’s just go out to eat, then.” “O.K.”

  6. I can relate to the picture.

  7. Date? You mean I’m supposed to take her out on a date? Didnt we get married so we dont have to do that anymore? *Looks at collies with stunned look* LOL
    Ginger tells me there are some dandelions out back…… yeah, thats the ticket… 🙂
    Great post as usual and yeah, this sure sounds familiar… 🙂

  8. Oh my gosh!!!! The same thing happens ot us, except it’s my mom that makes fun of us if we come back too soon. We have done a Starbucks to “kill” time, too- just so she won’t give us a hard time. How did he not know about the one next to the Taco Cabana on Blanco?!? 😉

    • Funny addendum to that story. He actually went to that Taco Cabana the weekend before to get Dimples a breakfast taco – then went ACROSS BLANCO to get me a Venti Mocha, instead of the Starbucks 2 doors down. True love makes ya blind, I guess.

  9. You should plot the positions of all the Starbucks within a certain radius of your home, and spend your date nights travelling to all of them.
    Or something…

  10. I enjoy cheap dates too. My favorite is going out for a walk in the park or rent a movie & make dinner together. 🙂

  11. Hahahahaha! It can be daunting going out in the evening, especially as a couple, and I think you did well to stay out until 10. Next time try for 10.30. Before you know it you’ll be out clubbing all night and won’t be home until 7.00 a.m. 🙂

    • Good idea! We will try to raise the bar each time. Of course, we date so often that our all nighters will not start happening until Dimples is out of the house and we won’t have a babysitter to impress anymore!

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