What To Say to a Depressed Person

photo credit: Wrote via photopin cc

Here’s a little cheat sheet for you just in case you find yourself face-to-face with a person suffering from depression.  It’s always hard to know exactly what to say…

Are you okay?  This should be said as soon as you lay eyes on the person, with incredible emotion, as though you just witnessed the person barely escape alive from a car accident, and her hair is on fire.  Don’t worry; she won’t feel self-conscious at all about her appearance.

Exercise always makes me feel better.  These are motivational words for anyone who is overwhelmed by the thought of getting out of bed to take a shower.

Whenever I’m sad, I always try to think about the good things in my life.  Depressed people love to be reminded that we are too self-absorbed to realize that we should be grateful there isn’t a telethon named after us.

Maybe, you should stop drinking/eating so much Diet Coke/fill-in-the-blank. You are absolutely right.  Depriving ourselves of the less destructive vices in life will definitely make us more cheerful.

Are you mad at me?  Of course I’m mad at you.  The fact that you feel the need to ask me this question proves that you are feeling guilty about some transgression against me.  But, don’t worry,  I’m more mad at myself.  Partly for being mad at other people.

Do you really think medication is the best option?   That’s a great question.  I’m not sure.  I mean, I haven’t tried anything else.  As soon as I cried during my first ASPCA/Sarah McLachlan commercial, I said to myself, “I need to get a handle on this.  I better start popping some pills.”

I looked everywhere on the internet, and on my new medication information, and nowhere does it say: Possible Side Effects – Increased Sarcasm.  The FDA really needs to look into this…



Posted on October 21, 2012, in Depression, Humor and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 54 Comments.

  1. Then you tell them that Desserts is just stressed spelled backwards. Stress and depression are best friends so bake them a cake and tell them you love them.

  2. And how often have I heard some of these coming from naive mouths (mine included). Thanks for adding a dose of sarcasm for this otherwise hum-drum Sunday. Made my day and kept me from having to come up with some of my own.
    How’s Wonderbutt today?

  3. thank you for explaining all the extra sarcasm that has been spewing out of my mouth recently. I was really beginning to think something else was wrong with me!

  4. Should I be reading between the lines here (or have I missed something during my hiatus?)

  5. Sometimes, sarcasm is the only way…..

  6. You left out the old fave: “Just snap out of it.”

  7. My all time favorite: is it that time of month?

  8. Tell.it.like.it.is.

    Have you tried a high colonic? Enemas always work for me. Actually,that’s what you should tell people you’re using as treatment. They might just leave you alone. I may try that myself.

  9. How about these:
    “Pull yourself together”
    “You need to get out more”
    Oh how I love this beautifully sarcastic post!

  10. Yes! I know how you feel. I love this post, too. “You should be over that by now” or “What can you do about this?” or “Now I don’t know what to say that you might commit suicide on me!” Yes. These were all actually spoken to me. By very long time friends who never saw me crash before. Because I didn’t until 2010 when all hell broke loose for two relentless years so far. I am still trying to glue me and my life back together, if I can find all of my pieces, that is. lol. Great post. What I’ll say: Hugging you!

  11. Good post. And I’m not just saying that.

  12. And let me just say this, and I mean it in the nicest way of course: Maybe you should skip the second bowl of ice cream.

  13. Sarcasm is a wonderful tool. You actually use it very well. You crack me up, and at least know even though you may be down, you pick a lot of us up.

  14. Ooooohhhh!!! This is my favorite game to play! Too bad I didn’t see this yesterday, all my favorites are taken. I guess I’ll have to wait for Things to Say to an Anxious Person and Things to Say to a Person with OCD. This is a series, right?

  15. I’ll just sit with them in companionable silence, to let them know they aren’t alone.
    The sarcasm I’ll save for the jackasses who say what you’ve listed above.

  16. I have a hunch that sarcasm is good for the soul – but the FDA is still checking into that statement too. 🙂 Please tell me people don’t actually say things like this? Attack of the not-so-tactful!

  17. This is an fantastic list. I want to print it out and hand it out to people. Or give it out in a little business card format like those “you suck at parking” tickets I see on Pinterest all the time.

  18. Whenever I get depressed I take pleasure from the fact that I scare people. It’s strangely fulfilling.

  19. And I thought I was becoming exceptionally witty, but now that you mention it…

  20. LOL…increased sarcasm as a side effect. yes. I believe it.

  21. Good list! I hope I haven’t committed one of these offenses. I hope you get it straightened out soon.

  22. After one nasty bout with depression, I actually DO consider it is time for pills again when I cry at commercials…

  23. I love this post so much I am re-reading it again today and all the fantastic comments. Another thing that people sometimes say to me is “You seem a lot better than you did last week.” That always makes me worry about what the hell I was like last week (especially when this week I am feeling worse!) And the other day I was handing someone a cup of tea and my hands were shaking and, instead of ignoring this, she exclaimed, in front of a bunch of people, “Your hands are shaking!” I withdrew outside for a cigarette and heard them whispering about me sympathetically. Arghhhhhh!

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