You Have Heard of Google, Right?
Posted by whatimeant2say
So, the other day I meet this guy for the first time. During our conversation, he finds out what college I attended, and, hey, what a coincidence, he went there, too.
Then he proceeds to tell me an outlandish story about an 8-year-old genius that attended this college when he was there (at least 15 years before I happened on the scene), and how the frats would have keg parties specifically planned for this kid, in which the kegs would be full of root beer.
And then, how this kid was consulted by the student body when the college found a way to keep them from “sudsing” the fountain by putting a chemical in the water. And the brilliant boy genius figured out, not only how to counteract the university’s evil plan, but also how to add his own chemical that would make the suds ten times worse.
My new acquaintance then says, “Gee, I wonder what ever happened to that kid.”
And I say, “Why don’t you Google him?”
And he says, “I don’t remember his name.”
Seriously? You can tell me how the football team used to run on the field carrying this kid on his shoulder, how he tested out of every college subject, how the professors wanted him to do the teaching, and you can’t remember his name?
I don’t think I’ve mentioned this, but I am a Google Genius. And I can tell you, even without knowing this kid’s name, that you made this whole thing up.
I wish I’d had this power when I was in college, when the guy I was dating called to cancel our date, and told me he was at the hospital with a friend “who is having stomach problems” – and it turned out to be his girlfriend miscarrying his child.
Or when my mother told me that she was a medical doctor, with a specialization in Psychiatry. Even though she never went to medical school.
Pathological Liars – A Dying Breed.
Except in politics.