Would You Still Love Me if I Was Bald?
A woman’s hopes are woven of sunbeams; a shadow annihilates them. George Eliot (1819 – 1880) English novelist
I have this absolutely wonderful blogging buddy at This Sydney Life who has decided to pass a baton to me. Let me tell you about the last time I was in a relay. I was in 5th grade, and I had never done a spot of running in my entire life. Apparently, the members of my team did something horrible in their past lives because they got stuck with me. I was the last runner. As soon as I got the baton, I burst out onto the scene. I was way ahead of everyone else. I could hear everyone cheering. By the time I was halfway around the track, I realized I was going to die. I’m pretty sure I didn’t make it to the finish line until the next day. But I can’t remember. Because oxygen could not get to my brain. And I don’t think it really has ever since.
Fortunately, this is a virtual baton that I’ve been given. And the relay is a Blog about Hope relay. When I first got this gig, I was a little worried. I haven’t had a lot of hope lately. I was going to cheat, and reblog a post I did about my dogs, and their amazing capacity to hope.
But then I ended up watching an infomercial, and realized that there is one thing that I am hopeful about – even though I have had absolutely no success in this area. Zilch. Nada. Null. Hair. I buy every single ding-dang-dong product that’s touted to give you beautiful hair. I follow my hair stylist’s directions. I watch videos. I STUDY the videos. Failure. Every time. Except for once, but then I failed in other ways, so that doesn’t count.
But I don’t care. As soon as I saw the ad for the Sarah Potempa Beachwaver Rotating Curling Iron, I knew that I must get it. I am absolutely, positively, without-a-doubt convinced that this is the solution to ALL of my hair styling problems. This curling iron CURLS ITSELF, PEOPLE! And, for those of you who are stupid like me, you can even tell it which side of your head it’s on by pressing a handy-dandy button, so it will CURL THE CORRECT WAY!
Hope? Of course I have Hope!!!! I even have a GOOD FEELING. THIS IS IT! My frizzy, fried head is going to to look fabulous in 6-10 working days. Just in time for school to start. Just in time for my new job at a new school with new people to impress with my lovely, beach-waved mane.
And, if, by some remote chance, I end up having to shave my head because I got a friggin’ appliance permanently entangled in my locks, then at least I will have the following quote to keep me from losing hope. It’s pretty much the only thing that keeps me going most days, to tell you the truth.
“A humorist tells himself every morning, ‘I hope it’s going to be a rough day.’ When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.” Alan Coren (1938 – ____) British “writer, satirist” “In “”Quotations to Cheer You Up When the World is Getting You Down,”” by Allen Klein, 1991.”
(Oh gosh, I almost forgot. Now I must pass the baton to some other lucky people. I’m giving this to my top 4 commenters. Here ya go – Aja at Writing and Recovering, Julie at JMGoyder, Audrey at Dangerously Daydreaming, and Chuck at Collies of the Meadow. Go, my friends, and run like the wind!)
Posted on August 10, 2012, in Blogging, Humor and tagged crappy hair products that I spend too much money on, curling iron, hair, hope, humor, relay. Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.
awesome quote. i may have to start using that one. and i too obsess on my hair. for me it’s product. i think i have purchased every hair product ever invented. the other day i caught myself perusing the “ethnic” hair products wondering if any of them were right for me? luckily girl 1 said, “mom, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” before i could do any damage.
I think the blue hair looks just perfect!
Good luck with the hair. I have hopeful thoughts for you. (BTW, we mentioned Wonderbutt today on blog and pingbacked – hope that is ok (there is that word again…. hope)
I saw your mention – just haven’t had a chance to comment yet. Glad your dogs behaved!
I’m glad you still have hope about hair. That’s important. It sounds like an amazing product. I can’t tell if we’re getting lazier or if this is what we’ve always needed.
Oh. We are definitely getting lazier. By the time Dimples is my age, she’ll be doing her hair with her iPad.
I giggled when I read this because I’m sitting on my couch, remarkably uncomfortable, with foam rollers in my hair. I’m trying to get big loose curls instead of my normal tight ones. Heat styling is very short lived for me, so I’m wrapped up and waiting for the damn things to dry.
Good luck with your fancy curling iron. I hope your hope pays off. Hair can be a long, frustrating process.
I hope your foam rollers worked! I always look like a poodle when I use those!
I think I would quite like a Sarah Potempa Beachwaver Rotating Curling Iron, too… It may make me feel a little more summery down here in NZ where it’s pouring with rain (which, in turn, makes my hair frizz)
I really wish you could send some of that rain here, which shows what a selfless person I am because it would certainly not do my hair any good at all.
Run? You are asking me to run? Oh no!
You could always give the baton to Godfrey and ask him to take it around. Of course, he would probably just use it to beat you up, unfortunately.
Great post. I too am hopeful about my hair and it one day losing all frizziness and finding utter beauty. Let me know how it works out for you. I may have to move north. Humidity is not my friend.
I’m sure you would look good bald!!
We would love you even if you had no hair (Ginger wants to know, are you bald? ) LOL…. Sorry about the delay in replying… but we have the baton… now let me see what we can post.. I am sure we can do something about hair… heheheh Great post! 🙂