I Did NOT See That Coming

The Mission:  Renew my driver’s license

The Plan:  Drop my daughter off at school at 7:10 A.M., race to the Driver’s License Office on the other side of town, arrive there before it opens at 8 A.M., spend hours in line, spend the rest of the day blogging about my horrible experience.

Equipment:  Proof of Lawful Presence (Birth Certificate), Proof of Identity (Old Driver’s License), Social Security Card, Pre-requisite Giant Pimple in the Middle of My Forehead that Appeared Just in Time for My New Picture That Will Be on My Card for the Next 12 Years

The Plan was immediately derailed on my way to dropping Dimples off at school.  A block away from the school, we saw a stray dog.  Black.  The night before, while I was walking my own dog, a woman had driven up beside me and asked if I had seen, “a stray black dog.  It belongs to my mother-in-law.”

So, I dropped Dimples off, and drove back to the dog.  Knowing that I had just ruined the 3rd part of my plan – to arrive at the Driver’s License Office before 8 A.M.

After calling the two numbers on the sweet dog’s tags, and receiving no answer, I realized the address was right across the street.  I drove her over, and rang the doorbell.

“I think I have your dog,” I said, to a woman who was clearly not a mother-in-law or the woman I had talked to the night before.

“Oh, yes, we just realized she was missing.”

Despite the fact that I had not helped the people I thought I was helping, I consoled myself that I was helping the dog.

Until the woman took the dog from my front seat and unceremoniously threw her in the back yard.

I sighed, sent a silent apology to the dog for cutting short her freedom, checked the clock, and realized that I might still be able to get back on The Plan.

Well aware of the irony of getting a speeding ticket while I was on my way to renew my license, I pushed the envelope ever so slightly, and made it to the DL office about 7:40 A.M.  There were already about 15 people in line ahead of me outside the building.

They let us inside early, rattling off a bunch of rules at the front of the line that I couldn’t hear, and already making me uneasy that I had not brought the necessary Equipment.  When I got to the big display near the front door that offered a list as long as my arm of all of the ways I could show Proof of Residence, I began to panic.  I did not bring Proof of Residence.  It did not say on the website that I needed Proof of Residence.  I could prove that I am Lawfully Present, but that is not the same thing.  OMG!  Am I going to stand in line for hours, only to be turned away because I cannot prove that I reside?

I began to hyperventilate.

I watched two people being told that they did not have the necessary paperwork, and started to plot my defense.  I pulled up the site on my iPad so that I could show them that it clearly does not state that I need Proof of Residence.  I prepared to Make a Scene at the Driver’s License Office.

And then, I heard a few squeaks and squeals.  Some of them came from people in line farther down.

Some of them came from a mouse.

A mouse, weaving in and out of the line, with the clear intention of making his way to the front.

My Scene suddenly seemed less interesting.

We watched as the mouse skittered to one of the stations, where a DL employee made a small screech, and quickly disappeared.

I was tempted to get close to the mouse to get a good picture, but I, of course, did not want to lose my place in line.  Even though I was clearly going to get the “Go Back Home and Get Your Paperwork” lecture once I made it to the front.

So, I satisfied myself with unsatisfying pictures of people’s feet, and a few blurry pictures of the mouse finally being captured in a large bowl.

He was taken outside, and released, according to the very humane DL department employees.

That’s what you get when you can’t show Proof of Residence, I thought.

A brave employee secures the mouse, who apparently no longer felt the need to run once it reached the front of the line.

With the cunning use of a file folder, the employee manages to create a portable enclosure for the mouse – so he can be “put outside”.

to be continued…

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Posted on September 16, 2012, in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 32 Comments.

  1. I sure hope this story has a happy ending. Not so happy for the dog or the mouse, so far, but I’m hoping……

  2. What the heck! I am missing the adventure that appears constantly in your life!! I am now dying to know if you got sent home or if you were able to get your license renewed without P of R. In my experience, there is no reasoning with the DPS!

  3. Chancy and Mumsy

    Oh, no!!! We have to wait to see if you ever got your license renewed or if any other excitement came your way. Hugs

  4. Brave little mouse!

  5. Animals taking over the streets and the DMV? The Mayans were right! The End is Nigh!

  6. I love this! A Humane DMV. Now there is an oxymoron.

  7. hmmmmmmm…. you should’ve imitated the mouse and perhaps gotten served faster because of the “humane” DMV…. heheheh

  8. See how fast DLO employees can react given the right circumstances?

  9. In Connecticut, you can now renew your license at AAA. They are nice there. It blows my mind.

  10. I have had to give up my license for a year….long story… all because of the proof of residence issues (which after July 1st in Georgia became two sources of proof of residence) and there absolute inability to forward my license that would take over 40 some days to process to a diplomatic/military address because we are stationed overseas with the State Department (new secure ID driver’s license rules). AGHHH! Even with all the documents and orders and leases and close to 6 hrs waiting — I ended up walking away empty handed. Hoping your luck was better!!!

  11. I felt so sad for the dog…so happy for the mouse, and so concerned for you..did you get your Driver’s licence?

  12. first: ONLINE renewal. second: had there been a mouse while i was at the DL office, there would be much bigger problems than no proof of residency. third: hysterical post and your shots of the captured mouse in a bowl *might* be better than shots of the actual mouse.

    • Way ahead of you there. Tried the online renewal, and they kicked me off because I did it last time. Apparently you can only do it every other time – at least that’s the story my web browser told me.

      I still wish I’d gotten the mouse. He was a cute little thing. And I am so thankful no one felt the need to stomp on it. That would have been far more traumatic for me to witness!

  13. I swear, Hell is the being stuck in the never-ending line at the DMV…for an eternity. Hope it ended well.

  14. As if the DMV isn’t bad enough without vermin!!!

  15. Always good times at the DOL… And you saved a lost doggy! You’re like super woman!

  1. Pingback: Does Harry Potter Have to Get a Driver’s License? « whatimeant2say

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