Why I’ll Be Looking for a New Job Next Year

So, I got a new job this year.  Actually, it’s the same job – just at a different place.  I was teaching at my previous school for 13 years, and then got the opportunity to transfer to one closer to my home.  When I was swimming in a sea of boxes in the middle of August, and locked out of my room by a cockroach, it occurred to me that volunteering to change schools was not the most intelligent decision I had ever made.  In my previous school, cockroaches were usually polite enough to die before I encountered them, and I’m pretty sure that I had a lot fewer teaching materials stored in all of the cubbies and walk-in closet than the plethora that suddenly seemed to poised to swallow me and my new, zero-storage room.

But it was too late to go back.  And I adjusted, and made a few medication changes, and prominently displayed an ant farm in the middle of the classroom so the cockroach could make an informed decision about whether or not he wanted to risk another sudden appearance in front of a woman who was not above sticking insects in a transparent prison with fake plastic buildings.

It has taken me until now to realize the true advantage of my new position, and to kick myself for waiting 13 years to make this discovery.

“I love that dress!”

“Wow, you look so fashionable today!”

“You always look so chic!”

“You look beautiful!”

Okay, the last compliment was from a kindergartener who was probably trying to angle a sticker out of me.  But, still.  Suddenly, praise for my wardrobe is greeting me on a daily basis.

And I haven’t bought anything new.

I just plucked out my same ole winter rags that I’ve worn for the last several seasons, and people are acting like I just walked off the runway.  Modeling runway, I mean, of course.  Because if I just walked off a plane runway, I’d probably be tackled by Homeland Security and accused of terroristic acts.  And full body searched.  Which would not be pleasant.  And probably would not make me feel very good about myself or my clothes.

So, anyway, I now realize that, instead of spending money on clothing each season so I won’t blend into the wall because people are so used to me wearing the same 5 outfits, I just need to change jobs every year.  I need to employ my faculties finding a new faculty to employ me, instead of agonizing over new, risky fashion choices.  Consider it my little contribution to the Reduce, Reuse, Recycle Movement.

And, maybe, if I can keep this ingenious plan going for the next 5 or 6 years, I’ll save up enough money to buy this sweet little pair of Jimmy Choos.

Maybe I can buy one half of the pair now, and put the other one on layaway? 

What?  You weren’t expecting me to donate the cash to charity or something, did you?


Posted on November 27, 2012, in Fashion, Humor, Ideas, Shoes and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 38 Comments.

  1. Glad to hear they have a more perceptive level of student in your new school!.
    Maybe you can just have them swap your class in the middle of the year so you get new kids to appreciate you?

  2. Yes! This is as good a reason as any to change schools every year. I am totally on board with this hoped-for transfer. It isn’t whether you win or lose, it’s how you look when you play the game.

  3. That’s an interesting idea. Maybe I should try it. On the cockroach, the only time I said a remotely bad word in my class was when I saw a huge, giant cricket in the back of my classroom. It startled me so much I yelled out, “Holy Crap!!” Kids who have graduated still tell me how funny that was.

    • Oh, wow! That’s hysterical! One of our music teachers said, “Crap!” next to a microphone she thought was turned off, and the entire 5th grade – all 6 classes, dissolved into uncontrollable laughter. They are so easy to entertain.

  4. A brilliant idea. There’s always the danger however that a whole new group of people will be snickering at the same outfit.

  5. I count on my friends having bad short term memory, or else just being too polite to comment on clothes I’ve had and worn for YEARS! But I like your plan!

  6. Yeah but what your readers don’t know is that you really do always look chic and have an amazing wardrobe!! 🙂

  7. Oh, good strategy! And ecologically responsible, too. 🙂

  8. I’m going to start calling you Dorothy…

  9. I. Want. Those. Shoes. Wedding shoes don’t have to be white do they?

    Since going to college I get new compliments on clothes I’ve had since middle school. People ask me where I got them and I’m all, “um, JC Penny 3 years ago?” It’s a nice feeling.

  10. dare I ask the price of the shoes?

  11. Genius! Although, the way I dress I would just have to break in a new set of people to give up on me ever looking chic. 8)

  12. Women and shoes…an eternal mystery.

  13. Mag (Chancy's Mumsy)

    You are just so funny!! Hope you can find enough schools to change to every year that won’t be to far from home. 🙂 Hugs

  14. I think you’re really onto something here! I went to get Bubba up the other morning and she pointed at my dress: “pretty”. It’s a dress I’ve had for at least 5 years, but she doesn’t know that – all she sees is flowers floating toward her 🙂

  15. Ha! This post is really making me want to start wearing my old clothes in new places. (As I am the ultimate compliment junkie, of course!)

  16. Oh wow, those shoes would be worth swapping jobs annually to get your hands on!
    I especially loved the image of you on an actual runway being chased by TSA agents. 🙂

  17. LOL! I’ve had a similar thought before…now that they’ve seen this scarf, they won’t be as impressed by it next time! Oy, vey, the pressure…

  18. Ginger says that shoe looks tasty! 🙂

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