I am on Southern Living’s Hit List
My husband was sorting through his 83-year-old mother’s bills yesterday, and suddenly said, “Hmm. This is sad.”
“What is?”
“Well, this is a bill from Southern Living Magazine, and it lists all of the gift subscriptions Mom has given to other people. A lot of people. Everyone on the list is dead.”
“Wow, that is sad.”
He started reading the list out loud, and then paused.
“Oh, except you of course.”
Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean that Southern Living is plotting to kill me.
It could mean that his mom is out to get me, instead.
If I die after taste-testing a new apple tart recipe, don’t be so quick to ascribe it to my miserable skills in the kitchen.
photo credit: brownpau via photopin cc
Posted on October 13, 2012, in Death, Family, Humor and tagged cooking, death, hit list, humor, Southern Living. Bookmark the permalink. 18 Comments.
That rings a bell! I work for a catalog/internet company, and last year we did a little survey of people who bought gifts from us two years ago, but not last year. Twenty percent of them were dead! I guess our subscriber base is a little old.
Wow! At least that 20% weren’t unhappy customers…
That’s kind of funny but not funny!
It’s a bit worrisome. Of course, the next day, I received an invitation from them to pay for my own subscription. I’m not sure where that fits into their dark plot…
Too funny! Be afraid… be very afraid…
It’s quite disconcerting to have your name lumped in with a bunch of deceased people.
See, there goes my brain again. I read “diseased” instead of “deceased”. I think being lumped in with diseased people would be worse…
that’s not good news!
When you think about it, how often does good news come in your mailbox anymore?
His Mom’s still not paying for those subscriptions, is she? 😉
Not to our knowledge!
And Monty Python’s Holy Grail immediately pops to mind. “I’m not dead yet!”
Love it – like the Spamalot version, too!
Aww, that’s kinda funny and depressing!
I think that’s my favorite kind of humor these days!
Is that sort of your mother-in-laws way of saying “Three Days”?
LOL!!! Love how you write about anything and everything…
Thanks!