O.K. You Can Call Me Maybe, But Do Not Send Me a Text at 2 AM From My Mother-In-Law

Quick summary for new readers:  Cap’n Firepants is my husband, our bulldog, Wonderbutt, knows how to text, and we are currently sleeping on a killer mattress.  No husbands or 82-year-old mother-in-laws were harmed in the creation of this blog post.

Firepants Household, Master Bedroom, 2 A.M.:

Cap’n Firepants – Are you awake?

Me – I better not be.

Cap’n Firepants – I got a text earlier and I just read it.

Me – O.K.

Cap’n Firepants – It’s from my mom.

Me – O.K.

Me, sitting up – Wait a second.  What?

Cap’n Firepants – I know, weird, huh?

Me – What did it say?

Cap’n Firepants – Call you later.

Me – Huh?

The Senior Mrs. Cap’n Firepants does not text.  Even more perplexing, her phone does not have texting capability.  She prefers “dumb phones” – the less buttons, the better.


My second conclusion:  We should text her back.  Let’s text, “Later is so formal.  Why don’t you Call Me Maybe?”  Or, better yet, we could leave her a voicemail with the song on it.

Cap’n Firepants was not amused by either conclusion.

Third conclusion:  Our mattress is conspiring with the cell phone to turn us against each other.

It’s working.


Posted on July 26, 2012, in Cap'n Firepants, Family, Humor, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 18 Comments.

  1. Oh this is too funny! It’s definitely Wonderbutt.

  2. Told you Wonderbutt was thining up a greatplot… LOL

  3. Planet of the Wonderbutts. It’s happening.

  4. OMG I’m so intrigued!!! Haha. If I had to guess, I’d go with Wonderbutt.

  5. Phones are starting to get smart and are tricking us! It’s a conspiracy! Just like how you feel your phone vibrating in your pocket when it isn’t. We better be careful with these smart phones.

  6. Maybe mom got one of those newfangled implants they say they have invented, and she was just THINKING about calling later so it automatically sent a text…

  7. Call Me Maybe is now going to be stuck in my head!!! AHH! I am preplexed, too. I am glad you didn’t “text” her back or ask her about it.

  8. I’m guessing from the levity of the post that all is well with Mama Firepants.
    Maybe WB put a cellphone under your mattress, and the texts are generated by you shifting positions through the night?

    • Now things are better, Guap, with Mama Firepants. Strangely, after I posted this, she did end up having to go into the hospital the next day, but she is okay now. Thanks for your concern!

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