You Have Heard of Google, Right?

photo credit: id-iom via photopin cc

So, the other day I meet this guy for the first time.  During our conversation, he finds out what college I attended, and, hey, what a coincidence, he went there, too.

Okay.

Then he proceeds to tell me an outlandish story about an 8-year-old genius that attended this college when he was there (at least 15 years before I happened on the scene), and how the frats would have keg parties specifically planned for this kid, in which the kegs would be full of root beer.

Uh-huh.

And then, how this kid was consulted by the student body when the college found a way to keep them from “sudsing” the fountain by putting a chemical in the water.  And the brilliant boy genius figured out, not only how to counteract the university’s evil plan, but also how to add his own chemical that would make the suds ten times worse.

Yep.

My new acquaintance then says, “Gee, I wonder what ever happened to that kid.”

And I say, “Why don’t you Google him?”

And he says, “I don’t remember his name.”

Seriously?  You can tell me how the football team used to run on the field carrying this kid on his shoulder, how he tested out of every college subject, how the professors wanted him to do the teaching, and you can’t remember his name?

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this, but I am a Google Genius.  And I can tell you, even without knowing this kid’s name, that you made this whole thing up.

I wish I’d had this power when I was in college, when the guy I was dating called to cancel our date, and told me he was at the hospital with a friend “who is having stomach problems” – and it turned out to be his girlfriend miscarrying his child.

Or when my mother told me that she was a medical doctor, with a specialization in Psychiatry.  Even though she never went to medical school.

Pathological Liars – A Dying Breed.

Except in politics.

Thanks, Google.

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Posted on October 8, 2012, in Annoyances, Humor and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.

  1. The human capacity for outlandish stories never fails to amaze.

  2. I’m having a difficult time holding back this laughter! 🙂
    Life is a process, we keep learning. Some kind of lies can’t fool us more than once.
    lovely post!

  3. wow. you gotta hand it to him for a pretty hilariously outlandish lie, though.

  4. Oh, if only I could have googled the asshole who romanced me while his wife was pregnant with his third child….

  5. Love it. Though that guy probably needs a scriptwriter/producer rather than Google – I can imagine a mini series about that 8 year old wonder boy…the Doogie Howser for a new generation! 🙂

  6. That’s one of the (many) blessings of the smart phone. In the middle of every single conversation, I can say, “Let’s Google it.” (800,000,000) times a day. What does kumbaya really mean? Google it. How much do you think the Shea Stadium groundskeepers make? Google it. Why is the Empire State Building lit up yellow tonight? Google it. And on and on and on….. Is there medication for this???

  7. Hilarious! That is so true though, it’s hard to get away with a lie these days.

  8. From one Google Genius to another — love this! (It’s so true.)

  9. LOL! Pathological liars aren’t really a dying breed. They’ll just tell you they’re dying so you’ll feel sorry for them…

  10. You always crack me up. You’re like a glass of water on a hot day!

  1. Pingback: Short Fiction/Poem: Little Eight Year Old Boy | Wise Counsel

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