Beware the Wrath of Mrs. Cap’n Firepants

This is going to be a Yelling Post.  It is that time of the month, and I am sorry if that is T.M.I.  but I feel that I should give you fair warning.

First of all, I would like to yell at the veteran bloggers out there who either A.) did not warn me that there is some kind of summer slump that completely decimates your number of readers, or 2.) did not tell me that the quality of my writing has plummeted so deeply that I am shedding fans faster than Wonderbutt can pee all over my new furniture.

Secondly, I am yelling at Apple.  Or Adobe.  Or all technology companies.  To Flash or not to Flash.  I don’t care.  But come up with a friggin’ consensus.  Because of your shenanigans, I have to bring my 10 million pound laptop to my conference in Cambridge next week.

Which leads to me airline companies.  It’s not all of you.  Just the one that I happen to be flying tomorrow that charges for people to check one bag.  I would say your name, but you will have my life and, more importantly, my luggage in your hands tomorrow.  You took away my meals.  You took away my free wings and my tour of the cockpit.  And now you want me to pay to check one suitcase!!!!!!!  Which I would not have to bring if I did not have to bring my laptop.  Because I was planning to bring my super lite iPad.

My laptop not only weighs 10 million pounds, but it is antiquated.  Plus, I dropped it a couple of years ago, and the back button has never been the same.  But, now I have to bring the laptop because my conference at Harvard requires access to “Flash-enabled” websites.  Which means my brilliant idea of taking one personal item and a carry-on is out the window.  Because I HATE dragging a Bunch of Stuff with me when I have to change planes – and a 10 million pound laptop plus a full carry-on falls within my definition of a Bunch of Stuff.

So, now I must check a bag.  And pay $25 for that checked bag.  Going and coming.  And they will probably lose it.  And then I will be stuck at Harvard with an antique laptop and no clean underwear.  And everyone at Harvard will laugh at me.  Because of the horribly old laptop.  They won’t know about the underwear.  I hope.

The airport Stormtroopers better not got through my antique underwear.
photo credit: pasukaru76 via photo pin cc

Posted on July 7, 2012, in Annoyances, Blogging, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 32 Comments.

  1. The collies say watch out for those Airport security people… they are the only ones who will know it you have clean undergarments or not… 😦 Beware of those ppl!!!! Of course you can choose to go through the xray machine and give the picture to Capn Firepants! LOL… Have fun at Harvard!

  2. Calm Down, its ok…. Count to 10(0000) You are tuff enough to do all this with Grace and a (wicked) smile Hey throw a thong in there I mean just for fun and all… Just sayin’ 🙂

  3. Chancy and Mumsy

    Well that just sounds stinky if you ask us. We hope there are no more happenings that bring on yelling before you go and get back from Harvard. We hope you have tons of fun despite all the airline bothersome issues. Hugs

  4. Summer slump is real. Everyone will come back in the fall 🙂 I’m sorry about your flight. If you are dealing with the airline I think you are dealing with… don’t put anything valuable in your checked bag. The last couple of times I have checked baby items with an airline I will call Smelta, they lost them and returned them broken, and all I got was a voucher to check my next bag for free. Grr.

  5. Thanks for the heads up about the Summer Slump… II’ve been considering throwing my blog down a flight of stairs, the last few weeks… LOL

  6. don’t know about you, but to me,10 million pounds is HEAVY!!! Plus you may not want to tell the airline about that or they’ll charge you for that too… or worse, make you take the next flight!!!

    I expected to see all CAPS, cuz you were YELLING, but you have much will power, young lady!!!
    your trip sounds exciting except for all the crap you have to deal with… hope it gets better and you have fun!!!


  7. You’re writing has maintained a minimum quality-level of excellent (which it regularly exceeds), Their loss for all the silly people that “vacation” and “have a life” that miss your posts.

    I think you should visit the airline’s corporate offices to explain your displeasure. With Wonderbutt.

  8. I wasn’t aware that the iPad is not capable of viewing flash enabled websites, though I am not wholly surprised. Tall person keeps looking for one tech thing that does everything and does it well – it’s like the search for the Holy Grail – he hasn’t found it yet (the ultimate gadget – nor the Holy Grail) – so continues to amass a hoard of gadgets 🙂 However, I know you will overcome these irritations and will enjoy your trip!

  9. misswhiplash

    I am so glad that my comments is working today as I did not want to miss the chance to say what a great Rant ‘n’ Rave…I loved it. Even if the number of readers has fallen off you still have more than me and YOU STILL HAVE QUALITY readers…they don’t come past everyday.

    Has WB really wee’eed on your new sofa?

    As for airlines..they are getting worse by the day..3 years ago I pledged that I would never fly SqueezyJet again but when you compare prices it is the cheapest option…so I put up with being herded like cows.

    have a good flight …lots of love P

  10. I dunno about the numbers thing….. I’ve had the same problem. I figured it was too hot for people to read blogs.

  11. Stash some underwear in the lap top bag, and you should be okay.

    Hope you have fun!

  12. Life is rough, isn’t it?

  13. “my conference at harvard.” so, DESPITE all that – you have a conference at HARVARD. you still rule!

  14. I hope you get a good pilot too. My mom works for an airline in pilot scheduling and most of them like to call in “sick” or break the plane so it won’t fly. And I never check bags because I’m certain they will lose it and I like to get off the plane and out of the airport as fast as possible.

  15. On The Bloggess not too long ago, she had her laptop in her suitcase and guess what? They lost it. You can’t carry it on at all in a carry-on?

    I didn’t know about summer slump either. Last summer was my first summer. I just figured no one like me. 😉 This summer I’m just trying to write less, though I guess that can’t work for you.

    Good luck with your laptop.

  16. Don’t worry about the summer slump, it’s because it’s the summer and not because of the quality of your work. Don’t stress it, it’ll come back soon!

    Good luck with your clockwork laptop on the flight and at the conference. If all else fails you could stuff some clean underwear into the laptop bag and if anyone asks, just pretend it’s there to protect your antiquity from more damage lol 🙂

  17. See – the perfect excuse for you to move to Australia. Our domestic airlines are definitely better than those in North America. Come on, you know you want to, Harvard Girl!

  18. I’m worried about the summer slump too … but it’s winter where I live! Seems a lot of my readers live in the opposite hemmesphere to me. I too have an antique laptop – and am yet to even get an iPad, so you’re miles ahead of me. I’m waiting until they put out a version that does everything – but like Bassa said, it’s like waiting for the Holy Grail! Have fun at Harvard. And if anyone comments about your laptop, it’s not old, it’s vintage. And vintatge is hot right now!

  19. Sorry WIM2S. I love flying, but I understand the frustrations of checking bags. Sorry they are charging you though…one more way to suck money out of people. That sucks…no pun intended…

  20. I’m old enough to remember when flying was an adventure and not something we dread. I do like the fact that Southwest Airlines still doesn’t charge for bags.

  21. Perhaps you should forget all of those laptop and underwear problems and simply take Wonderbutt with you?

  22. Antique underwear AND an antique laptop? You’re just going all out retro!
    Seriously though, I can’t believe the airlines charge for bags, some of them are even starting to charge for carry ons!
    And yes, what gives with the summer plummet in blogland visits (dare I admit I’m guilting of this too)?

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