No Bulldog Should Be Left Behind

Our bulldog, Wonderbutt, thinks that his exclusion from the public school that Dimples and I both attend (well, she attends and I teach there) is speciesism, and he would like to protest his prohibition from the property.  Since he cannot hold a sign, he decided to parade around with Dimples’ underwear instead.

The Great Underwear Protest of 2012

I informed him that he is the lucky recipient of home schooling, which is what Dimples has been begging for ever since she learned that it existed.  But Wonderbutt does not seem to think this is adequate.  Once Dimples began to sharpen her pencils in preparation for the new year, Wonderbutt immediately felt deprived.

What the heck is that noise?

Let me see…

You do realize that I could eat those pencils for you – and I would make far less noise!

Every morning, when we carefully enclose him in the Kitchen Corral, Wonderbutt gives us his most mournful look of abandonment, despite the piles of toys and beds that are showered all over the kitchen floor.

Surprisingly, he has not engaged in any interior decorating during our absences this week – which is almost disappointing.  In the evenings, however, he has managed to chew two rolls of duct tape and to make his stuffed raccoon toy into a quadruple amputee.  It seems that, if we are going to continue to neglect him for 8 hours a day, that he absolutely insists on unwavering attention once we return in the afternoon.  This makes it a bit difficult to cook and clean – and blog – but he has made it very clear that these are not his problems.

If you take a peek at my widget on the left margin, you will see that our new furniture has made it over 3 months without receiving the mark of Wonderbutt.  3 Summertime months.  3 months of the World Revolving Around Wonderbutt.  This may change very soon…

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Posted on August 30, 2012, in Dimples, Dogs, Family, Humor, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 19 Comments.

  1. I just realized…Wonderbutt is a bigger version of that pug in “Men In Black.” I can just imagine the language that comes out of his mouth after you leave in the morning. 😉

  2. Poor raccoon. Nobody likes to see that!

  3. Bella can destroy an indestructible dog toy in less than 5 minutes AND then look up and give you a look that says “What? I’m only a little poodle – they should have made it way tougher…”

    Wonderbutt is kind of my hero…

  4. ‘Speciesism’ – a new word!

  5. Please do keep us informed if/when the couch suddenly becomes an amputee, too. Wonderbutt may decide (and very soon) that being the center of the universe is not all that bad.
    I, too, like This Sydney Life, think of him as my hero.
    Thanks for making my day.

  6. Interesting! Leave a bulldog behind or take him along; he’s gonna be fun. He’ll create extra work for you. That’s his job. Lovely post!

  7. Poor Wonderbutt. Feeling lonely. He’s probably having some of his own pity parties.

  8. I wish your furniture the best of luck.

  9. Miranda Gargasz

    Wait, the world doesn’t revolve around Wonderbutt? Pshaw!

  10. I am not so sure that WB would agree with the comment made by Miranda above. As far as WB is concerned the world does revolve around him..as has been shown in the past when the floor has been demolished and the sofa shredded and the carpets.
    I can understand his feelings..8 hrs is a long time for a fella to be on his own,,,,,what about a nice neighbour taking him for walkies..He would like that!

  11. Hee hee underwear protest, I may have to join him on the picket line!!

  12. Bored dogs are trouble. He’ll figure it out and be back to his old antics soon, I’m sure. And my kids want me to homeschool them too. Like we wouldn’t kill each other.

  13. Dimples was probably not pleased with the underwear display…
    And I hate to ask, but how does one chew through a roll of duct tape?
    Hoping your beautiful furniture stays safe from the maw of Wonderbutt!! 🙂

  14. Wonderbutt needs to visit dogshaming.com.

  15. Chancy and Mumsy

    Well, we think sweet Wonderbutt has those wheels turning making future plans…better be ready is what we think. 🙂 Hugs for all and nose kisses for that funny, cute boy!

  16. Very funny, loved it! Be thankful Dimples doesn’t experience separation anxiety. You would be surprised at what your beloved pets are capable of after you leave.

  17. LOL… now I can hear the music… the Jaws music with Wonderbutt standing there licking his chops.. hehehehe

  18. Oh, the furniture! I am very hopeful for you.

  19. Neat blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere?
    A theme like yours with a few simple tweeks would really make my blog stand out.

    Please let me know where you got your theme. With thanks

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